Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

Feeling Low

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, I don't know what to do about my mood. Every time something good happens I end up ruining it by saying something stupid in the spare of the moment or being hard on myself. Does effect my social life when meeting people especially guys who like to get to know me but how do I stop feeling the way I do and make a go with a relationship?

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey there :wave:

    Im sorry to hear you are feeling low about yourself. :( Sometimes we are our own harshest critic and it's good to try and keep in mind, that everyone does and says things they don't mean, or says something silly. We can't get it right all the time. It could be that you are nervous and that your nerves get the better of you?

    It's very easy to say, but try not to judge yourself too harshly. Perhaps you might try to t to build up your confidence, so when you are in a social situation or talking to guys, you feel a bit more comfortable and relaxed. It's sort of a vicious circle, worrying about saying something stupid, will make you anxious and much more likely to say something silly. This article might help you: http://www.thesite.org/mental-health/body-image-and-self-esteem/building-self-esteem-5940.html

    It could be that once your confidence is up, you are might feel much braver in a conversation and less worried about tripping up and making a mistake. Remember meeting new people can be nerve-wracking and awkward, and that the other person will probably be feeling just as anxious about how they come across to you too. You could perhaps try working on your self-confidence in the meantime, and see how that works out for you in social situations.

    I hope I've helped a little bit, good luck and let us know how you get on :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for ur advice, I really do appreciate it. I am fairly confident in big groups now but better one to one however when speaking to guys I can get a bit nerves and don't want to say the wrong thing. I understand they get as nerves as us girls do but girls show it more and if a guy gets it wrong we can think it's funny and not take it personally. Proberly is a nerves thing and once I get that in check then I will feel extra confident enough to say whatever I feel is on my mind and ur right by saying not to be hard on myself and I do that a lot. I dont want anyone to judge me on first impressions. I had something like that happen to me when I was out on the town one weekend and didn't feel like I was given a chance to tell them a bit about myself. Thats half of it why I feel like this but I managed to sort it out with my friend. I don't know why I was being judged that quickly. I didn't do anything or said anything horrible. Atleast it's been sorted out now.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're very welcome *hug*

    It's like that sometimes in big groups isn't it? I feel the same to be honest, especially if there are some big personalities, and you can feel like everyone is listening to you if it ever goes quiet, which I struggle with - so don't feel like it's just you that feels like this.

    Everyone gets nervous especially if they aren't comfortable talking to a guy if they are a girl, or the other way round. I'm sure that you will get your confidence level up, perhaps you could have a go at practicing talking to guys, and maybe you might find that the more times you do it, the less you find it bothers you or makes you less nervous than you thought? I think that's an amazing idea about being honest and saying to the other person 'sorry, I'm really nervous right now...' the other person may really appreciate your honesty and try that extra bit more to make you feel comfortable, so could be worth a try?

    I'm sorry to hear you felt like you were judged too quickly - sometimes people can get the wrong end of the stick, or jump to the wrong conclusions, but I'm really pleased that you worked it out with them :yippe: that's a brilliant thing to do, so you should be really proud of yourself! :)

    :wave:
Sign In or Register to comment.