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I need help desperately, triggering..
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, I am new to this forum and people seem to be receiving a lot of advice so I decided to make an account and maybe someone can help me.
I am a sufferer of mental health, I have Borderline Personality Disorder, depression, panic disorder, anxiety and an eating disorder. Quite a lot I know. I have been suffering for about 8 years but as I have become older things have become a lot worse and right now I am coming to an end of it all, I feel hopeless.
I'll try keep this all short. I saw a counsellor for two years that then said she didn't want to see me again cos my condition is too complex for her, then I was referred to another place that say "you are not sick enough for our services" so basically I am receiving no help. No matter how much I ask or try or plead I never seem to get any. I am on a waiting list for therapy but they have stated it can take a while.
I am self harming, I have been for years but I have relapsed badly. I overdose regularly and at times I have been hospitalised. I abuse prescription drugs to numb the pain of everything. I am so unhappy and I can't express how much I want to kill myself. I hate my job, my life, myself and everything. I am depressed and I just want everything to disappear and I believe things would be better if I wasn't here as the pain would go.
What can I do? I feel like I need to commit suicide in order to get attention. Or overdose again badly. NOBODY wants to help me. I am LOST and I am in PAIN. I can't do this anymore and I don't know what else to do. It won't be long until I do something drastic as I can feel everything building up inside me every day.
Wow.. I don't think anyone will read this but I haven't spoken about how I feel for ages.
I am a sufferer of mental health, I have Borderline Personality Disorder, depression, panic disorder, anxiety and an eating disorder. Quite a lot I know. I have been suffering for about 8 years but as I have become older things have become a lot worse and right now I am coming to an end of it all, I feel hopeless.
I'll try keep this all short. I saw a counsellor for two years that then said she didn't want to see me again cos my condition is too complex for her, then I was referred to another place that say "you are not sick enough for our services" so basically I am receiving no help. No matter how much I ask or try or plead I never seem to get any. I am on a waiting list for therapy but they have stated it can take a while.
I am self harming, I have been for years but I have relapsed badly. I overdose regularly and at times I have been hospitalised. I abuse prescription drugs to numb the pain of everything. I am so unhappy and I can't express how much I want to kill myself. I hate my job, my life, myself and everything. I am depressed and I just want everything to disappear and I believe things would be better if I wasn't here as the pain would go.
What can I do? I feel like I need to commit suicide in order to get attention. Or overdose again badly. NOBODY wants to help me. I am LOST and I am in PAIN. I can't do this anymore and I don't know what else to do. It won't be long until I do something drastic as I can feel everything building up inside me every day.
Wow.. I don't think anyone will read this but I haven't spoken about how I feel for ages.
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Comments
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time at the moment. I know it can be difficult to keep fighting when you aren't getting much support. Do you know how long the therapy waiting list is?
One option is looking into whether your local MIND or mental health charities have any support groups? It isn't a lot usually but it is some support which is better than nothing. Also some MINDs will do free or cheap counselling.
Is there anything that you could do other than self harm that has helped in the past? Are the prescription drugs for your mental health? If so perhaps if you took them properly it might make things seem a bit better for you as they won't be working properly if you are abusing them.
Could you go to your local A&E for help? I know where I live you just to go to A&E (BEFORE doing anything self destructive) and see the crisis team if you are feeling suicidal and they can help make a plan of action with you and do emergency referrals to support.
Do you get on with your GP at all? Perhaps you could discuss with them how you are feeling also.
whats already been said are some great ideas and deffinetly about going to A&E if you need urgent help, they can help and offer imediate help which will be useful. Also the GP can help lots by seeing whats best to make the next step.
Its a great step posting on here because im sure people will be able to help, just remember the threads are here and people care and always happy to post back and keep up posted.
*hug*
F&R X
I agree with basically everything that is above.
I know the stress of people not wanting to help, I'm in that situation, but I've told myself if no one is going to help me, then I'll do it by myself and then no one can have ago at me if I relapse, or anything.
I suffer with similar to you, and I can sense your desperation for help, it's shocking how long waiting lists are, but also agree what MythicallyMindful said, have a look at MIND as they can offer help. Also there's helplines which WILL do all they can to help you.
If you do feel suicidal, please don't act on it - go to A&E and see the crisis worker there. It's safe for you, and you'll be listened to when you're there.
Stay safe,