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guilt free weekend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ive been in this relationship for quite some time now. im in love with this girl, and i know i want to marry her. but our relationship progressed very quickly. in the time we have been together, we have spwnt 4 nights apart at most. we bpth staryed feeling smothered, and missed being able to go out on our own. so we agreed to take a guilt free weekend. we were both completely ok with it. she alept with someone, and i didnt. knowing that i could was good enough for me. i told her to have fu., and i knew it was going to happen, but no.w that it has, im struggling. i still want to be with hre outer, but i cant figure out what to do or think.
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Well that was a terrible idea :crazyeyes
My only advice....don't get married
My new advice: dont sleep with someone else so you two will be 'even'. if you dont want to, then dont do it to prove some stupid point. what you need to do is prove to her that she has no reason to be guilty. forget this happened, move on and move past it, distract her with other things and show her how much she means to you, whether or not she is now 'tainted'
I wouldn't necessarily say she is, but the relationship certainly is.
She feels guilty, and as much as the OP claims to be ok with it (I don't believe him) there will be a point in the relationship where he resents her for it and it causes problems.
If you have issues in your relationship.....it's ridiculous to think that going out one weekend and fucking someone else will magically make everything ok. IMO
I think that's a disgustingly misogynistic comment from you...yet again!
She's not tainted, but is does sound like the both of you need to work out what it is you want from the relationship and how you can both change things to make it work. Have you thought about going to relate? I think there is an online version too but I can't remember the link so I'll have to come back to you on that one. If you are going to go on a break, what do you both want that to achieve? It's important you have a goal set otherwise it could just get messy. It sounds to me like you could both do with a holiday and some time out with each other - would maybe just a couple of days be possible? Is it worth just looking at how you can both spend more quality time together?
I hope that helps!
:yes:
Making goals while taking a break is important in order to know where you are aiming to get;
Relate (online/telephone or face to face) could also help in this situation as it seems problems were already occuring before that guilt free weekend, and still are clearly present now
Try to have a chat and see where this space could lead. Good luck, let us know how you get on *hug*
Stop throwing around "misogynistic" woman have more than equal rights now.
Misreading my comments or failing to ask more is just silly.
I just meant simply that, when you enter a relationship with someone you only sleep with your other half. If you sleep with someone else that bond is broken, you ever been cheated on? It's just that feeling that they're not yours anymore, and you're not theres. And whatever you had for each other really doesn't mean anything...
Anyway.
To the original poster.
What you can certainly see plain and clear is that.
You love her very much, as you clearly didn't see the need to go out and fuck someone, and just carried on as you were. Where as your girlfriend can't possibly feel the same way. If you love someone you simply don't want to screw other people, and/or see your other half upset.
I don't think anyone is really naive enough to think that no problem would ever come from a "Free weekend". If any girl asked me for one, or suggested it. It would sound alarms in my head like nothing else.
Just prepare yourself for a hard break up my friend.