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Hopeless :(
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Feeling really hopeless. I'm being reassessed by my CPN at CMHT but it's not til next Tuesday and not sure how to cope til then. Also just found out that my Social Worker is leaving the team and i'm absolutely gutted, and i'm concerned my care won't be anywhere near as good now he's leaving. It sounds like i'll get a replacement Social Worker but we were doing all kinds of things including Mindfulness Based Therapy...argh just feeling really crap about it as silly as it sounds. I guess I got too attached
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Always here if you need a chat :-)
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" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Youll get there eventually lovely. We all believe in you.
Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
I'm not really sure how I want to respond, just really wanted to offer you *hug*'s - It sounds like you're going through a difficult situation, and it's often difficult not to create a bond with someone after opening up to them, I know I was a bit of a mess when my therapist had finished off a DBT Course with me, as it just came to the end, even though I was expecting it, the thought of someone leaving had scared me.
How do you feel about the reassessment? I'm glad you're being reassessed, it can often help when deciding what kind of support needs to be offered for you, and to support you more. However, you said you did a bit of Mindfulness with your Social worker, I suggest you keep that going, Mindfulness can offer a lot, and it is something taught so you can do it alone, there are also really beneficial YouTube video's that can support you through mindfulness to, depending on which type of mindfulness you like more.
Maybe it's about using mindfulness as a coping strategy and the support you have on here, till Tuesday, you can also visit your GP during hours, and if you ever felt at risk, you could go to A&E where you should be offered someone to talk to. Remember, as Winnie the Pooh said, you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarted than you think!
Were always here for you,
Best wishes,
Angel
Yeah i'm so gutted. And it's hard to imagine that if I get a replacement that they will be anywhere near as good as him. I hope that they are, cause I need someone like him otherwise I probably won't engage. But knowing my luck and because of how good he was I highly doubt it
I'm quite nervous about the reassessment, although i'm relieved that it's with my CPN. I'm also kinda frustrated that it's so long away - i'll have waited two weeks after an urgent referral was made just to be seen. But in a way i'm glad i've got some time to wait, i'd be panicking if it was tomorrow for example! I also think it may help them to figure out what exactly I need, so hopefully it can only be a good thing. Thanks for telling me about the Mindfulness videos I will look into them.
I saw my GP Tuesday (I was feeling a bit more hopeful til afterwards when CMHT called me and I heard the news about the Social Worker leaving, as well as the fact I had to wait another week to be seen) and I'm seeing her again next Tuesday. I could probably call her tomorrow if I really needed to but I don't really want to bug her - she does enough for me as it is. I have spoken to the out of hours people tonight though who are passing a message onto the Crisis Team and they're getting someone to call me back (either someone from CMHT or Crisis Team, whoever they feel is most appropriate) at some point tomorrow (well today but you know what I mean!) So i'm a bit nervous. Normally if I was in this situation, I'd at least have the choice to call up and speak to my Social Worker, as that was the arrangement. I had talking to new people/people I don't know.
Thanks a lot Angel and sorry for my rambling x
It's great to hear back from you, I know the change of social worker is going to be difficult, but I guess it's about keeping in mind, everything is as it is, it's about having that support in place in comparison to having a lack of support in place, because I know that really does kick arse at times, and can feel rather isolating. Maybe it's worth expressing how you felt with your old social worker with your new one, so she can get an idea of what you want out of sessions and how she can best work with you and support you, sadly you won't find a social worker exactly the same as the one you've had, but maybe this new one won't be so bad?
It's positive to hear you have the assessment with someone you know, allowing it to feel less overwhelming, that's great! How much longer do you have to wait, before actually having the assessment? I'm glad you're still reaching out for support on here however, I'm proud of you! It's also great to see you've put a positive balance on it to Best of luck with the assessment however.
Do you see your GP on a weekly basis? I know when I don't have support in place which is weekly, I get set up with weekly sessions with my GP. But then with me, it's checking blood pressure, and blood tests half the time! I'm not sure who you mean when you say you're seeing them next Tuesday, but maybe it's about opening up to them and expressing how things have gone recently with how you'e generally been feeling? A GP is there to support you, as an individual, so calling her, really wouldn't being bugging her, it would be an amazing positive step to getting support.
Did you get a call back from someone in the end? If so how did it go? By the way a massive well done for calling out of hours, that's a very brave thing to do! *hug*'s
Best wishes,
Angel
It's on Tuesday the assessment. I'm also seeing the GP the same morning just before. Yeah i'm really lucky in the fact that normally she sees me weekly. She's not in again next til then, but I saw her only the other day anyway.
It went alright thanks spoke to who I spoke to yesterday. She said she definitely passed the message onto the crisis team, but she knows they've been extremely busy today (she hasn't been able to get through to them herself) and she said it was possible the message got lost in translation when passing the message over to CMHT. She said she would put another note on there and to expect a call from them tomorrow but that if I don't hear from them I should call them x
I have been reading your thread sorry that it is taking so long with the crisis team. Did you get the call back?
purple_rain
In your last long response, it sounded like things were looking up a bit, and you've made it this far showing a great deal of hope. I'm sorry crisis didn't call back, I can imagine that would be a pain, do you think it would be worth calling them again expressing your feelings? What support do you have until Tuesday when you see your GP again? Do you think you could use the mindfulness you worked on with your old social worker?
It does sound like you were considering call them in your long last response, which is really positive. Maybe it's worth taking up that offer? I do hope the crisis team calm down in busyness soon and get in contact, however, do keep reaching out to us, why is it you want to give up on everything now? You've come an amazingly way and I'm really proud of you *hug*'s - Please do keep reaching out to us though,
Best wishes,
Angel
I just see no hope I just want to die.
Thanks for all your support and for talking to me x
Thank you for the instant response that was quick - I'm glad you're still reaching out for support on here, as we really do care about you! Calling CMHT would of been beneficial, especially if you are feeling suicidal, I really do hope you don't do anything silly, as their is support out there, you can also call Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90, and their open 24/7
I do think cancelling won't be beneficial for you, what's making you want to cancel your appointments and assessment? Have you considered doing a Pros and Cons list to going and not going and see what the outcome is, maybe you could share it with us?
You could use video's to support you through Mindfulness, for example this Progressive Muscle Relaxation allowing you to relax which can be found here...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFwCKKa--18 Which is around 10 minutes long, however, I find it rather relaxing And it's about keeping it constant, how about trying to get some sleep and see how things are going tomorrow, however, it does sound as though calling Crisis would be an option you should take up,
Best wishes,
Angel
I don't see there being any pros to going to either appointments really. I give up that's the problem.
Thanks Angel, when i'm up to it i'll have a go at the video. Thank you x
*hug*'s BrokenGirl, what's been going on, why are you feeling 'so crap?' Were here for you
If you have taken an over done on Friday, do you think it's wise to cancel your appt with your GP now? And why do you think there's no hope for you? *hug*
Maybe a good way to start would be by going to see the people who want to and are able to help you?
You're unlikely to get better if you're cancelling doctor appointments and writing off the crisis team. They're there to help you get better.
How do you know that unless you let them try?
Well then, without trying to be cruel, you're unlikely to get better. You don't get things without effort. And sometimes you get worse in the process, but that doesn't mean it's not working, it means you have to work harder to get out of it.
Hello BrokenGirl
It often takes years for people to recover, recovery isn't an instant process, however, it's about gradually getting there. You have the option of support there, which not many people do, and maybe you won't get a better social worker, or better support this time round, but then, it could the complete opposite to! And as Franki said, sometimes when getting support, you fall and feel as though it's getting worst, but in the long run, it can be beneficial, maybe it's just about having someone to talk to, only you can sort the situation.
Best wishes,
Angel
Good news about CMHT at least you are getting somewhere with them now :thumb:
It's good that you got to see your social worker even if it is for the last time. I know it's not easy with change and I can understand where you are coming from not being able to deal with it as I don't handle change either but I have learnt as I got older that change is not always a bad thing.
I know from what I have read from your thread you have had a really good social worker and someone who you felt comfortable to confide in. It takes time to get know someone and build a relationship with and even though it will be difficult at first you will learn to trust and confide with your new worker whoever that maybe, but to give it a chance as you never know
purple_rain
Well in some ways I am getting somewhere with them but once all my care changes I don't think I will be I really need to keep the same social worker (which obviously I know isn't possible) but at least keep my CPN (who's also my Care Coordinator) but even she may be changing. I think i'll find out sometime next week, hopefully Monday. I'm thinking of calling my Social Worker to see if there's any chance I could at least keep my CPN...or for him or my CPN to gradually hand me over to someone else but i'm not really sure how to go about it and I feel bad for asking and not sure what to say. I can't afford to mess things up with CMHT again...but at the same time I don't think I will handle new people well
I hope you're right. I'm really gutted cause I know he would have gone out of his way to help me...a lot of people don't bother as much and I know I was lucky to have him. The problem is I need someone who won't give up on me even when i've given up on myself and he was very much like that. Not sure if anyone else will be or will have the same kind of patience with me. I hope so otherwise i'm screwed