Girlfriend and her dog....

Former Member

Hello,

I've been with my GF friend for 18 months and she's had her dog for 2 years now. Most things are fine in the relationship apart from my views towards her and her dog.

Let me break it down to you:

Don't get me wrong I love the dog but i'm not keen on giant sized dogs (dont like big dogs since a kid) so I tolerate him however I feel my GF is over caring towards a dog and it makes me worry and frustrated.

Heres a few things that worry/frustrate me:

1. Whenever my GF and I are on the sofa and hug/kiss or even play around the dog gets VERY jealous and starts growling, barking and even goes to the extreme of nipping my jumper etc. In the end it puts me off and I move and then shes gives the dog LOTS of attention and says he is just playing??? In my opinion (now im no dog whisperer!) but if a dog is displaying signs on jealousy and does the above then the last thing you should do is give them attention as it leads them to think they can get away with it. Especially when ive been 'pushed' to the side and he gets the attention that's going to make him think he is more dominant??

2. The dog is literally her shadow, Whenever she is in the house he will follow her and be in her face ALL the time. To me this is not healthy for her or the dog...

3. The dog has no rules... Such as her parents don't allow the dog on the sofa but when they are away the dog can go on the sofa...even though I try and enforce it not to...

4. My GF would like to have a kid in the distant future but I am very reluctant too with a dog that has too much attention, if he gets jealous with her giving me attention then I dread what he would be like with a kid...but her answer to that is "I will train him when the time comes" whereas my view is to train him whilst we have the time!

Don't get me wrong I don't hate this dog but I find it weird that im being pushed aside to some extent... Am I jealous? Am I over reacting? Has anyone got any advice on what to do with this matter? I have tried speaking to her nicely about it but it turns into an argument as she gets defensive over the dog and says im over reacting ;s

Any help would be appreciated.

Former Member

What you've described seem like discipline issues to me. Nipping at anyone is a sign of dominance or aggression. He needs training, he needs it now.

Former Member

Thats what ive been saying to her but she dont listen. she sees it as playing

Former Member

Rewarding the dog's jealousy is unlikely to be a good thing, but you have bigger problems than that, because your girlfriend isn't listening to you. You need to fix that before you can fix the dog.

Former Member

Mist makes the point I missed. If your partner isn't listening that's a bigger problem

Former Member

Is it possible that the dog thinks you're fighting? My girl is very very defensive of me, and if I'm having an arm wrestle with my boyfriend or we're talking loudly she thinks we're arguing/fighting and starts to bark at him and gets very upset. I don't tell her off for this, I comfort her because she genuinely thinks I'm going to get hurt.

I wouldn't call nipping your jumper extreme, the dog might just be trying to play, and if it was a rescue it might not have been socialized properly as a puppy meaning it doesn't know the biting boundaries (what is too hard, not acceptable etc).
Biting boundaries do need to be taught to a dog, my girl has been taught to nibble (toys, the other dogs we have, my hand etc) and if she nibbles to hard we make a high pitched sound like a yelping puppy. She soon learnt how hard was too hard and knows how to play with other dogs (because biting is a part of play for them) and the difference between playing with a human and a dog. We got her as a rescue at 6 months old, she'd lived in a very dangerous environment before this and was difficult to train but it can be done.

Also, does your girlfriend have a problem with the dog following her round and going on the sofa? If not, then it's not really your place to try and change that. Some people see dogs as pets, some people see dogs as members of the family. So your boundaries of what dogs should/shouldn't do could be very different to her own.

Former Member

The dog is trying to show dominance, but it is also struggling to adapt to its new position lower down in the "pack" and your girlfriend isn't helping. My brother's dog has been exactly the same way since they had a baby, not to the extent of nipping because they tell her off but she gets very jealous, follows them around, has started making a mess e.t.c. basically demanding attention that she never normally needed.

Dogs have to know their place, it's good for the dog and it's good for the family. Right now you are the usurper and it is your girlfriend's job to challenge the behaviour, not give it a cuddle every time it nips you.