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What's your bad but funny joke?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
So tonight in GC, Fostress started bad but funny jokes! As a cheer me up, thread I want to hear YOUR bad but funny jokes!!

Mine:
How do space party? They Planet!
How does a train eat? It goes choo-choo.

Fostress's:
Why did the sneeze cross the road? Because it aaaah chooo!

Post and lets have a giggle!!:hyper:
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh Soph, once again I'm laughing at you and not with you :lol:
  • Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Why did the wheat have big ears?

    Because it was in-bread.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's large and grey and doesn't matter?
    An irrelephant!

    What did the scarecrow say when he was advised to change his job?
    'Hay, it's in my jeans!'

    :hyper:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What did the scarf say to the hat?
    You go on ahead, I'll hang around :lol:
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,677 Skive's The Limit
    -My dog keeps lying to me! Listen to this. Hey, dog, what noise do cats make?
    -Woof!
    -See?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
    Because he was outstanding in his field!
  • HannHann Posts: 3,434 Boards Guru
    What do you call a bear with no teeth?
    A gummy Bear!!!! XD

    What did the policeman say to his tummy?
    You're under a vest!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's the difference between a snowman and snow woman?

    SNOW BALLS!!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day.



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I sold my hoover the other day, after all it was just gathering dust.

    I also swapped my bed for a trampoline, Didn't tell the other half. She hit the roof
  • SarahRSarahR Posts: 213 Trailblazer
    MikeS told a good one in chat the other week:

    I'd like to find work cleaning mirrors. It's a job I can really see myself doing. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MikeS's are SO bad hahaha!! :P


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *peapie* wrote: »
    MikeS's are SO bad hahaha!! :P


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

    They're so bad but strangely brilliant. Never fails to make me laugh
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What did one toilet say to the other? "You're looking a bit flushed"
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,285 Skive's The Limit
    Whats brown and sticky?

    A stick.

    :d
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    Whats brown and sticky?

    A stick.

    :d
    One of my carers said this to me the other day. He found it hilarious haha
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's got two legs and fly's?

    A pair of trousers
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    Whats brown and sticky?

    A stick.

    :d

    Omg 😂 and Fostress said mine where bad :P


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • PGreenPGreen Posts: 175 Helping Hand
    What did one snowman say to the other...

    "Can you smell carrots?"

    oDmA96J.jpg
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    PGreen wrote: »
    What did one snowman say to the other...

    "Can you smell carrots?"

    oDmA96J.jpg
    Christmas cracker joke??
  • PGreenPGreen Posts: 175 Helping Hand
    Quite possibly it is such a good one :yippe: Or it might have been from the 'Haha bonk' jokebook - a favourite book of mine aged 7,I must have been so annoying! I was also a big fan of the jokes on the back of a penguin biscuit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    PGreen wrote: »
    Quite possibly it is such a good one :yippe: Or it might have been from the 'Haha bonk' jokebook - a favourite book of mine aged 7,I must have been so annoying! I was also a big fan of the jokes on the back of a penguin biscuit.
    I had a massive joke book as a kid, could have done some serious damage with it haha

    Yeah, everyone loves penguin jokes. They just don't admit it. My personal fav (which I'm a bit sad for knowing off by heart).... What do penguins sing on someone's birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow :lol: :yippee:
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,285 Skive's The Limit
    *peapie* wrote: »
    Omg 😂 and Fostress said mine where bad :P

    I don't know what you mean. That is quite possible the funniest non dirty joke I know. :)


    A woman walks into a bar and asks the bar man for a double entendre.
    So he gives her one.
    Weekender Offender 
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,285 Skive's The Limit
    PGreen wrote: »
    Quite possibly it is such a good one :yippe: Or it might have been from the 'Haha bonk' jokebook - a favourite book of mine aged 7,I must have been so annoying! I was also a big fan of the jokes on the back of a penguin biscuit.

    Now there's a bit of nostalgia. The Ha Ha Bonk book was legendary at my primary school.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :eek: I forgot about that book! Brilliant.
  • PGreenPGreen Posts: 175 Helping Hand
    Skive wrote: »
    Now there's a bit of nostalgia. The Ha Ha Bonk book was legendary at my primary school.

    All of the best jokes!
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,285 Skive's The Limit
    Just ordered it from Amazon for £4 for my 6 year step son. Good stocking filler.
    Weekender Offender 
  • PGreenPGreen Posts: 175 Helping Hand
    Skive wrote: »
    Just ordered it from Amazon for £4 for my 6 year step son. Good stocking filler.

    You are going to love the continual knock knock jokes over Xmas, partnered with the brilliant cracker jokes. You are in for a treat :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talking of knock knock jokes ;)

    Knock Knock,
    Who's there?
    Ya,
    Ya who?
    Nah I use Google.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,677 Skive's The Limit
    -Somebody said you do a great impression of an owl!
    -Who?
    -Not bad!
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