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What annoys you about other people’s relationships?

Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
Hi everyone, I’ve been quite busy working on the new benefits content for TheSite (which should be up this month), and now that’s done I’m going to be around the sex & relationships section of the boards a lot more.

I was with some friends at the weekend and one was complaining (to put it politely!) about when couples talk about the other one all the time as if they’re the only person in the world. And we got chatting about what annoys us all about other people’s relationships. It was interesting (funny too :)), so I wanted to carry on here. What really annoys you about the way other people act in relationships?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Got to agree with when couples talk about the other person all of the time.

    I don't know if this counts, but I hate it when a friend gets a boyfriend and she's like 'oh, bye friends, now I'll act like you never existed in my world'.
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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    It gets to a point of frustration when their always on about them, and being romantic when people are around socializing with them, and pretty much just making a world of their own. I find it rather frustrating when I see couples like that, (Also makes me feel lonely, haha)!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Their existence in my field of view.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When people abandon you and your plans because their other half will be over.

    Also not being able to see their downsides because theyre so in love and 'are nice most of the time'
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    If it's a good relationship, nothing that I can think of. If it isn't, both parties.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Got to agree with when couples talk about the other person all of the time.

    I don't know if this counts, but I hate it when a friend gets a boyfriend and she's like 'oh, bye friends, now I'll act like you never existed in my world'.

    Yeah this, all my friends seem to do this. I give up bothering anymore, I've made new friends - they'll have no one when its over.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Their existence in my field of view.

    Quite.

    Tbh, I don't mind people gushing, although it does make me jealous. I do mind seriously overt PDAs and I do mind being ignored when I'm out with one and they're talking to the other the whole time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When your best friend gets a boyfriend and totally forget about you and your plans. Also, I don't have anything against PDAs but I do hate it when they're at it for about 20 minutes and your trying to have a conversation....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When one makes decisions for the other one.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When one person obviously controls the relationship and the other person just let's themselves be walked all over - I know it's often a case of low self esteem on both parts often but it's horrible to see and annoying when everyone else can see it but they can't. I also hate it when people start saying to their friend - you're being controlled/manipulated/whatever and they then turn it around to be the friend's fault. It's a difficult position but I've had to step away from friends like that until they realise their own mistakes
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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Thanks for your replies everyone. It sounds like lots of you find it annoying when it feels like a couple create their own little two-person world and forget everyone else outside of it!

    jealous_fish_600x369.jpg

    Do you think this is a stage most couples go through at the beginning? Would you be different in that situation?

    And for you, does it depend on your relationship situation whether you find it annoying or not?
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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    When one person obviously controls the relationship and the other person just let's themselves be walked all over - I know it's often a case of low self esteem on both parts often but it's horrible to see and annoying when everyone else can see it but they can't. I also hate it when people start saying to their friend - you're being controlled/manipulated/whatever and they then turn it around to be the friend's fault. It's a difficult position but I've had to step away from friends like that until they realise their own mistakes

    Miss_Riot, it sounds like you've gone through having to try and tell a friend that their relationship isn't right for them the way it is, and finding that they weren't ready to really hear you.

    It can be that trying and then stepping back if it doesn't work is all you can do. Sometimes you can sow the seed of a realisation that they will come to over time if their relationship doesn't improve.

    I know it's difficult, but would you say it was worth trying even though it didn't seem to work at the time?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was sometime ago and I could see why my friend was hanging on to the relationship because she needed security after her father dying but yeah I did have to step back and unfortunately watch it get worse before she got out, but as a friend it is so hard doing that and watching your friend go through hell.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    When one person obviously controls the relationship and the other person just let's themselves be walked all over - I know it's often a case of low self esteem on both parts often but it's horrible to see and annoying when everyone else can see it but they can't.

    After a few things that were said / happened, I was really concerned this would happen to me. Thankfully, after a discussion with a few people and doing some thinking, I'd decided that this relationship wasn't for me. After what other people said to me, it sounds like the sensible decision.

    People who just go on and on all the time that they're with someone. If they say it in passing, fine. But it does get annoying after a while when that's all they talk about.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Couples who live in each others pockets. Couples who constantly post couple selfies to facebook and talk about each other all the time. OTT public displays of affection. Basically couples that just don't haves lives outside of each other.
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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Melian wrote: »
    After a few things that were said / happened, I was really concerned this would happen to me. Thankfully, after a discussion with a few people and doing some thinking, I'd decided that this relationship wasn't for me. After what other people said to me, it sounds like the sensible decision.

    It's good to hear that input from friends can be really positive and help you to see that a situation isn't right for you. Maybe whether it works or not depends on how open you are to hearing it?
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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Reading through these posts, I thought it might be helpful to add a bit of an overall summary.

    In some cases, other people’s relationships can be annoying because their behaviour directly affects you. For example, it can be really annoying if you have a friend that you enjoy spending time with, and suddenly they seem to want to spend all their time with their boyfriend/girlfriend.

    In other cases, other people’s relationships can be annoying because what you see of them can feeling like rubbing your face in what you don’t have. Sometimes what annoys us can be because of what we envy in other people’s relationships.

    Relationships vary a lot, and how we see other people’s relationships can teach us a lot about what we want out of life. For example, seeing a lot of public affection from a couple for example can make it appear that they have a closeness and intimacy that we might feel that we’re missing. We often don’t know what’s happening the rest of the time though, and there might be a lot of the relationship that isn’t so appealing!

    So next time a couple annoys you, have a think about why in particular they annoy you. That’s not to say that you’re wrong to be annoyed – they might be a very annoying couple! And you’re entitled to your feelings. But there’s never any harm in understanding your own feelings further.
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