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Losing your virginity "too young" or "too old"?
Danny!
Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
There have been a few news stories recently about young people waiting to have sex for the first time. This story in the Guardian is about an 18 year old who has expressed his pride in being a virgin very publicly. What do you think to this story?
I often find boys and girls have really different emotions around the age and situation in which they lost their virginity (or gave it away? Or chose to no longer have it?).
If you have popped your cherry: how do you feel about when you first had sex? (Does it make you proud, or embarrassed, or confident, or regretful … ?) What do you feel it says about you to others?
If you haven’t had sex yet: is that important to you? Do you see it as positive or negative (or both)? How do you think others see your choice?
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Erm nothing? Because I don't wear a detailed plaque (of when I first had sex, or who with, how many etc) around my neck.
I mean, my first time is probably the only thing in my life I would truly regret (if I could be arsed with such things), but I wouldn't change it, really. I regret the hurt it caused others much more than the act itself.
It was also nothing monumental. I was on a bean bag in his living room with crappy pop-rock on the tv. I can't remember how long it lasted, I remember it hurt and I was sore for a bit, but it wasn't anything spectacular. I doubt that would have changed if I'd waited.
It's uncomfortable and never that great - so I don't think it's worth giving yourself a hard time over it. Im sorry that other people have had some trouble and some regrets over it. It's an experience and like all experiences they can be both good and bad, but we learn from them either way.
Totally agree with Annaarrr!! here. It's surprising hearing someone lose it so early (and I guess, so late), but that doesn't say anything about that person necessarily. Probably just our judgement of that person and what we've been conditioned to think. I do think it's important to make the other person someone you trust, though. Even though the experience itself doesn't stand for anything, it's a good idea to make the best of it. I'm glad I waited for someone I trust more than anyone - there's no getting away from the fact that its a very personal thing.
And yet
So that's a bit odd.
pretty much
Yea same here. When I got into 9th grade (15 years old) we got mixed with a new class. To get to know out colleagues better, we all sat in a circle and asked Yes/No questions to the group and if your answer to this question was "Yes" you had to get up and switch seats. The class clown of course asked "Who is a virgin?" After people got up he - too late of course - jokingly added "in the star sign" (it is semantically sound in German). By then a couple people switched places and I asked my new sitting neighbor (a hottish girl) in disbelief, "you already had sex?!??!" and she was just like, "yea."
Little did I know I'd had my first time sex within the same school year and did not feel more like a "man" or whatever afterwards. It was no achievement. I did not talk about it to friends, not because I was ashamed or whatever, but because it was a non-issue for me.
This made me think, although there's a general feeling here that we shouldn't worry about what age we first have sex, there are often limits somewhere. Most of us would be fairly shocked by 10 or 11 years old, and 40 years old is apparently shocking enough to spawn a (not particularly good) film!
But then depending on your own experiences and upbringing; the age limits on either end, and how we value those numbers, can vary a lot.
So even if you don't judge the other person, then the age they chose could contribute to a certain impression of someone?
Hi Crazy kiss, nice to meet you
I'm sorry you went through that
thanks
yeah, ive turned a lot around since then, including moving to another area, like for a fresh start ... but i agree with crazykiss, they need to teach more about it in schools, teachers tell you everything about sex, even the not so pleasent stuff haha, but at school we never got told about virgins, or that once you have sex your not a virgin anymore, in primary the only time i had heard virgin was in the christmas story!
There should of been more teaching about this subject in secondary schools then just primary schools. Must kids would think about it after they had finished and still wouldn't know what a this is used for and what that does etc. More education needs to be done to tackle this.
Its good that u do try to avoid having sex under age and most people that age do want to experiment but again more teaching needs to be done and they may not really be ready as they are nerves etc. So this problem can be sorted out and lower the number in teenage pregnancy.
I know everyone has done it at different times of there life and u can't go back in time as things happen for a reason but if we thought about ways to look into the growing population then we would of hopefully had not made the nhs to waste more money in teenagers wanting abortions. That's what I'm taken by in my opinion.
Haha, that's probably the most misleading story about virginity I know!