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Job interview tomorrow and controlling parents

Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary GuruPosts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,

I have a job interview tomorrow at my local Tesco. The interview was arranged by my cousin who works there. My mother told me about the interview after a phone call from my cousin. I told her I don't want to work in retail,customer service. I get nervous around people so no way would I be able to serve customers. It is hard enough going into stores and paying at the tills. For as long as I can remember, I have been shy and not confident enough around people.

I told my mother I don't want to work in retail because I am not a people person. She said you have to start somewhere with employment. She also said what answer are you going to give your father if he asks as he will get angry. I am thinking, it is my life. I am not going to work for his sake. I should be able to find a job I would be comfortable in, not forced into one. All my life my parents have controlled my life and now my job prospects. I wanted to cut myself after arguing with my mother but after talking to someone online via an app yesterday, I remembered what they said and stopped myself. I still hurt myself afterwards in the shower, punching the walls because I felt angry, frustrated.

Many people would love the opportunity I have tomorrow, an interview and possibly a job, but I don't want this job. I am stressing enough about my family and my marriage without having to worry about serving customers.

I have found out they will be interviewing 6 people for 5 positions so I have a 99% chance of getting this job. My aunt has said this is my best chance of getting a job so I should not mess up the interview.
My aunt who has also helped me prepare for my interview, said if I don't get this job, there is no hope for me, what am I going to do for a job. Comments like that don't help. I already feel worthless, a failure.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you sure it involves serving customers?

    It seems silly not to at least find out more about the job - getting a job would be a good step towards getting independence.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I asked my cousin what the job role is and she told me I will be stacking shelves and they will train the 5 people on the tills for when it gets busy. I can't talk to people without my face going red. Serving customers also means interacting with them, smiling, etc. I don't have the confidence to talk to people.

    It would be a good opportunity towards being independent. The money could be useful if I intend to leave home within the next few months. That is the only positive about maybe getting the job.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know it would be baptism by fire but you can't hide behind you're anxiety, you need to work towards being able to control it. It would give you practice with people so that you don't go red in the face. Have you ever thought about why you feel like that? What do you feel will happen?
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't why my face goes red. I guess I have always been a shy person, not talking to relatives when they visit but my confidence improved when I went to college a few years back.

    The interview was great. The lady interviewing was nice as well. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I will hear back in a few days if I have been successful. I have worked in warehouses before but working in customer service is a different thing. The lady asked me if I would like to work on the tills and I said, I will have to get used to it at some point. It would help me overcome my shyness. She knew I was shy but said I have a nice smile, which helps as you have to interact with customers in the job. So far so good, just hope I get the job now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yay :) Thats great news and well done for being honest with her its not easy, hopefully its good news but even if it isnt like you said 'It wasn't as bad as you thought it would be'.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi SuperWoman22, you should be proud of urself that u went to the job interview in the first place and stuck it out. Sometimes in life u have to do things u don't like to do so for u to of changed it around that quickly is a really good move so well done you. If u feel like the interview went well as u said then u won't need to worry if u messed up cuz it sounds like to me it went alright considering u was nerves and shy. Hopefully u will get this job and at the end of the day it's not for ever so ur mum is right about u needing to start somewhere. Remember that a job is hard enough to get so for ur mum knowing that ur cousin works there and there's more then one position going shows that u stand a really good chance. I have a good feeling that u will get this job but I'm not only saying that to make u feel better. Please tell us wether u got ot or not. Thank you :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you had any feedback from the job SuperWoman?

    I have the same problem as you. I wouldn't feel comfortable working on the till either. I'm also shy but I don't 'go red in the face' lol.

    I get where you're coming from that it isn't a job you want, but with it being difficult to find a job that you REALLY want it's best to frind crappy jobs first and look for something else. You'll have something to add to your CV. At least you won't be on the dole getting crappy money each week instead of a proper wage! Just be thankfull that you got an interview :)

    I've been out of work for 7 months now and I'm applying for administration jobs, even though I don't want to work behind a desk. I even have the qualification.

    Providing you get the job, after a few or more weeks, begin to look for better work. Even obtaining new qualifications in the field where you want to work wouldn't be such a bad idea.

    Good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hard enough finding work as it is. They want experience but u need the experience to get the job. There's much else u can do. You have do jobs u don't like but that's life. Have to work from the bottom to the top so u can get what u want but it won't be an easy ride.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^^^^ This
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ??
  • Cat88Cat88 Posts: 377 Cool Newbie
    Hi SuperWoman :) I know we're all itching to hear back from you, but whatever the result I just wanted to say congratulations on overcoming your worries and giving it a go - I feel like this was a big step ! Hopefully it will help you a lot :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi everyone,

    I'm sorry I have not been in touch and replied back earlier. Laptop has been repaired but still doesn't function properly. It is hard replying via iPhone.

    Thank you for your support everyone, I appreciate it, including you Crazykiss.

    SpinTires, I guess it is better to find a crappy job first and then find something better afterwards. It is better than being on the dole, something I would rather not do :no: :)

    I guess having something on your CV, a bit of experience won't hurt, even it is a job you hate :)

    SpinTires, it seems like you don't like my future career, working in a office :-). Which admin qualification do you have? I am thinking of going back to college to study OCR level 2 in administration and if possible find a job while I study. The retail job could be useful.

    After the interview, I felt a little more confident, thinking I could maybe find a job in retail if need be.

    New update: Just found out the lady who interviewed me is off work for a few days, probably a little holiday and should be back next week.

    Thank you again for your support.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi everyone,

    I'm sorry I have not been in touch and replied back earlier. Laptop has been repaired but still doesn't function properly. It is hard replying via iPhone.

    Thank you for your support everyone, I appreciate it, including you Crazykiss.

    SpinTires, I guess it is better to find a crappy job first and then find something better afterwards. It is better than being on the dole, something I would rather not do :no: :)

    I guess having something on your CV, a bit of experience won't hurt, even it is a job you hate :)

    SpinTires, it seems like you don't like my future career, working in a office :-). Which admin qualification do you have? I am thinking of going back to college to study OCR level 2 in administration and if possible find a job while I study. The retail job could be useful.

    After the interview, I felt a little more confident, thinking I could maybe find a job in retail if need be.

    New update: Just found out the lady who interviewed me is off work for a few days, probably a little holiday and should be back next week.

    Thank you again for your support.

    Nope I'd rather be outside than being indoors all the time, but I have been applying for jobs working in an office.
    I have an NVQ2 Business Secretarial Administration Skills qualification. It was full time study for one year with some work experience. I remember one of the people SHOUTING at me because I wasn't comfortable talking to people on the phone. And I'm still the same now.

    I hate being on the dole. :'(
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi everyone,

    Still no news about the job. Also found out yesterday that in the end 12 people were interviewed for 5 jobs.

    SpinTires, that is one problem I have, talking on the phone, but it is when people are around me. I feel like they will judge me for how I speak, even when I pick up the phone at home. How do you cope?

    With your qualification and work experience, you have a better chance than me to get an office job. Have you thought of volunteering?
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi everyone,

    Still no news about the job. Also found out yesterday that in the end 12 people were interviewed for 5 jobs.

    SpinTires, that is one problem I have, talking on the phone, but it is when people are around me. I feel like they will judge me for how I speak, even when I pick up the phone at home. How do you cope?

    With your qualification and work experience, you have a better chance than me to get an office job. Have you thought of volunteering?

    I applied for a job to work as an office and boatyard assistant, but I was unsuccessful. I've also wrote some letters to a few companies, but one of them had said they don't have any jobs.

    My parents think I should go on a typing course and get a qualification, but I don't think there's any point in it. I can type reasonably fast and I don't want a qualification to tell me that I can.

    I'm 30 years old and I still don't cope. I've always been shy. I think most companies want to employ young ones instead of old 'uns like me. I'm looking for jobs where I don't have to use the phone. But if it looks like a good job which hast telephone work involved, then I would apply for it.

    I would never do any volunteering. I'm losing a lot of money since not working and I'm worried about the future. I should be putting money into my savings and after buying a car back in May last year, I haven't been putting any in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh no thats not good! Fingers crossed that u get one of the positions SuperWoman. Whatever the outcome, u know u could only do ur best. How do u think it went? There any questions u found difficult to answer? Let us wether u have a job there or not. Won't judge u of anything.

    It's a confidence I think. You don't know untill u try at it. Yh I can understand there qualifications and experience are a big thing to the employer but if they thought u didn't have any then they wouldn't of interviewed for that type of job. Do u know what I mean?

    Feel happy that u went to the interview at the end of the day and u gave a shot at it. Don't beat urself up as I bet u did great. Believe I'm urself a bit more :)

    Look forward to hearing from u soon.

    Crazykiss x
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SpinTires, 30 years of age is not old. With your qualifications and fast typing, I would hire you in a heartbeat. No doubt about that :thumb: I hope you find work soon :)

    Crazykiss, the interview itself was good. I didn't have any trouble answering the questions, I was just honest. I was just given an interview like the other relatives that were interviewed. Yep, I was actually glad I went to the interview and gave it my best.

    I will let you know when I get any news.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Superwoman :) xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuperWoman is right Spintrees, u are 30 and yh u can think that the job market only want to employ people who are in their 20s but why does that stop u from applying for work? There maybe a certain pertain they are looking for though we only know untill we try and that can determine what jobs we apply for. Carry on what u do best and go for it before it's too late.

    SuperWoman that's great to hear! If u didn't go for that interview u wouldn't of ever known if u would of been fine or not but we can only try and push ourselves the the best and it's certainly true that u did that. You did all the right things by what it looks like but whatever happens u couldn't do no more. Good Luck and thank you for telling us.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have I said anything that I'm not looking for work?

    FYI I look every day on the job websites I'm on !!!! I hate being at home all the time. I went fishing for most of the day on wednesday because I was that bored!

    A rec agency rang me up on that day but couldn't get hold of me. I rang them 4 times and once yesterday but all I got was an answering machine. I received a phone call today and they said they would pass my CV on to their consultants. Just waiting to hear back from them.
    The hours on the job is either 6am-2pm or 2am-10pm. Not really sure about it tbh. I'd rather do a normal days work. I'll have to think about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry I must of got u mixed up with someone else. I'm sorry and I never ment anything by it. Your right I'm sorry but one thing I would say that I cant stand rudeness and people make mistakes so I'm sorry that I got it wrong though there's no need to be like that with someone.

    I bet u are doing everything u can by looking for work and that's good to hear although if it applying for agency work and those are the set hours u will do either the early day time one or night time one maybe difficult if say u got any other plans with college course or another job and if any of them u are doing then it's proberly best that u don't go for it.

    Looking for work is hard enough so u shouldn't be fussy and apply for anything u can get but sometimes it depends on the contract. I wouldn't recommend agency work myself but I have someone I know who does and that's up to them if that's what they wanna do but for me I think it will be a waste of time. You could always look for opportunities out and about in it local town and see if they are looking for anyone, be good to look around and see or applying for jobs u know are likely to have postions going there really soon is another good idea.

    What it doing is good and u shouldn't stop with what it doing cuz it doing all the right things but I would maybe expand it job opportunities first then see how that goes.

    Hope that helps :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Honorary Guru Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crazykiss wrote: »
    I'm sorry I must of got u mixed up with someone else. I'm sorry and I never ment anything by it. Your right I'm sorry but one thing I would say that I cant stand rudeness and people make mistakes so I'm sorry that I got it wrong though there's no need to be like that with someone.

    I bet u are doing everything u can by looking for work and that's good to hear although if it applying for agency work and those are the set hours u will do either the early day time one or night time one maybe difficult if say u got any other plans with college course or another job and if any of them u are doing then it's proberly best that u don't go for it.

    Looking for work is hard enough so u shouldn't be fussy and apply for anything u can get but sometimes it depends on the contract. I wouldn't recommend agency work myself but I have someone I know who does and that's up to them if that's what they wanna do but for me I think it will be a waste of time. You could always look for opportunities out and about in it local town and see if they are looking for anyone, be good to look around and see or applying for jobs u know are likely to have postions going there really soon is another good idea.

    What it doing is good and u shouldn't stop with what it doing cuz it doing all the right things but I would maybe expand it job opportunities first then see how that goes.

    Hope that helps :).

    Stop apologizing! lol

    To be honest I personally don't want to go through an agency. I'd rather apply through the main employer.
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