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Hello...again. From Wavy.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
For those of you who don't know, my name is Wavy (well that was my chat name, my real name will never be revealed), but I was quite the regular on Chat for the past couple of years and found it to be a big part of my life whenever it was open. I have a lot to owe to the good people of TheSite.org.
Earlier this year, I decided to take a hiatus from Chat so I could attempt to sort out my problems with my parents. They're good and all, but I'm still trying to persue most of these problems on my own. I don't want to put too much pressure on them and want them to enjoy their life.
A couple of days ago I got a random message from the lovely Simba which meant a lot to me, and to be honest...I miss you guys. And I feel really bad for deserting you.
I won't be able to go on Chat as much as I did before, but I am planning a return soon. And I will make some appearances on the forums, and hope to help you out with any problems if I feel I can be of any use.
I have just started seeing a counsellor. She's ok but is just trying to get to know me so it's just starting off. I've explained my problems to her and she is working to create solutions to these. I'm so happy that I can finally get to talk to somebody physically without feeling judged. These will be fortnightly appointments and it's a reasonable price. Same price as a video game, but for every 2 weeks this is the best thing I can spend money on if it is hopefully going to make me feel better in the long run.
Things have got really hectic for me lately in terms of work, my design hobby and socialising. There is a monthly event that I go to which has allowed me to make a few new physical friends, and has even enabled me to go out more than before. I even went out for a few drinks with a friend on Friday and had one of the best nights in ages.
For those of you who don't know as well, most of my ramblings on Chat used to involve this girl who I became friends with.
She plays a very special role in my life, and for over a year now I have fallen in love with her but to be honest never had the guts to tell her how I feel.
I felt that she was the best thing to have ever happened to me, and felt even sad enough to imagine my future with her. Every day I would think about showing her to my parents, sharing a house together, having a baby, and so on. She really is the most beautiful girl in the world (inside and outside), and if I could physically take my heart out I would give it to her.
But sadly, the more I see her, the more I feel insignificant to her. I'm just an ordinary boy (well man, I'm 27. kinda knocking on a bit now), and I know she wants more.
I can't provide her with Channing Tatum looks or a superior intellect or bags and bags of cash. But I know that my heart is in the right place, and ok I can be shy but that is something I can't help. She seems to only be interested in talking to me when she wants something, and whenever I try to talk to her online when she doesn't want something it feels like I'm not important enough. I can see this when she talks to other people, she invited me to a gathering recently and felt kind of out of place. And there's this other guy who seems to have muscled in and she seems taken in. I don't think they're dating as she's still mentioned about being single, but even in a friendship level this guy even seems better.
Most importantly, I've felt that the more I see her, the less interested I've become. This may be due to the fact that I feel not good enough for her, because of this ongoing situation I've seemed to have developed an inferiority complex and this has become one of my main issues.
As usual it makes me feel lonely, and in terms of online dating. I completely gave up with Plenty of Fish and deleted my account, possibly the worst website ever. Full of idiots so just want to waste time. Is it sad that for my life to feel complete, I have to be with somebody?
When you look like me, it can be hard to attract women. The dating game seems like playing a video game but on very hard difficulty.
Work has also become a bit of a nightmare. The moment I start, I count down the hours until I finish and when I get home, my bedroom is my capsule. I feel most happy in it. At this moment, I'm looking to concentrate on myself. My £5 a month subscription of Netflix is the best thing I have purchased in ages, so many films watched and enjoyed. And my new iPhone is also another close friend of mine. (Yeah, I upgraded to the iPhone 5) I hardly talk to many friends but the apps and games are very cool. And because I had the iPhone 4, I started using Siri now and it's pretty fun to use.
I've also joined a gym and went loads a couple of months ago, but haven't been since. I should really get back into it when I have time.
Ok ok, that is enough from me tonight and my ongoing ramblings. If you have read all this, then you are truly awesome and I appreciate you taking the time to do so. I just wanted something to type all of these down and feel safe.
Most importanly, I hope all of you are ok. And don't forget, you are all special in your own unique way. Never let anyone tell you any different. We're all meant to be here for a reason, let's all go find that very reason.
Love Wavy
x
Earlier this year, I decided to take a hiatus from Chat so I could attempt to sort out my problems with my parents. They're good and all, but I'm still trying to persue most of these problems on my own. I don't want to put too much pressure on them and want them to enjoy their life.
A couple of days ago I got a random message from the lovely Simba which meant a lot to me, and to be honest...I miss you guys. And I feel really bad for deserting you.
I won't be able to go on Chat as much as I did before, but I am planning a return soon. And I will make some appearances on the forums, and hope to help you out with any problems if I feel I can be of any use.
I have just started seeing a counsellor. She's ok but is just trying to get to know me so it's just starting off. I've explained my problems to her and she is working to create solutions to these. I'm so happy that I can finally get to talk to somebody physically without feeling judged. These will be fortnightly appointments and it's a reasonable price. Same price as a video game, but for every 2 weeks this is the best thing I can spend money on if it is hopefully going to make me feel better in the long run.
Things have got really hectic for me lately in terms of work, my design hobby and socialising. There is a monthly event that I go to which has allowed me to make a few new physical friends, and has even enabled me to go out more than before. I even went out for a few drinks with a friend on Friday and had one of the best nights in ages.
For those of you who don't know as well, most of my ramblings on Chat used to involve this girl who I became friends with.
She plays a very special role in my life, and for over a year now I have fallen in love with her but to be honest never had the guts to tell her how I feel.
I felt that she was the best thing to have ever happened to me, and felt even sad enough to imagine my future with her. Every day I would think about showing her to my parents, sharing a house together, having a baby, and so on. She really is the most beautiful girl in the world (inside and outside), and if I could physically take my heart out I would give it to her.
But sadly, the more I see her, the more I feel insignificant to her. I'm just an ordinary boy (well man, I'm 27. kinda knocking on a bit now), and I know she wants more.
I can't provide her with Channing Tatum looks or a superior intellect or bags and bags of cash. But I know that my heart is in the right place, and ok I can be shy but that is something I can't help. She seems to only be interested in talking to me when she wants something, and whenever I try to talk to her online when she doesn't want something it feels like I'm not important enough. I can see this when she talks to other people, she invited me to a gathering recently and felt kind of out of place. And there's this other guy who seems to have muscled in and she seems taken in. I don't think they're dating as she's still mentioned about being single, but even in a friendship level this guy even seems better.
Most importantly, I've felt that the more I see her, the less interested I've become. This may be due to the fact that I feel not good enough for her, because of this ongoing situation I've seemed to have developed an inferiority complex and this has become one of my main issues.
As usual it makes me feel lonely, and in terms of online dating. I completely gave up with Plenty of Fish and deleted my account, possibly the worst website ever. Full of idiots so just want to waste time. Is it sad that for my life to feel complete, I have to be with somebody?
When you look like me, it can be hard to attract women. The dating game seems like playing a video game but on very hard difficulty.
Work has also become a bit of a nightmare. The moment I start, I count down the hours until I finish and when I get home, my bedroom is my capsule. I feel most happy in it. At this moment, I'm looking to concentrate on myself. My £5 a month subscription of Netflix is the best thing I have purchased in ages, so many films watched and enjoyed. And my new iPhone is also another close friend of mine. (Yeah, I upgraded to the iPhone 5) I hardly talk to many friends but the apps and games are very cool. And because I had the iPhone 4, I started using Siri now and it's pretty fun to use.
I've also joined a gym and went loads a couple of months ago, but haven't been since. I should really get back into it when I have time.
Ok ok, that is enough from me tonight and my ongoing ramblings. If you have read all this, then you are truly awesome and I appreciate you taking the time to do so. I just wanted something to type all of these down and feel safe.
Most importanly, I hope all of you are ok. And don't forget, you are all special in your own unique way. Never let anyone tell you any different. We're all meant to be here for a reason, let's all go find that very reason.
Love Wavy
x
0
Comments
How are things going with your parents?
I'm glad you've started seeing a counsellor, that's a really good step! It can take a while for it to feel like it's helping, but stick with it because I'm sure it will a good thing in the long run.
Do you still feel totally in love with the girl, or are the feelings dying down a bit? I don't think it's a case of not being good for her, don't be so down on yourself, I think if you haven't told her how you feel then maybe she just doesn't know at all. If nothing works out with her, you will find someone one day honestly. Very few people end up alone, there is definitely someone perfect out there for you.
As for work, is there any way you could start looking for a job you enjoy more? It doesn't sound like you're happy working there at all, and that could lead to lack of motivation in other areas of life if you're feeling down.
Getting back into the gym would be a good idea from an emotional point of you, exercise can make you feel a lot happier and that a long with your counselling would probably be great
Great to hear from you wavy and it's really cool to get an update on where things are at for you
It sounds like you've really been enjoying your films so I wonder if you might like to check out our new Film club group on here: http://vbulletin.thesite.org/group.php?groupid=1
It sounds like you're really taking the time to focus on yourself so good on you :thumb:
don't believe we've met.... so welcome back!
My parents are good but I feel sometimes they don't take me seriously, and I feel like I let them down sometimes.
I still think this girl is pretty amazing, but I'm realising more and more that she's not interested in me. Don't get me wrong, she's still bubbly and friendly to me but I feel something is always missing. I was originally going to meet her on her own (and possibly tell her) yesterday but she had this group meal where I attended last night instead. I did feel pretty shy in comparison to everyone else, I did talk to people but knew I should've talked more.
Work is pretty hard to find where I live, but I will keep trying to find something good when my confidence gets back up.
I was so upset last night that I changed my counselor meeting to a few days earlier, so in the weekend I will be seeing her again.
Jo: Thank you for your reply, and I have made a nomination in the film club.
Miss Emily We haven't met but you have a lovely name.
Great to see you again!!:D
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Boy oh boy can i relate to a lot of your post :thumb: