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Mental Health and Me
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Before you read this. I'm not trying to scare or worry you. It's just something I wanted to share with you though. I'm not scared or worried! 
Since I was 8 years old or even before then, I have been hearing very negative voices and receiving very distressing images (video type messages). I never told anyone about them until a year and a half ago - I am now 17. When I did tell my parents and my sister, my Mum got me a doctor's appointment. I found it really hard telling my parents, as it had been a secret of mine for over 7 years, and I didn't want them to think I was stupid and crazy. Soon enough, my local doctor, at the time, admitted me to CAMHS. I found it really difficult talking to the psychiatrist too, but after 3 weeks, he prescribed me two lots of medication. One to help me cope with my voices and limit the images, the other, because of my anxiety and depression. Since the first day I have seen about 7 people for my health, some were from this team called N-Steps. Back in August, just after I actually found I could trust the people who were trying to help me, my family and I moved house. Not to a different house, but a different country. I'm still, a couple months later, finding it hard to settle in this new area, and college (which I started beginning of September).
About a year ago, after I told my parents and my best friend, and my church about my issue, I managed to tell my grandparents, and it wasn't until early August this year that I told my uncles and aunties and I even told my favourite author (who I started messaging in July). There are still members of my family who still don't know about me, nor do my new friends.
As each day goes, the voices get stronger and stronger despite having medication. I haven't been to hospital, but there have been quite a few occasions where I've done stuff due to the voices being in control of me! Now, I can sort of control them, but this rarely happens. Even though a lady from the N-Steps team who I used to see, said it's a common thing, I still find it hard because I don't know anyone else who experiences the same sort of thing as I do. As much as my parents and sister, and the people I've told have supported me, I have never spoken, or met, someone who actually understands what I'm going through, and I do get very lonely.
I've been speaking to one of the people from N-Steps on the phone occasionally, and after about 3-4 months, seen a new psychiatrist.
I'm wanting to tell more people about me, guessing by this long post I think I have just done that. Now, it's trying to find the bravery to tell the rest of my family, be truthful to them as well as my friends.
On a closing note: if you're new to hearing voices, etc, and you haven't told anyone about it; I know it is hard, but please try and tell someone.
Since I was 8 years old or even before then, I have been hearing very negative voices and receiving very distressing images (video type messages). I never told anyone about them until a year and a half ago - I am now 17. When I did tell my parents and my sister, my Mum got me a doctor's appointment. I found it really hard telling my parents, as it had been a secret of mine for over 7 years, and I didn't want them to think I was stupid and crazy. Soon enough, my local doctor, at the time, admitted me to CAMHS. I found it really difficult talking to the psychiatrist too, but after 3 weeks, he prescribed me two lots of medication. One to help me cope with my voices and limit the images, the other, because of my anxiety and depression. Since the first day I have seen about 7 people for my health, some were from this team called N-Steps. Back in August, just after I actually found I could trust the people who were trying to help me, my family and I moved house. Not to a different house, but a different country. I'm still, a couple months later, finding it hard to settle in this new area, and college (which I started beginning of September).
About a year ago, after I told my parents and my best friend, and my church about my issue, I managed to tell my grandparents, and it wasn't until early August this year that I told my uncles and aunties and I even told my favourite author (who I started messaging in July). There are still members of my family who still don't know about me, nor do my new friends.
As each day goes, the voices get stronger and stronger despite having medication. I haven't been to hospital, but there have been quite a few occasions where I've done stuff due to the voices being in control of me! Now, I can sort of control them, but this rarely happens. Even though a lady from the N-Steps team who I used to see, said it's a common thing, I still find it hard because I don't know anyone else who experiences the same sort of thing as I do. As much as my parents and sister, and the people I've told have supported me, I have never spoken, or met, someone who actually understands what I'm going through, and I do get very lonely.
I've been speaking to one of the people from N-Steps on the phone occasionally, and after about 3-4 months, seen a new psychiatrist.
I'm wanting to tell more people about me, guessing by this long post I think I have just done that. Now, it's trying to find the bravery to tell the rest of my family, be truthful to them as well as my friends.
On a closing note: if you're new to hearing voices, etc, and you haven't told anyone about it; I know it is hard, but please try and tell someone.
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Comments
Thanks for sharing your story with us. It sounds like you've come a long way - telling your close family, best friend and church that you were hearing voices can't have been easy, and it's really positive that you're working up to telling the other people in your life
You said that you've never spoken to someone who actually understands what you're going through. That must be lonely. I wonder if you've ever heard of 'Voice Collective' an online community for people who hear or see things that other people don't. It might be worth a look?
Moving to a new area can often be difficult, especially when it's in a different country. It's totally understandable that it's taking a while to settle in and get used to college. Do you think it's getting any easier the longer you're there?
You seem to have a positive attitude, which is helping you move forwards even if it's sometimes difficult.
Keep posting and let us know how you're doing
Thanks for sending me the link, I've had a quick look at it, but will have a better look later. I have spoken to people who work with the NHS and CAMHS, but no one who can actually say, I hear voices and see things too. Really, I'd like to speak to someone who does know what I'm going through, as much as I love my family; it is sometimes hard to talk to them because they don't actually have what I have. Not that I ever want them to have what I'm going through; I'm glad I got what I have in the sense that, I'm glad my family don?t have it. I'm quite protective of my family and friends.
The last time I spoke to my new psychiatrist was about 2-3 weeks ago, and the person I generally speak on the phone to from N-Steps in England, we had our last phone call last week. So until the next time I see someone, which is in another 2-3 weeks time, it's going to be pretty hard; I must be honest.
It's still hard being in a different part of the country. I've made friends at college, and so it has made it easier for me to cope, but it is still pretty difficult. And as much as they are my friends, only 2 of my friends and my personal tutor actually know. It's hard to talk to someone about it, when they don't experience it themselves, or even know that it was a problem. But my friends and tutors who do know have been really supportive, especially my tutor, which is what I never thought would happen. I thought he'd kick me off the course for being crazy. But he hasn't, I thank him for the support.
Positives and me? well we don't mix well, I'm always negative, and I'm not exaggerating. I'm very negative, always have been. When I do pick up on positives, it near enough straight away goes to a negative due to what the voices say and images show me. I feel like I have to find a fault in everything because if I 'do' think positively and it turns out into a negative. I'd feel worse, than if I did if I sort of prepared myself. Does that make sense?
Sorry for going on, but before I close. I'd like to say that my friend from college and I started our own mental health page on Facebook www.facebook.com/MentalHealthAwarenessAct supporting people with mental health the best way we can. Since it's creation about 20 days ago, we've got 209 likes!
Thanks for listening!