Protectiveness(?) over your partner

Former Member

We all get protective over those we care about, that doesn't really need saying. But how far does that go for you? When does naturally feeling protective become controlling? Discuss... :chin:

plugitin

When you actually intervene on something. e.g. lass is going out to do something that could damage her knee. Saying be careful and letting her do it is one thing, going OTT would be saying no you shouldn't do that. Basically interfering with free will, I'd say.

Former Member

Hmm, well said. What if that person's judgement is clouded?

plugitin

I say people should be allowed to make their own mistakes. If you try to restrain them, they'll see it like a bull to a red flag and probably go at it with more gusto. Carrying on with my previous example, I'd probably say something like 'oh but please do be careful and have fun, I'm worried'.

I won't like what she's doing but I know I have absolutely no right to control anyone. That doesn't mean I love her any less at all, but each person is responsible for themselves.

Former Member

Wise words there, Kate.

Former Member

Being protective over friends on a night out by making sure they stand by u and they tell u where their going etc. I remember I was very protective over my old friends and with me so I can understand why ur like that with the people ur close to. Family aswell is another one. You can only try the best u can to do everything right in the book and make sure they are ok and safe. At the end of the day they are the oneswho are undercontrol.

Former Member

That good advice Or??