Am I really feeling sorry for myself?

Former Member

Ever since been 18 I've always been treated like a child.
But for some reason my other two sisters especially the youngest have been treated like adults....
They never a curfew bit I did
They had a key to our parents home but not me
And whenever she was upset we had to watch what we said and be nice

But I've had worse happen to me which I won't go into and yet when I'm upset I can't talk to them about. Can't even cry. All I get told is stop feeling sorry for myself. Still to this day my little sister has a key and one night I was staying at theirs and I wanted to go home but they were still out, I had to stay out because my own mother wouldn't give me the key because "I don't get parcels delivered there".

And one night my younger sister attacked me for no reason and I didn't hit back but they said the same. Stop feeling sorry for myself

I said nasty things to them because I did nothing wrong to deserve it. I feel like they only wanted to make peace because my mum wants to see her grand kids. I should have disowned them. And now I feel like they're only been nice to my face because of my children. Am I really feeling sorry myself?

Danny!

Hi lacey88

I'm sorry that you've been having such a hard time with your family I think "feeling sorry for yourself" can be a really negative phrase. We always feel things for a reason, and if you're feeling bad then there is a reason behind it.

We all need someone to understand how we're feeling. Maybe if your mother and sisters aren't able to do this at the moment, there might be someone else who would understand better? Other family members or friends? Keep talking here too. You could also consider talking to Supportline who offer confidential support no the phone or email for any emotional issues.

You don't say that much about what your family situation is, and why you think your sisters might be treated differently to you. Feel free to tell us more if you'd like.

Former Member

Are you the eldest?

It's pretty common for the eldest sibling to have been given tighter restrictions at a certain age than their younger ones are. On the eldest, the parents are still getting used to the idea that their child might be growing up, and restrictions change. Once you get onto younger children, they've got their head around it more - so things become more relaxed.

As an example, after I passed my driving test - I was allowed to use the car, but only if I had asked well in advance, I told them where I was going, text them when I was about to leave and text them when I arrived, and had to be home by a certain time. As the eldest, when I went out on the big bad roads, where teenager drivers die all the time (according to the news) it was the first time for my parents that one of their children had done that so they were understandably very wary. By the time it got to my baby brother, he pretty much just picks up the keys, heads off and turns up at home whenever. Far fewer restrictions than I had.

Do I bear a grudge about that? No. Parents will always treat children differently. Each person is different, and has different experiences. If you try and keep points/compare every detail of how parents are with one child vs another then you'll always be disappointed. You need to learn to work on your relationship with them directly rather than always comparing it to another one.

Former Member

Hey lacey88, just wanted to check in to make sure you're doing ok?