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Desperate for someone to love me

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've never had a boyfriend and dont think I ever will. Guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

I see all my friends with their boyfriend/girlfriend and i just get so jealous. Why can't someone love me like that :(

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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Firstly have a *hug*

    This sounds very upsetting for you. I guess it's important to not compare yourself to others though, I know this may be really difficult.

    I know having a boyfriend means a lot to you, and you say you will never have one, but I guess it's about not thinking too much about what you don't have and think about what you do have. I know this may be difficult for you. I am sure you are loved, just because you are single.

    I wish I knew what to say to help you, sorry if my reply doesn't help.

    Hope you are okay
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry, I understand its quite hard to reply to this thread. But I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest

    I'm not loved at all. I'm in care because my parents hated me (they abused me) and there's one carer here who I adore. She's been like a mother to me since I first came but she isn't allowed to get into 'relationships' like this

    #ForeverAlone

    Sent from my HTC Desire C using Tapatalk
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    *hug*

    Well we love having you on here, and we care about you. I know it isn't the same as in person but it still counts :heart:

    Sorry to hear that you are in care, and what happened to you by your parents. Do you have support in place to deal with the feelings of what happened to you?

    It sounds very difficult, I guess in a way it is good that you have somebody who is like a mother figure to you and somebody you get along with really well, but then you have to deal with the fact she is only a carer, that must be very difficult for you.
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love being part of this community, its great. Especially live chats.

    I see a counsellor but she doesn't really support me with what's gone on because I ask her not to. Stupid I know.

    Yeah its incredibly hard knowing she can't actually be like a mother to me, no matter how much I want it

    Sent from my HTC Desire C using Tapatalk
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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Hey, I was just wondering about what things you've tried to find a relationship - which it sounds like is important to you - and if there are other things you could try?

    I would say don't rush it - being single is a lot better than being in a bad relationship, and friends can fill a lot of the holes that a relationship does.

    Finding a boyfriend starts with meeting people - the more the better! Are there places that you haven't tried? There's a list of ideas on this article from TheSite "Where to pull".

    It can also be helpful to think about where the stop in the process is - is it meeting people in the first place you're finding hard? Or taking things further?

    It's great your finding being part of this community helpful :)
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    i know what it's like ... i dont have anyone to love me ... but does that matter? It's made me who i am ... a heartless bitch :P but not everythings about love :)
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Danny! wrote: »
    Hey, I was just wondering about what things you've tried to find a relationship - which it sounds like is important to you - and if there are other things you could try?

    I would say don't rush it - being single is a lot better than being in a bad relationship, and friends can fill a lot of the holes that a relationship does.

    Finding a boyfriend starts with meeting people - the more the better! Are there places that you haven't tried? There's a list of ideas on this article from TheSite "Where to pull".

    It can also be helpful to think about where the stop in the process is - is it meeting people in the first place you're finding hard? Or taking things further?

    It's great your finding being part of this community helpful :)

    If I'm really honest, I haven't tried anything because I'm too shy. Plus I know no one likes me because I'm too ugly

    I don't know, I guess I'm just being daft

    Sent from my HTC Desire C using Tapatalk
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know what it's like ... i dont have anyone to love me ... but does that matter? It's made me who i am ... a heartless bitch :P but not everythings about love :)

    It matters to me I'm affraid but I guess its the least of my worries at the minute...

    Sent from my HTC Desire C using Tapatalk
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BeckiBoo wrote: »
    If I'm really honest, I haven't tried anything because I'm too shy. Plus I know no one likes me because I'm too ugly

    I don't know, I guess I'm just being daft

    Maybe you should do something if you want a boyfriend, like meet up with boys, talk to boys or do anything to socialize. There is really not much point about sulking that you cannot get x if you do nothing to achieve it. It's like complaining that I cannot go on vacation, because I have no money, but every month I blow all my leftover money on gambling and hookers.

    The ugliness thing is nothing I can really comment about, because I don't know if you are really ugly, or just think you are ugly. In either case, there are ways to help. Either by, for example working out, or by building confidence. Ideally you do both. Honestly, if a girl insists on being ugly when I think and tell her she is pretty to me, then I am very quickly turned off by her. Maybe it is just me, but I find it impossible to love people who hate themselves. If you really want something, you should work towards it. Santa is not going to bring you a boyfriend for Christmas.
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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    BeckiBoo wrote: »
    If I'm really honest, I haven't tried anything because I'm too shy. Plus I know no one likes me because I'm too ugly

    I don't know, I guess I'm just being daft

    Sent from my HTC Desire C using Tapatalk

    Sorry you're feeling like that :( I know it's really hard to meet people when you're feeling shy. But it can be a vicious circle - you'll never realise how well you can get on with some people if you don't force yourself to take the chance. Being shy isn't necessarily a bad thing - some people find it really appealing. But it is important to find enough confidence to meet people in the first place.

    How about taking some little steps? Maybe if you don't focus on finding a boyfriend at the moment, but just on some stepping stones. You could try starting casual chats with people you don't know that you come across in your everyday life (they can be about anything - a comment on where you are, something that happened today, a joke, or the weather). Or start something new (like a class or a sports or arts group) that might get you around more people who you share interests with?

    There's a "boost your pulling confidence" article here that might be useful. It says that "Attractiveness is very much in the eye of the beholder". That really is true. We all have different tastes, and we can always find people attracted to us if we're able to see it. It does sound like you could work on your confidence though - maybe spending a bit of time working on what you could change that would make you feel more confident would help? This interactive self-esteem test asks you some questions (it's confidential), and then comes back with some suggestions to help boost self-esteem - it might be worth a look.

    I also wondered if you tried online dating? We have a really good set of vlogs on TheSite about it. You come across really well on here - so that seems a route worth exploring?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, there’s been so much great advice already!

    I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way :(
    I was wondering if you’ve met anyone that you’d want to be in a relationship with before. Or thought about the qualities you look for in a guy.

    I think that being single is much better than being in unhappy relationship. Maybe you could consider trying new things?
    The more people you may meet the more chance there is of maybe meeting ‘the one’
    It could perhaps make you feel better if you don’t focus on not having one.

    Until then maybe you could try enjoy the process of searching for ‘the one’
    It might be great fun! :)
    It could perhaps make you feel better not focusing on it too much. Maybe focusing on something that makes you smile instead? (for me that would be sweets :hyper:)

    Hope this helps :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry to hear that.

    I know from experience that it's hard when you see your friends in relationships and think about how wonderful it could be.

    You need to work on your confidence instead. Otherwise when the time comes for you to be in a relationship you'll rely on that person to make you feel good about yourself and you'll become very needy. Confidence will draw people in like a magnet.

    Another thing is that the right guy could be there but you don't see him. Maybe a guy friend could like you but you've never considered dating that person.

    Make new friends and perhaps a friend could like you and eventually fall in love with you! But please be confident with yourself first and that will set you up for a loving relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All you need is love, love is all you need. (Beetles)

    Out of all the people I have liked in my life Becki I'm glad I never dated 90% of them. There have been a few I regret not dating and I have never met anyone in clubs or bars. One of them was fate (about 1 in a billion chance of meeting her in the time and place that I did), another I did not expect it and let her get away. Lastly, someone that lives in my city and I only know her by sight....so hopefully I will see her again.

    You will not get many chances, believe me x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BeckiBoo wrote: »
    I've never had a boyfriend and dont think I ever will. Guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

    I see all my friends with their boyfriend/girlfriend and i just get so jealous. Why can't someone love me like that :(

    I know the feeling BeckiBoo. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 30years old and never had a girlfriend.

    Ok, I've met a lass 100 miles away once and I had a fling with a different lass closer to home, but not a serious relationship.

    I hate being single. And all my mates either has a partner or has kids and I feel left out. And I'm also shy.

    If you're looking for someone try stopping to look and let them find you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there. I can understand how ur feeling by not feeling that your loved by anyone but I bet that's not true! Everyone is loved by someone no matter who they are . I think u need to believe in urself a bit more and know ur no different them anyone else. It's fine that ur going through a hard time but let that define u as a person. You have lovely people on here including me who think ur a lovely girl and hasn't yet had their time to shine as I believe everyone does. I know it's hard that I have friends who all have bfs and I went through the same patch as u have two. So ur not the only one who has felt like this or going through what u are going through. The best advice I can give u is be urself and believe in urself as that's the first step, the second step is to take up a hobby or something that ur interested in doing which could be music, art, sport or dancing and that way u can get to know a range of people without lacking in ur social life. You can find our more about taking up a club in ur local area by visting DoIT.ORG.UK where u will find advice and support of local clubs happening in your area and giving back to ur community or u can visit Connexions website and finding out more about taking up a hobby with support and advice. You can either speak to a connections advicer or pop into ur local branch to find out more but u will have to go on the website to find out those details ahead. Spending time with friends and love ones will make u feel better in urself which is always good for ur self esteem. Would also be a good idea if u could speak to someone about how ur feeling. They will not judge or tell u what to do. They will only listen and support u which I feel u may need at this moment of time. The Samaritans are good in providing a free service which will be there for u anytime of the day 24/7 when u need it must who will listen to u and will know how u feel. You can find out more by visiting their site. I kI know once u have an idea on what to do, there won't be no stopping u in finding happiness. Either joking a club or taking up a hobby is good, spending time with friends and friends will help with self esteem and just getting the chance in meeting people and building back up on ur social life is always good for confidence and believing in urself that there's nothing wrong with u and ur the same as ebeyone else. I hope I have helped in someway in giving u a bit of reassurance on what's on ur mind and wether u need someone to chat or listen to u have me. Good Luck and all the best. Remember to check out those sites I have given u to find out more about clubs and groups in ur local area. Been a pleasure in talking to u and talk soon. Night :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SpinTires wrote: »
    I know the feeling BeckiBoo. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 30years old and never had a girlfriend.

    Ok, I've met a lass 100 miles away once and I had a fling with a different lass closer to home, but not a serious relationship.

    I hate being single. And all my mates either has a partner or has kids and I feel left out. And I'm also shy.

    If you're looking for someone try stopping to look and let them find you.

    But of course I'm not bothered about it. Just want to make that clear
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