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I need advice

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
alright guys whats the deal...
For the first time i have encounter a guy whom is not aroused by me. Or rather ..maybe just isn't into sex at the moment...
I have never had this problem before and don't know what to do. I feel like the guy in the situation! We have talked about it briefly and he tells me it is because of his x.
They were together for 5 years, engaged and all, but he says he is ready to move on.
Its not like he is 40. He is very young and should'nt have a problem being stimulated.He says its not me...but man do i still feel like crap.
I've told him that we can just take things slow but in all honesty if we arnt able to have sex this will never work..
Any suggestions???
please help

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he obviously isnt over his ex yet and until he is, he wont be able to move on and give u wot u want. if you really like him then u'll wait till he's ready and if all ur after is sex from him then u'd be best to let him go and find someone who can give you wot u want.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by shazza:
    he obviously isnt over his ex yet and until he is, he wont be able to move on and give u wot u want. if you really like him then u'll wait till he's ready and if all ur after is sex from him then u'd be best to let him go and find someone who can give you wot u want.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I appreciate your response
    Sex isn't all i want from him.. And i am willing to wait..but i have been waiting for quite some time and will continue to do so longer...But i have to wonder ..is the chemistry just not there and is all this waiting just waiting to crash and burn...
    i have this luck..either im in an extreamly passionate relationship..and there isn't much talking or it is the reverse.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How much have the two of you talked about this? See if you can (together) figure out a way for him to move on from his previous relationship properly. Does he completely understand how frustrated you are? How long have you been together? If it's been a couple months, I can understand his not wanting to have sex yet. If it's longer than that, then maybe he isn't ready to be in a relationship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it has only been about 5 months since his relationship..we have known each other for quite sometime and above all are great friends...I asked him if maybe it was too soon, he said he was over the last girl.
    I also had to ask that serious question as to whether or not he was attracted to me ..he said yes very much so and that is why he is getting frustrated..
    I am asking some questions mostly for him. Cause i fear that now he is developing a complex of some sort..how do i really get down to dicussing more openly with him ...with out making him feel uncomfortable?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well it's always uncomfortable to talk about things like that, but if you're both willing then it won't be that bad.
    just explain to him your worried and tell him just what you posted, that you're scared he's developing some kind of complex and you know it's uncomfortable to talk about it but it has to be done.
    he cares about you, so he should be willing to talk about things.
    if you really think this is a serious problem, consider councelling.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm in somewhat of a similar situation which is getting more confusing but the min.
    but anyway ok back to u yeah talk to him if u guys have been friends it might be alittle uncomfortable but u should both be able to do it and I don't think he is over his ex even if he isn't able to admit it
    this waiting maybe just to crash and burn but what else r u going to do u can't keep things they way they r it's not fair to u

    I know I'm not perfect but I can smile
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks so much for the advice...
    it's also nice to know i'm not alone
    everyone's been really cool
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