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Poor health and relationships

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I don't know if I posted about this a few months ago or not.

But I have a pain condition which can be hugely fluctuating - some days I can walk with my stick and asides being slow and taking breaks every so often then I seem ok, other days I can't get out of bed. I have carers in twice a day to help with personal care.

I split up with my ex just over 2 months ago and I felt it was about time to start dating again. I've been on a few dates - but it suddenly struck me today, with how low my pain can make me feel am is it really right to inflict that on anyone else? Or am I just being a bit of a wet blanket and should just pull myself together?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot wrote: »

    with how low my pain can make me feel am is it really right to inflict that on anyone else? Or am I just being a bit of a wet blanket and should just pull myself together?

    If you start seeing someone they should take the whole of you and appreciate the good and bad in your life. If they are just after one thing then they are not worth it.
    I always think it's hard to love someone if you can't love yourself.

    I hope that makes sense, Miss_Riot?

    BB :heart:
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    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    I split up with my ex just over 2 months ago and I felt it was about time to start dating again. I've been on a few dates - but it suddenly struck me today, with how low my pain can make me feel am is it really right to inflict that on anyone else? Or am I just being a bit of a wet blanket and should just pull myself together?

    If you give someone the opportunity to decide for themselves then how can that be inflicting it? It would be their choice, right? Like BB said, as long as they love you for you, good and bad then why deny yourself happiness.
    xx *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Totally agree with the above, if someone truly loves someone, they will not care if that person is thin, fat or whatever, the person is what is important, their morals and their values, what they do.

    Think positive, I would say yes, pull yourself together, keep your chin up, you sound lovely from what I read.

    Single Men out there are not thinking, I wish I could meet someone in perfect health, they are thinking, I wish to meet someone nice who makes me happy and treats me with respect and we can spend nice time together.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you guys :)

    I'm having a bit of a downer right now about how I'm feeling physically, and I'm scared about the kind of effect it's having on my life. All my friends are working or brining up families and as much as I want to be doing those things so badly, right now I can't and I don't know if I'm going to get better in the future.

    I've been feeling like I'm never going to move on from where I'm at in my life right now. It's difficult when there's no answer to how things might be for me health wise in 2 months let alone 2 years.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot wrote: »

    All my friends are working or brining up families and as much as I want to be doing those things so badly, right now I can't

    I've been feeling like I'm never going to move on from where I'm at in my life right now.

    I can relate to how you're feeling. I must point out to you there is no 'set time' to achieve something in your life and everyone's journey is different. For example i keep beating myself up that i should be in uni by now but for several reasons i'm not there yet as my life has taken a different route. Everything happens for a reason. Put time in you, stop worrying about those around you because in the harsh realities of life, others don't give a shit unless it effects them directly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not so much beating myself up, more just being upset with how it is. I'm envious of what many others have, I missed most of my teens with crappy mental health, and now my twenties (and possibly the rest of my life) feel like they are being swallowed up too.

    Someone suggested I look at doing my masters, but I haven't the money to do it with the OU and my local uni doesn't do sociology or much similar. But I doubt I'm well enough.
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