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Feeling so worthless and need support or someone too talk too :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm new on here so please no critisizm as I'm going through a really rough time and feel like running away or crying my eyes out even though I have been for the last few weeks.

I was rushed into hospital last week due too having black-outs and loosing my memory, it was very severe and I had too stay in the hospital for 6 1/2 hours going through loads off tests. I had too have an emergency MRI scan done on my brain too determine if there was any pressure causing my memory loss as I don't have a clue what's been going on the past few months and my family had too sit me down and go through everything :'( felt so useless and still do :/
My results came back normal from the emergency department and had too be placed in another room for 4 hours straight, during this time I had a 4 blackouts and this lead too a severe case off trauma.

The doctors think that with my violent relationship before this it's traumatized me and I have too live with it for the rest off my life, I get severe/frightening nightmares off my past and it's effecting my new relationship.

I've had too quit my 3 jobs as I ain't allowed too go anywhere on my own or get stressed/too much pressure. My doctor had too make an emergency appointment too see a neurologist and I'm very scared!!!!
I feel that my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore and that everyone's going too give up on me with the condition I'm in :'( I'm just soooo upset I've been thinking about hurting myself again and I don't really know who too trust anymore. It's like my life's turning like hell especcially when I REALLY wanna work and enjoy myself but I can't do this.

Need support or even a chat as I feel soooooo alone and useless

Thank you

Gemma x

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to hear that u end up in hospital.have u spoken to anyone about what's going on. The hospital there to help u. I know what's it like staying in hospital its not nice staying there. Have u tryed speaking to ur gp about it all, to see weather they could help u. I know someone that have back out and not nice seeing it they had to put him on tablets to help u to stop having black out. Sorry to hear about ur boyfreind. U could try and speak to him about it all.

    here some links that u could look at
    http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/anxietyandstress/anxietyandstress

    http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/wellbeing/sleep/dreamsandnightmares

    http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/treatments/medicaltreatments

    hopes this helps u a bit rember we here for u :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello Bubbley-Heather

    Thank you for commenting on my thread.
    I haven't spoken too anyone about my problems's other than the hospital and doctors :( I'm afraid it just could be too much too handle for my family and partner and I don't really want too push them away but that's what I feel like I'm doing :/
    I'm still waiting for my appointment too see the neurologist but I just feel like it's taking forever and I'm just getting out off control.

    Don't know what too do, just feel like giving up on myself because everyone's better off without me :'(

    Gemma x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Awwww hugs *hugs*

    sorry to hear that :'(. Have u thought about having counselling that could help u. May i ask how old are u u could speak to ur doctors about transfer u to it. I have the same problem i got counselloring and it help me a lot. U could see weather u could go to anger mangment too which iam going too to help me.

    keep posting :) we here for u
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey gemma :wave: welcome to the boards and well done on posting.

    Sorry to hear about you violent relationship and that it's affecting your new one. You seem to have a lot going on.

    I know it might be hard but maybe you could try to talk to you boyfriend about the way you're feeling? It might help him to understand, and it might help you to know what he's thinking. Completely your choice though.

    We're all here for you, you're not alone. *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Gemma,

    As butterfly says, welcome to TheSite :) Coping with past trauma is something that quite a few people here can relate to so it's great that you have found us. Talking to others that have been through similar situations can help you realise that you're not alone in this and that recovery is possible.

    You mention that you've not talked to anyone about how you're feeling and that you're not too sure who to trust. You might find our article on Confiding in Someone a useful one to read, here's the link: http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/confidinginsomeone

    It may be that you could benefit from some kind of talking therapy (like counselling) when you feel ready - have the doctors ever suggested this? As heather says, talking to your GP about how you're feeling is also worthwhile when you feel up to it as they may be able to offer you further support for the emotional side of things.

    Let us know how the appointment goes with the neurologist, lots of luck *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey Gemma,

    im so sorry to hear about all of that, so much to deal with. what everyone else said is great advice. just remember your not useless and you need to take it easy, you are very brave to come here and be so honest :) and hope the advice helps, welcome to the boards im quiet new and feel very welcomed here hopefully you will be the same.

    were all here to help each other where possible *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for commenting on my thread.
    I haven't spoken too anyone about my problems's other than the hospital and doctors :( I'm afraid it just could be too much too handle for my family and partner and I don't really want too push them away but that's what I feel like I'm doing :/
    I'm still waiting for my appointment too see the neurologist but I just feel like it's taking forever and I'm just getting out off control.

    Don't know what too do, just feel like giving up on myself because everyone's better off without me :'(

    Gemma x

    I'm sure they'd rather you spoke to them and told them what was going on, than keeping it all bottled up and trying to cope on your own.

    I hope you find out soon what's going on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm new here too and thank you for sharing this with us, it must have taken a lot of courage to post this.
    I am so sorry for what you are going through, but you can't do this on your own and I bet your parents would want to hear about what you are going through as they think the World of you and want to help you get through this.
    Please don't harm yourself and tell your boyfriend how you feel, if he is a man he will understand and support you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello there,
    I am new on the forum too and I see everybody is very friendly around here.
    All of the advices you got from here are very good. You gotta talk to people about your problem. I am sure you have good beautiful things in your life and you have a lot of reasons to go on, to live for. You have to fight for your happiness. I know it's difficult, but life is full of surprises. Please go and talk to someone about this and get back on the track!
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