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Crisis point?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Trigger warning: mentions suicide, self harm, hearing voices.
I am having intense suicidal and self destructive urges. It is becoming harder to control this, and some of the things I have been doing are very dangerous. I feel exhausted all the time and my mood is extremely low - the lowest I've been since coming out of hospital.
Suicide is becoming an increasingly appealling prospect, and I am hearing voices telling me I should kill/harm myself. Plus people are spying on me and plotting against me, so I am obviously a bad person, so surely suicide is the right thing to do.
But anyway, I know deep down I want to live - if I didn't then I'd be dead already - so this is my public cry for help. Am I reaching a crisis point and what can I do to stop this?
I am having intense suicidal and self destructive urges. It is becoming harder to control this, and some of the things I have been doing are very dangerous. I feel exhausted all the time and my mood is extremely low - the lowest I've been since coming out of hospital.
Suicide is becoming an increasingly appealling prospect, and I am hearing voices telling me I should kill/harm myself. Plus people are spying on me and plotting against me, so I am obviously a bad person, so surely suicide is the right thing to do.
But anyway, I know deep down I want to live - if I didn't then I'd be dead already - so this is my public cry for help. Am I reaching a crisis point and what can I do to stop this?
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Comments
Thanks, I appreciate it *hug*
I am such a pathetic useless brat :banghead:
you are not a pathetic useless brat.
Hold on to this if you can *hug*
Depression can play all sorts of tricks on the mind but holding on to that feeling you have deep down is really important - you want to live.
You ask how you can stop it - can you think of anything that has worked in the past to help lift your mood?
Letting things out here is one way that you can help yourself so well done for reaching out to us and do keep talking, there is always someone here to listen.
The next step would be talking honestly to someone face to face and letting then help you get some professional support. This can be really scary though and right now it sounds like you're not feeling very trusting of the people around you?
As Nutter says, you're not alone in these kind of feelings. Try and look after yourself, you deserve it
I can't trust the professionals. I know that now. I made the mistake of trusting one and that landed me in a psychiatric unit and there I found out they are working against me anyway.
I don't deserve it. I deserve to be shot for fucking up my family.
http://www.redbubble.com/people/bumpybrains/works/7506456-a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-to-waste
'a mind is a terrible thing to waste'
you are having problems yes, so am i, but we are so much more than just problems.
hmm... not sure what else to say but keep going...please..
What should I do?
Ignore them.
Not sure if I can help but I'll try. For me, getting advice and listening to others wasn't really helping, I had to find my own way of dealing with my issues, only then was I able to ask for help and take on board what others were telling me. I had to get to the point where I was believing in the advice, not just nodding my head to it.
I didn't think I deserved help either, and that it would make life easier on my family if I wasn't here, that I was just a weight around their necks. But the truth is everyone deserves help, (and I'm not one to be big headed) but I also think I've made life a bit easier for my family. Being supportive and helpful at times, there with a helping hand when needed. I think they are glad I didn't give in to my urges, that I didn't listen to the voices telling me to end it all.
Thinking of you hun. xx