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An odd case of depression

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all. I wonder if any of you could tell me what im experiencing because I cant figure it out.

So, it starts off later on near night and can happen any day. Its Christmas time now and despite me thinking it would fade away here and id be happy, it hasn't. I get butterflies in my stomach, and immediately get negative thoughts about a variety of things. This continues until it either disappears or I calm myself down by taking my mind off it and having good thoughts. When it is going on, i feel worthless, like the worst person ever and really bad/guilty for no rational reason. I think to myself it will carry on forever and ill never get it out of my mind, i often get very scared or worried. Then suddenly i calm down and think why the hell it gets to me. I say "there is nothing wrong with my life,they are just stupid thoughts, why do i even have them?".

Its like two sides of me, the scared worried one and the other more sensible and calm one. I read up about depression and it often says your grades might drop, you eat more/less, sleep more/less, reduced sex drive etc. but i feel none of this. In the day, im fine and normal but then i have these flashes of panic that soon fade away and seem silly to me. It is horrible whilst it is going on. Any ideas as to what this is or how to stop it

Im only a teenager and it makes me feel like im carrying some kind of burden, even if im not having a sudden moment of panic i permanently have bad thoughts and i feel like it is ruining my life.

I am sorry if this is a bit long, but i cant find a way to express how i feel without going in depth. Thank you in advance.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi RG - welcome to TheSite! :wave:

    I'm really sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time at the moment. Negative thinking can really get you down and effect you.

    Well done on reaching out. I know it can be really difficult and scary to put into words, but talking about what you're going through and how you're feeling is a really important first step to getting help to stop feeling that way.

    There are lots of things you can do to get help. You could think about visiting your GP to talk about what you're going through, who'll be able to tell you if it is depression or something else and recommend treatments.

    You mentioned you're a teenager, so you could call or email ChildLine. They've got trained counsellors who will listen and talk to you 1-2-1, completely confidentially.

    And of course, you can keep posting on here. We're here to listen and support you, and I'm sure the other users will give you loads of advice and coping techniques from their own experience.

    Most importantly, just remember you're not alone in feeling the way that you do. I know it can feel awful, all-consuming and isolating when you experience what you're feeling. But you're not the only one, and we'll all be here for you when you do.

    Hope that helps!

    Will @ TheSite.
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