Therapy opening up

Former Member

Hi

Basically I've been in therapy before and just as I opened up to my last one she left.... So now I'm wondering do I open up to my new one....

She knows I've been raped but I refuse to talk about it as it brings up too many memories and flashbacks. I keep a diary for her and thought I'd read it over tonight and it's gone into further depth about the rape and beatings for not doing as I was told. I'm wondering whether I should let her read it in the session tomorrow .... I want to let her in but what if she leaves and again I'm left dealing with the back hand of things again.

I struggle dealing with things after sessions which she's aware but this week I have plans for the weekend so hopefully I can hold on till after that. Maybe it's a good time to let her in as I'll be busy afterwards which is what I need when I have a difficult session I just hate talking about what happened in the past and the thought of reliving it with someone else is petrifying. I relive it enough without reliving it somewhere I feel safe.

I don't know what to do. Babbling on now don't know the point of this thread anyway.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Former Member

It's really good that you've made this thread and I can relate to nearly everything you've said so hopefully what I'm about to say is to some use 😊

You said you'd like to open up but you're scared that you will be left to deal with things on your own if she leaves? How about if you asked her if she knew how long she was staying around for. If its for a short time then you could maybe think about how you could manage the situation if you was to let her read it.

I agree with you actually, because you've got plans for this weekend you will be distracted from any thoughts or possible flashbacks. But only do what you're comfortable with

Hope you're okay! And good luck x

Sent by Sony Xperia

Former Member

Hey BlondieLiz,

It's really positive to hear that you're building trust with your counselor after a difficult experience previously where she left after you opened up to her. It's entirely understandable that you're feeling nervous about trying this again, it's brave and will take some courage from you.

Getting to the really hard and personal stuff in part is what counselling is all about, however, in order to do that you need to feel ready and safe in doing so.

I wonder if telling her what you have told us could help? That you feel on the verge of really opening up but you're scared - this gives you the chance to talk it through a bit and even consider what you feel would be best for you to have in place after a session like that should you choose to go ahead. It will also give her a chance to reassure you around your fears about her leaving.

As becki says, the distraction could be just what you need but perhaps avoid putting too much pressure on yourself and see how you feel on the day?

Take care and let us know how you get on *hug*

Former Member

Thanks for your reply Becki, well she didn't want to see it unless I was willing to talk about it so kind of feel let down I want her thoughts but I don't if that makes sense. Had a good session anyway without opening up so was ok!


Thanks for your reply Jo, we got to the point of opening up and finding things difficult that I don't feel safe at the moment and it will take time.

Don't really know what to say.

Hugs


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Former Member

Feel like shutting down in therapy I don't want to talk about the past. I want her to know but just avoid talking about it but she don't think that's wise to avoid. Dam!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Former Member

BlondieLiz wrote: »

Thanks for your reply Becki, well she didn't want to see it unless I was willing to talk about it so kind of feel let down I want her thoughts but I don't if that makes sense. Had a good session anyway without opening up so was ok!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm sorry that you felt let down. Maybe try to explain to her that you just wanted her to read it so she was aware of the stuff going on and you may want her thoughts on it? How about that?

Sent by Sony Xperia

Former Member

Nar I don't think I'll tell her I've given up wanting her to know what happened till a later date I'll just go with the flow and see where things take me might feel more able to talk about it like she wants eventually j know it'll take a lot of time and therapy may be extended but we will see!

Thanks for your advice Becki really appreciate it


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Former Member

Stuff like this can take a lot of therapy sessions to come to terms with what happened but you should be really proud of yourself for even thinking about talking it through with her 😊 Its a big thing to do :yes:

Sent by Sony Xperia

Former Member

Thanks Becki

Don't think I'll give it through starting a new notebook for her so the disgust and vileness isn't in there and maybe one time I'll feel ready to share but for now I just want to curl up and hide from it l x


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Former Member

Its okay to just put that one to one side for now but its good that you're opening up to her 😊 Plus it gives you an excuse to get more note books hehe

Sent by Sony Xperia