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So soon...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi guys.

I broke up with my fiance about 2 1/2 weeks ago now. All pretty awkward, as I had started to have feelings for someone else and I just didn't feel that the relationship was really working out. My OH had been quite ill for some time and had pushed me away to the extent where we were sleeping separately and we had no affection at all.

I know it may seem like I have left him for the reason of the grass could be greener. I love him and care about him SO much but I suppose it is realising whether I am in love with him. The OG I have met a couple of times, and we are just 100% natural, click so well, have a great time - nothing has happened but a smooch. Am I wrong to be doing this???

Now my ex fiance has been offered a job 600 miles away, a fantastic opportunity and something I would NEVER want to hold him back on, however, it is something that he would never have even have thought about if we were together. Its something he has to decide upon this next coming week, and I think he has already made his decision but he wants to make sure he is making the right decision too.

I dont want to hold him back on doing this, but I'm scared for him considering his past 4 months illness, and him not having a support network around him at all. But then again on the other hand, I think it would be an amazing opportunity for him to do and experience.

Gah........ head mashed. We are meeting up tonight so we will see how things go. I think I have made my mind up I suppose it is just hard giving up on a 7 year relationship!



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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Captain wrote: »
    Am I wrong to be doing this???

    Quick answer, no.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cut ties for at least six months. You do what you like, he does what he likes. Give each other head space.

    That means that you're allowed to kiss your new fella if you want. After all, like you say it was the first guy who pushed you away.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Captain

    Did you guys meet up last night? How did things go - was anything decided about whether he's going away or not?

    Like you said, accepting that a 7-year relationship is over isn't easy - that's a long time to be with someone, and if you got engaged too then it was obviously pretty serious, so it's good you aren't taking this decision lightly.

    But things do change and evolve - and sometimes those changes don't include each other. Perhaps, like ShyBoy suggested, now is the time for a natural break? That way he can go off without any guilt and see if the new job/place are right for him while you have a breather from the difficulties of recent times with him. If it's not the right decision to split then you'll soon realise with a bit of time apart.

    If you haven't already read these, I'd recommend them as they have some great advice on getting over a relationship and accepting it's over and moving on.

    Let us know how things go :)
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