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Am I The Only One...??
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
First of all, hey all. I've just joined because I need to get this off my chest, and to know if other people feel the same...
I'm 23 - 24 at the end of October - and I'm on a real downer. This happened to me earlier this year, but changed when I got a job in April, now for some reason it's happening again.
I live in a small-ish town, where full time jobs are hard to come by. Before I got my current full time job, I was working 4.5 hours a week. This means I had plenty of spare time, but no money to do anything. I now work 42 hours a week at a youth hostel, and it seems I now have money, but no time to do anything.
I think it's this that's putting me in a catch-22. I'm working so hard, trying to save up some money so that at some point in the next few years I can move out of the family home (I want to start to settle down with my boyfriend (who's 21), and not start a family straight away, but be able to think about it). But everyone seems to treat me like I'm 12 - yes, I am a little immature, and I like my video games, but even those I work with treat me like I'm an inch tall and that every thing I say is some kind of joke. As I live in the staff flat at the hostel, I live with two men (both about 50-ish) and I'll just say I've boycotted the bathroom and kitchen down there since the beginning of May - when these men 'moved in'.
It just seems like I'm working so hard for something that should be so easy (yes, recession, I know). Well, the easy part would be to get knocked up, get a council house and claim JobSeekers. But I don't want to do that, I'm not ready for that. But at the same time, as I'm trying to get myself together for having a family a few years down the line, everything is trying to get in my way. It's just really winding me up.
I just... I feel lost.
I find it hard to care about anything, I've even lost interest in my job - which up until two days ago I loved.
I'm happy with what I have, but... I just want to happy with the next level of 'growing up', for want of a better phrase.
I've been with my boyfriend 2 years, and I've had multiple downers of varying levels - even selfharming, which was nothing to do with him, we've not argued once - but whenever I talk to him about how I feel, it just makes him feel sad 'cause there's nothing he can do to help. I can talk to my mum as well, but she struggles to understand.
Just as a side note, I was diagnosed with depression when I was 19, and discovered I'd actually had depression since I was 14. I was only diagnosed after I'd taken an overdose.
So, is anyone else feeling this way? Has anyone felt this way before hand? I guess I just need to talk about it, to someone who's outside my little circle (i.e. my mum, my boyfriend, and my brother - my dad lives in Bristol, and I hardly see him, though there's no problems between us)
Thanks in advance, everyone. Getting this off my chest as helped a little, though bursting into tears in the reception in work isn't the best thing to do.
I'm 23 - 24 at the end of October - and I'm on a real downer. This happened to me earlier this year, but changed when I got a job in April, now for some reason it's happening again.
I live in a small-ish town, where full time jobs are hard to come by. Before I got my current full time job, I was working 4.5 hours a week. This means I had plenty of spare time, but no money to do anything. I now work 42 hours a week at a youth hostel, and it seems I now have money, but no time to do anything.
I think it's this that's putting me in a catch-22. I'm working so hard, trying to save up some money so that at some point in the next few years I can move out of the family home (I want to start to settle down with my boyfriend (who's 21), and not start a family straight away, but be able to think about it). But everyone seems to treat me like I'm 12 - yes, I am a little immature, and I like my video games, but even those I work with treat me like I'm an inch tall and that every thing I say is some kind of joke. As I live in the staff flat at the hostel, I live with two men (both about 50-ish) and I'll just say I've boycotted the bathroom and kitchen down there since the beginning of May - when these men 'moved in'.
It just seems like I'm working so hard for something that should be so easy (yes, recession, I know). Well, the easy part would be to get knocked up, get a council house and claim JobSeekers. But I don't want to do that, I'm not ready for that. But at the same time, as I'm trying to get myself together for having a family a few years down the line, everything is trying to get in my way. It's just really winding me up.
I just... I feel lost.
I find it hard to care about anything, I've even lost interest in my job - which up until two days ago I loved.
I'm happy with what I have, but... I just want to happy with the next level of 'growing up', for want of a better phrase.
I've been with my boyfriend 2 years, and I've had multiple downers of varying levels - even selfharming, which was nothing to do with him, we've not argued once - but whenever I talk to him about how I feel, it just makes him feel sad 'cause there's nothing he can do to help. I can talk to my mum as well, but she struggles to understand.
Just as a side note, I was diagnosed with depression when I was 19, and discovered I'd actually had depression since I was 14. I was only diagnosed after I'd taken an overdose.
So, is anyone else feeling this way? Has anyone felt this way before hand? I guess I just need to talk about it, to someone who's outside my little circle (i.e. my mum, my boyfriend, and my brother - my dad lives in Bristol, and I hardly see him, though there's no problems between us)
Thanks in advance, everyone. Getting this off my chest as helped a little, though bursting into tears in the reception in work isn't the best thing to do.
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Comments
Welcome to thesite .... First off the boring bit, please familiarise yourself with the sticky threads at the top of the page .... Second off *hug* sorry you're feeling this way.
I think it's perfectly normal to feel frustrated and lose motivation with our lives in lots of ways, it is really hard to get a start in the world saving up and moving forward can seem impossible at times so you're really not alone.
Keep posting and letting it all out I think that's a really positive way to deal with your feelings, take a look around the site too there's lots of great pages here.
Dp