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my life :/

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi everyone..im new here so i dont really know what im doing! sorry in advance if i have bad spelling or anything im dyslexic and normally get a fair amount of abuse for it.
im here really because im having a pretty sh!t time at the minuite.. and i dont really have anyone to talk to :/

well first of my 11month boyfriend who was my best friend for ages before that broke up with me last week.. and i dont know what todo with my self? i miss him so much i cant even discribe.. even though things whernt to great between us for awhile. Im a total mess.. spend most nights crying my self to sleep :( i feel so empty without him in mylife.. now we dont really live close but we had pretty much been texting 24/7 for the past 2 yrs or more and now nothing.. i cant bare it! not only have i lost my boyfriend.. iv lost my best friend. the only saving grace in this is we go to different schools so i dont have to see him :O im out out this week end to an 18th party of a mutual friend.. first time ill see him since the breakup. knowing me ill get so drunk and make a fool of my self :/ i also know that if i see him shifting (snogging) another girl there.. i will deffently break down in tears

if i didnt feel bad enough from that.. i had a very bad case of glandur fever early this year and last year and i was off for about 5monthes.. im still affected by some of the symthoms now (extreme tierdness) and im up and down to the hospital all the time as well as now constintly catching colds flus and tummy bugs since i have a weaked immune system.. so im constintlyfeeling down from that.

i used to always be an A standard student(except in languges) butnow im really failing at school due to missing so much time..
my parents are getting really mad at me about this becasue they expect so much from me.. i feel like im under so much pressure from every angle and i just want to curl up in a ball in my room and never talk to anyone ever agian :/
sorry about the long rant.. i had to get it out :)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Welcome to the boards. Ranting is good, I rant a lot. There is nothing wrong with being dyslexic, we won't judge you here.

    I have got nothing useful to say, just wanted to offer hugs *hug*

    I know how you feel. I broke up with my ex about a month ago now and it's still pretty hard. When you go to this party, try not to show your ex how upset you are. Act happy, and hold your head up high. Do you want to explain a little more about why you broke up?

    I also know how you feel with glandular fever. I had it over christmas not last year, the year before. I was in hospital for a bit, came out, went back in on boxing day because I had dehydrated. It's horrible, and I guess you're feeling pretty worn out. It takes a while to fully recover from glandular fever, but you'll get there.

    Do you have any support? Have you ever thought about going to your GP? If your low mood is affecting your school work, there may be something your doctor can suggest. Also, have you thought about talking to you parents about this?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks butterfly123 :)
    to be quite honest i dont know why we broke up.. and thats the truth.. which i dont think is helping things either :s we started growing distant.. hes in his final exam year and had quite a lot of work todo.. we both do an awful lot of horseriding.. (in the same club aswell) and thats the only place other than going out (pub with a load of friends for various partys.. about 1-2 times a month) i would get to see him :/ i kept trying to make plans to see him but he was always to busy or to tierd :( the texting slowed right down and we went from about 150 texts a day to not even sppeking some days. the times i would see him there would be a cool air between us.. i was always mad at him for making no effort..and i wanted us to talk and work it out.. but before we could he asked could we go back to being friends.. i couldnt really say no ? :/
    i susposed he changed since spetember.. wanting me to send him pictures in my thongs and all that the whole time.. and hed never been like that before.. i dont know why he changed.. and he stopped telling me stuff. he was always texting other girls.. which i didnt have a problem with at first because they where friends.. but then he started texting them more than me. i dunno everyones saying i was better of without him because i was always down and in a bad mood because of him.. butr i dunno :s
    as for the glandur fever its nice to know itends.. because it feels like its going on forever :/

    me and my mam used to always be very close and i would tell her everything.. but i dunno i feel like i cant talk to her about this now :s
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like it may be a good idea trying to talk to you ex about this, about why he broke up with you, his reasons for it. It must be hard not knowing what went wrong. Is there any chance you could maybe arrange a chat with him? Or do you think that might make you feel worse? For some people, cutting off all contact is probably the best. It's completely up to you, you need to do what you feel is right for you.

    If he was always making you upset you probably are better off without him. I totally understand though that you probably don't see that yet. You say he broke up with you last week, a week is absolutely nothing and you're probably still at the worst stage of your break up. One thing I have realised, since my relationship ending, is that a relationship should make you happy, you shouldn't be sad and trying to put up with it all the time.

    I know what it's like when people continuously tell you 'you're better off without him, he was this, he was that'. It's not nice, and it's not what you want to hear but people are just going to say it anyway. What helped me though, was coming on here to rant about everything. Feel free to do that, we're here to listen.

    It's understandable that you don't feel like you can talk to your mum about this, you might in time though. Do you have any close friends who you could maybe talk to about this?
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