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Family problems, again.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hai.
So I've been with family for two days. And I've never been so stressed.
Within the first two hours of being here I was insulted. My mental health used against me, and I seriously can't cope with them.
I always try to come down because my little brother doesn't deserve not to see me because I'm pathetic and can't cope with family.
I don't even know what to do, I have to be here for at least a week, but I'm already stressing and struggling. I can't *do* anything.
They always make me feel as though I shouldn't be here. That I'm the child everyone is ashamed of, and I know I'm not normal. Or the best. So much so they replaced me with a dog.
I don't know what to do. I want to go home but can't, and I don't want to visit them but I can't
Sorry for moaning!
So I've been with family for two days. And I've never been so stressed.
Within the first two hours of being here I was insulted. My mental health used against me, and I seriously can't cope with them.
I always try to come down because my little brother doesn't deserve not to see me because I'm pathetic and can't cope with family.
I don't even know what to do, I have to be here for at least a week, but I'm already stressing and struggling. I can't *do* anything.
They always make me feel as though I shouldn't be here. That I'm the child everyone is ashamed of, and I know I'm not normal. Or the best. So much so they replaced me with a dog.
I don't know what to do. I want to go home but can't, and I don't want to visit them but I can't
Sorry for moaning!
0
Comments
The reason I ask is, because of the "replaced me with a dog" comment. What makes you think they did not just get one because they wanted to have one?
I do not doubt that you feel insulted and belittled by your parents, but some kind of perspective would help if either your parents are terrible or you are just super super sensitive and count everything as an personal affront as I know my sister did in her teenage years.
The last thing I wanna do is side with you and tell you to fuck your parents and destroy your relationship with them in a lasting fashion when the real issue might be that you are stroppy knowitall going through puberty.
If your father being abusive to you is me being ''super super sensitive'' then I'm shocked.
I'd never moan about them giving the old telling off.
But telling me to do things they know I will act on is horrible.
Why should my brother cry down the phone to me asking when I'm going to be down? Why should I have to stop everything and break the relationship with brother because I can't cope?
I know that's my only option.
That was a bit harsh StrubbleS... perhaps you could phrase your concerns in a less confrontational tone?
Sophiepea, hope things are getting a bit easier? How long are you staying for? Perhaps you could try and spend less time with your parents while you're there - focus on being with your brother when you're in the house and then go for walks/read a book in your room etc when it's just you and your parents?
I know it's hard, but it's worth it in the long-run to keep contact with your bro.
Hang in there
Max I'm staying til is the 16th, but that all depends on how bad this all gets.
I just always expect the worst, so when dad comes up to me, I'll automatically flinch then close my eyes, just waiting for him to lash out
I can't stop asking myself: Why me? Why do I deserve this? Why is it my fault?
Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
The first step to everything is to stop thinking as if you were the one with a problem.
They're a happy family without me in it. They all get along without me.
I think Indrid's point is that they're dysfunctional so they get on with one another. You see them for what they are and so it's hard for them to accept you.
Doesn't make it easy to feel an outsider, though, have a *hug*
Been told I should just 'get over it' (mental health, again!)
Leaving a bit earlier then I said I would, can't stay here much longer.
Thank you for the hug, have one back *hug*
Been told I should just 'get over it' (mental health, again!)
Leaving a bit earlier then I said I would, can't stay here much longer.
Thank you for the hug, have one back *hug*
I want to go home so bad
I know it's a long way to travel, and that it's expensive - but might be worth it to make it a better experience overall.
Within the first 2 hours of me being here they started.
I'd love to be able to come down and feel welcome and have a good time, I just think I'm asking for too much. I've tried to do everything they tell me to. And I've basically pretended to be completely normal and recovered so they wouldn't use my MH against me and would treat me like the rest of the family.
I guess I'll never be accepted and that's the hardest thing, because I will never give up on something. I want a family that accepts me and doesn't dislike me for who I am. And obviously knows it triggers me.
I really do appreciate all your replies, and apologise if I keep going on and on.
Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Everything is ruined.
Dad completely flipped out. And I ended up a massive mess.
I told them when I leave it will be the last time they see me cos I'm not wasting money on coming down any more.
I feel as though I've been too harsh in a way, and it's going to be hard not seeing the little brother any more
How are you doing?
It sounds like you had a difficult weekend. Do you want to talk about what happened? Are you still with your family or have you headed back?
They booked me tickets and I'm on my last train back toy own place now. Don't even know how to feel any more.
Just thought I'd check in and see how you are.
Now you're back home, have you had a chance to understand your feelings a bit? Did they say why they booked you a train?
Let us know how you're doing
So sorry that your family situation is like this and that it's affecting your relationship with your little brother. I wonder if there is any particular reason or event that has caused the hostility between you, or it is a case of personality clashes? Do you think there's any way to overcome your differences - even if it's only for the sake of your brother - or is the gap just too huge?
Maybe with a bit of space and time between you all you'll be able to find a way through? Or you might find that it's kinder to yourself to stop trying and go your own way for a while - even though it's sad it may be what you need.
Do you have any kind of counselling at the moment? If so, have you been able to discuss the family issues at all?
Hey hun,
sorry to hear what's been going on recently. If you would like to talk about it, message me
Frogs&Rain.xx