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'Web sex not abuse'
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
After opening up to my 'psychologist' about sexual engagements via the internet, I have found myself in rather a rut more than anything. Exposing my breasts to older men on-line. Most people at my age range, know the joy you get out of normal sex, even though web-sex isn't the same, it still get's me what I need.
After breaking up with my partner a few weeks back, I find myself rather in a trap and unable to express my sexual desires other than it being over the internet. After opening up to my psychologist about the behaviour I was engaging in, he informed CEOP and Social services, as I'm still seen as a minor in their eyes.
It's behaviour I would like to stop, but I get a thrilling rush out of it and it's just constant night time thing. It's a similar rush to just watching porn, but not being as risky, but I prefer the web-sex, even if I can't see what it is all the time.
So, my psychologist thinks I'm being sexually abused via the internet, and meeting these 'older men's' desires, and they are using me, but it's out of choice, so I don't really see how it would fall in to me being at risk.
JamesIsNotOnFire
After breaking up with my partner a few weeks back, I find myself rather in a trap and unable to express my sexual desires other than it being over the internet. After opening up to my psychologist about the behaviour I was engaging in, he informed CEOP and Social services, as I'm still seen as a minor in their eyes.
It's behaviour I would like to stop, but I get a thrilling rush out of it and it's just constant night time thing. It's a similar rush to just watching porn, but not being as risky, but I prefer the web-sex, even if I can't see what it is all the time.
So, my psychologist thinks I'm being sexually abused via the internet, and meeting these 'older men's' desires, and they are using me, but it's out of choice, so I don't really see how it would fall in to me being at risk.
JamesIsNotOnFire
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However, ignoring your age briefly, It's a behaviour you aren't in control of, so these people are taking advantage of that - and taking advantage of someone is abuse.
What is it that gives you the thrill?
A lot of people get a kick out of being exhibitionist, but this is quite risky behaviour. What you put on the internet may never be able to be undone and this may have bad consequences for you later
I'm not to sure what you mean by it giving me some sort of validation, as I'm not really testing anything - I guess the issue for me, is it being on the internet and effecting the future. But like I said, I chose to do it, but I'm unable to control it, as much as I tell my self, I'm not going to do it today.
But then, I guess I'm at that point in life what many teenagers get, needing to watch porn, exploring, etc...
Tbf, i dont really have much feelings either way over people wanting internet sex. Youre over the age of consent, so go for your life, although id imagine that it is a self esteem boost for you, therefore validation of sorts.
Its also not healthy to not be able to stop yourself from engaging in sexual acts
That's a complete contradiction....
If you can't control it, then it's not a choice.
Also, if you are telling yourself "I'm not going to do it today", doesn't that suggest that deep down you don't want to do it.....and you are just addicted to whatever thrill it gives you?
As Suzy said, if having dirty old men wanking over you does it for you.....fair enough, but i personally don't think it's healthy behaviour and that there will be a point in the future when you seriously regret it.
Have you been abused in the past?
Minor is somebody under 18, is it not?
I get where you're coming from Neddy, and I do have the worry of how it may affect my future. I get most of the joy from the 'risk' of it all. The risky behaviour, often it's just me on webcam, and alternative people are not viewable, but I still do it, and I do want to stop, but I can't, if you get where I'm coming from?
Was hoping I would find someone in my situation to be honest, suggesting alternative ways to cope with this, or how to stop? I have been abused in the past, but it was quiet a long time ago now! - I've had social services involved in my case for quite some time.
Tbh from me own experience with that kinda thing and looking back at it i think to an extent it is abuse, because you're vunrable and they take advantage of that. Personally i think its risky and can be pretty damaging and wouldn't personally advocate it as being a good idea.
When i spoke about something like this we discovered a lot of it was down to my low self worth because of abuse and how i didn't view myself as worth much more. I think the best way to deal with it and stop it is it look at why you do it and maybe about your self worth and need to do it. I think best thing is to keep away from it and try and do things to occupy your time and talk about it with your therapist.
Until 18 there are still potential CP implications
Your therapist has a legal duty to disclose potential abuse, it is an area where the law gives no wriggle room. The law says it trumps your right to confidentiality. However I doubt anything will come of it, its just something that has to be done.
What do you get out of exposing yourself to strangers on the internet? Validation or a sexual thrill or both? You need to be careful as the internet is full of photos of teenage girls who've exposed themselves on webcam; those photos will never disappear. You need to think about that
But I'm at that age were sex seems great weather through the internet or in real life, even if I did do it in real life, who would I have sex with is a quesion? I'm no longer in a relationship. My webcam sex increased since breaking up with my boy friend and I'm still not sure as to why.
Welcome to the boards :wave:
It's good that you are able to share this here and get advice from different people- and if some have gone through something similar it can help
As it's been mentioned, the sexual age of consent in the UK is 16, and in terms of footage (picture or video) taken of you when you are under 18 is seen as a paedophilic image.
Have a look at our articles on the age of consent, safe webcam sex and an law outlook on indecent photographs.
Have you been able to talk to friends or family about this? Perhaps you could speak to someone about, as you say, feeling addicted - as it seems your therapist perhaps has taken a different approach on this. Perhaps calling Samaritans could help, as it is anonymous.
Let us know how you get on, and as everyone has mentioned, stay safe *hug*