Hospital results, feeling emotional.

Former Member

I've just come back from the hospital just now and I feel really emotional, I burst straight into tears after my friend left and I don't know what to do, I look through my phonebook and there's no one I'm close enough to who I can talk to, no one understands.

My friend who took me is a really close friend well has been but today he was really distant and was on his phone half the time and I kept saying how nervous and scared I was but he didn't do anything, I didn't want much I just wanted someone to say it's okay I'm here, your not on your own, some reassurance of any kind but I didn't get any and I depsretly needed it today and still do

The hospital neurologist spoke to me and examined me and referred me straight to cardiology as he thinks it's do with my heart which is good that they are referring me and I know what it's to do with but it's scary too as it could be serious, I don't know.

I'm just so scared and feel so low now.

James

Hey StarWonder,

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling scared and low. After so long going in and out of hospitals, it must be frustrating and scary still not having many answers. As you pointed out though, being referred to cardiology is progress! Hopefully you'll have answers soon.

Often, when we're going through something that intense and drawn-out, it can be difficult for the people around us to know what to say. You said that no-one understands. That could be true; unless they've had a similar experience, it's hard for them to know what you're feeling.

It's really positive that you know what you want. You said you'd just like some reassurance, someone to say they're there for you. Maybe letting your friend know what you need would help them support you better, as you've done here?

So thanks for letting us know what you'd like. We are here, and we will listen (/read!)
Keep us posted!

Former Member

Hey JPick,

Thank you so much for your message back, I really appreciate it.

I feel a bit stronger about it all today, guess it's just having time to let it settle down and take it all in. I am very glad that progress is being made and they are on the path to a diagnosis, it's just frightening when I sit and think about it, as in there could be something quite seriously wrong with my heart and I've battled through a lot of illness, procedures and surgery throughout my life and I thought I got through the worst of it after last year but seems not and we are worried the medication I'm on for my other medical problems could be causing my heart problems and whether it could have done damage, fingers crossed that it's not.

It's also hard because it's disabling me so much that I am wheelchair bound especially with any long distance and reliant on other people though if I could do it all myself I would, I think that's what is hard as well as I have coped on my own most of my life, learnt to get by on my own and just push through things and I've got so used to being let down and used that the only person I completely trust is myself and I do have a good group of friends, I've only known them a couple of months as I moved to a new area, to a new flat last year and they are great friends but it takes a lot for me to trust people and sometimes I don't think they understand that and I've gone through a lot in my life just to be here today and I am vulnerable not just physically but emotionally too and I'm a tough cookie me and I put a brave face on everything but it's hard underneath too, you know?

Thank you for listening and understanding,
Hope your okay