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I can't cope with change
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am having lots of different appointments at the hospital and I really don't like change. I have just about got comfortable with my physio, psychologist, occupational therapist and consultants and its nice not having to explain everything again when I go. My physio saw me lots when I was in hospital and now I am seeing her as an outpatient. She has also seen my SH so knows about that and she has spoken to my psychologist and I have just about got comfortable with that. I have now been referred to the community physio and even though I know who she is as she saw me after my stroke a year ago she has told me today that I need to make up my mind and see just one physio. I can understand why as it is hard when you have conflicting advice but I don't know which one to choose as I like both and want to see both. I don't know what to do and I don't know why but this has really upset me . I had to explain everything again today and it is so hard when I don't even know what has caused this. I hate how my life is at the moment and feel so low all the time
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You say that you rely on the appointments with your hospital physio worker and your psychologist because they know about the self harm and you can talk to them about it, but you feel that it's bad to rely on them.
How do you think you would feel if you didn't have to worry and talk about the self harm with the community physio? It may be good that you could just focus on the physio exercises but you would still have your psychologist to talk about other things with.
It's completely up to you but just know that whatever your decision, you will be okay.
We're here for you lovely. You'll get through this
What do you actually want? If you could choose how this whole situation was, how would it be?
I think maybe deep down you know what you think you should do.
All of these appointments are to help you get better, it'll be worth it eventually.
Take your time, you don't have to decide here and now.
We're here for you, my brave LC
Take a look at these, they have some useful things about coping and trying to be more positive:
http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/anxietyandstress/copingwithstress
http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/wellbeing/lookingafteryourself/beingpositive
Just so you know, if you want to know more about the certain tablets you're taking now you can post on the boards about it. A lot of people may have had the same tablets and they can tell you about their experience on them. You probably already know this but I thought it might be worth mentioning.
Stop saying sorry missy! You're allowed to rant and we're here to listen.
You are NOT weak! You're strong, and you're brave. Look and what's happened and you've got through it all. I know you don't like people saying this but I'm going to say it anyway.. you will get through this again! You've got so many people that care about you.
Nobody should have said 'all the shit happens to you' and you do not deserve anything that happens. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so you're very strong. All this stuff has made you who you are today and you're so lovely and inspirational. Remember that.
I hope you're feeling a bit better today.. I'm here *hug*
I love my LC
Don't take that to mean it happens for a 'karmatic' reason, see it as some sort of training to prepare you for the future. Life is just a set of lessons.
I'll offer a hug too if you want one from me and I hope that you're feeling stronger now.
I don't know what more I can do. The harming is getting worse and my thoughts are getting more out of control and worse. I don't know what I am going to do. I wish I could curl up in a ball in a dark place and never wake up. My life is like it is because of decisions that I made....I wish I could unmake these. I hate what I am doing to my family and pushing my friends away.
You're an amazing friend who I care a lot about so don't think I'm ever going to let you deal with this on your own. You're never getting rid of me.
I'll give you a bit of thinking time because I can see you're not feeling great but you know I'm here if you need me.
Love you LC
I know the thought of Thursday is scaring you but I agree, you will be okay. You will learn to live with the outcome eventually and you will find other things that you love. I know you don't want to hear that and you don't believe it but I thought it was worth mentioning again. You're a lot stronger than you think.
Soon the side affect of the tablets will ware off and hopefully you'll be your crazy amazing self most of the time
I know how hard you're trying and it is making a difference, I think you're so low that you can't see it..
Remember the other day when you actually ran in hockey? Yes you wore yourself out but there was a time when you couldn't have even tried running.. you don't see that because instead you thought I ran and it wore me out so I'm not getting better. But you are getting better because you felt like running and you tried. And last night? You did amazing! And I'm so proud of you! Lovely, you are getting better slowly and you will eventually get there.
Secondly, I'm proud of you! Well done for writing about all of that on here! Remember not long ago you only just started talking to me about it? The fact you were able to write on here is such a great step to take!
I know how it feels and I know that I keep repeating myself and I know that this must seem impossible as this is all still fairly new to you but it will get easier. I'm not saying it will eventually go away and you'll never think about it again because I'm sorry to say that's not true but you will learn to live with this and the flashbacks and the memories will lessen and eventually you won't feel so down about it. The fact that you have realised you haven't dealt with this properly yet and that you have started talking more about it is a good first step to take and again I say I'm proud of you.
Is this why you are feeling down and trapped tonight? What else are you doing for distractions tonight?
I am glad that your gp is only giving you 3 days worth of tablets at a time if you're feeling like you're getting to the point of wanting to end your life. I can't have me bestest doing that can I? A lot of people care about you.. please remember that. Big hugs *hug*
I'm not happy about the fact you have no energy, but I am happy that you don't feel like hurting yourself tonight. Again, well done on not hurting yourself because I think that's progress too!
Anyway, something nice to wake up to in the morning as I know you've gone to bed
You are my kind, funny, caring, crazy (in a good way) bestest who I love lots and lots (even more than jelly tots remember?) You are inspirational, you are strong and you are brave and I will keep saying this until you start believing it and even after! Don't give up, you'll get there. Keep looking at those little card things because I repeat every word is true! Keep looking at that thing and remember its meaning, I'm here, as are the boards when you need to rant. I do care about you. Loves and hugs.