Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

Housework dilemma

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I can't get my fiancé to help out with housework - what should I do?

My fiancé works for four days out of every eight. He thinks that because he works I should do the cooking, cleaning, shopping and laundry all by myself.He plays games on his laptop in any free time he has - he even brings it to bed. During this time I can't even get a conversation out of him.

I am full time student at university but he believes that because I am at home more than he is it should be my job to run the household. He doesn't seem to realise that even when I'm not physically at uni I still have coursework and studying to do. He won't even do things that would make the housework easier - he will drop rubbish on the floor where he is and not even bother to put it in the bin.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He plays games on his laptop in any free time he has - he even brings it to bed......he will drop rubbish on the floor where he is and not even bother to put it in the bin.

    Sounds an inconsiderate dick.

    If I was you i'd

    A - with hold sex because the housework has made you so tired

    or

    B - only do YOUR housework. Make your dinner, clean your clothes, wash up your plates and he can fucking fend for himself.


    You could do the 'I know I don't go out to uni much but I still have work to do so some help would be appreciated' thing, but he sounds like a dick and probably wouldn't listen or just do some housework for a week and then conveniently let it drop.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Pfft, do both
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you really want to marry somebody who thinks it's ok to drop rubbish on the floor in your house and make you pick it up? What a cunt
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I work 6 on 3 off. When i'm off I do house work. When my wife is off, she does housework. It's a team effort.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also housework is surprisingly easy to keep on top of if everyone just does little bits i.e wiping the sides down if you've made a mess, putting dirty clothes in the wash bin. Taking it in turns to do certain rooms, or if you prefer each of you be in charge of cleaning a certain room e.g you the bathroom him the kitchen/living room. You're his girlfriend, not his mum, nor is he 5 years old. But seriously, I'd be thinking long and hard about marrying this guy if this is his attitude and it doesn't change.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just do your own cooking and see how he likes it. You're meant to be his partner and not his slave.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agree with the others, except withholding sex. Just do your own stuff, or if you are slobby, just don't do any of it, that's what I do :p...

    or really, just talk to him about it. I'm assuming that by living together, you have been partners for a fair amount of time and are pretty serious. This is something that could probably be easily solved with a simple conversation. Discussion, compromise and letting your feelings known are an important part of long lasting relationships. If you can't even do that, what hope do you have? Every little thing that bothers both of you will just build up and cause resentment, when they could have easily been solved through open communication.

    I never understood withholding sex as a punishment, sure you might be punishing them, but if you are in a monogamous relationship, you are also withholding sex from yourself, and thus, punishing yourself too and what's the benefit of that?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my name wrote: »
    or really, just talk to him about it. I'm assuming that by living together, you have been partners for a fair amount of time and are pretty serious. This is something that could probably be easily solved with a simple conversation. Discussion, compromise and letting your feelings known are an important part of long lasting relationships. If you can't even do that, what hope do you have? Every little thing that bothers both of you will just build up and cause resentment, when they could have easily been solved through open communication.

    :yes:

    Have a look at our article on talking to your partner which can help :)

    Let us know how you get on!
Sign In or Register to comment.