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Help, I don't think I satisfy my fiancé anymore!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
We have been together a year nlw and have sec everyday if not every other day. We never go longer than that. I always thought the sex was good and I thought he felt the same way. We'll I've been noticing the past month he waits for me to fall asleep then masturbates! He even does this after we've had sex a couple hours earlier. Why is he doing this? He's never done it before. I can't help but feel I don't satisfy him sexually anymore and so he has to do it himself.
Why is he jerking off suddenly? What can I do? Everytime I bring it up he denies it but I wasn't always sleeping when he was masturbating.

Also after we have sex later on that night I notice his duck pulsating and starting to get hard. Then he can't sleep. That's when he waits for me to "fall asleep" so he can jerk off.

Please help!!!


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Masturbating is no sign for lowered attraction towards their partner, especially if sex occurs in such a 'healthy' frequency. Sometimes you don't wanna go through all that ordeal that sex is and just rub one out. It honestly is often just more of a quick release. He seems to have a high libido and does not want to have sex all the time, and there is nothing wrong with that.

    I am sure he is not averse to having a conversation about it, if you are not confrontational about it, which, given your views about masturbation you might be. Assure him you are O.K. with him spending some alone time (which you should be!), but he shouldn't be hesitant to ask you for assistance. Maybe you can ask him if he is curious about trying something new in bed if your sex life is a bit vanilla. Honestly this situation is way better then having a dead bedroom because one part of the relationship never craves sex.

    It only becomes problematic if he starts turning you down lots to masturbate instead of having regular sex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't have a problem with him masturbating, my concern is why he's never done it before and only started to recently. And it does affect our sex life in a way because his penis does not get as hard as it usually does, I suppose from the excessive stimulation from masturbation. It always got rock hard before.
    I can't help but think he rather jerk off but still has sex with me everyday because he doesn't want me to suspect anything.

    It's been really weighing on me lately and I don't even want to have sex with him lately because of it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey KayBaby88 :wave:

    Sex drives are pretty weird things and they can go up and down like yo-yo's. It must be confusing for you - as you mentioned this has just started happening, and you have noticed an increase in the amount your partner is masturbating. It could be that his sex drive has ramped up and he's feeling particularly horny, but may not want to put a lot of pressure on you to have sex all the time.

    I do agree with StrubbleS suggesting you should have a chat to your partner about it - which might seem daunting and embarrassing but, you might feel like a weight is off your shoulders if you bring the subject up with him, and clear the air. You might want to consider saying that you noticed he is jerking off a lot more, and that you might want to ask if there is anything else you could do for him/with him? It sounds like you have a healthy sex life, and Im sure he would rather be having sex than wanking - I reckon most guys would :)

    There's a great article on sex drives on TheSite, which you might want to have a look at http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/relationships/mismatched-sex-drives-2932.html

    Lots of luck and I hope things work out - let us know how you get on :wave:
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