what can i do....

Former Member

I've been suffering from alot of depression over the past few years.. But
recently it, amongst other things has forced the person I love out of my life..
It's destroying me.. She texts me saying she misses me she loves my she wants to
see me but she can't... Then the next day she will completely ignore me.. Then
the next shell call and act like everything's normal... One day shed say be
strong and show me this is real that you love me .. And that she won't even
consider getting back together UNTILL were both in better places.. But then
she's saying I have to show her that I believe she's serious about this.. And
that I don't want her just because I can't have her.. I'm madly in love with her
and I don't want to lose her from my life .. But she is messing with my head.. I
just don't kno how she really feels.. One day I feel like she wants me to try
and then like she doesn't care... She says she loves me and misses me .. But
then doesn't want to talk to me.. I've got such mixed messages and its driving
me insane and I can't take it anymore.. I'm scared of even contacting her cos
I'm pushing her away.. And when I do I just get indifference.. But when she
wants to talk she expects everything from me.. I'm just hanging on to her every
word waiting for some sign.. She brings me up and acts like she really wants to
be part of my life again.. But then shoots me down again.. It's killing me.. She
said the other day that she didnt want to feel like she wasn't single at the
moment and that if we were both to see other people and then still want to be
with each other then that would clarify it more for her... And that to get back
together she wants it to be new and fresh.. And we have to tract each other
naturally.. But how can I do that if she feels like us not seeing/contacting
each other is the way to go about it.. I'm so confused and it kills me every
second of the day.. I can't concerntrate on anything and i keep having panic
attacks... I want to just call her and tell her I miss her and I love her... She
told me that I never made that obvious enough and she thought she loved me more
than I did.. But now I feel I can't even show her that's not true.. Cos she
won't believe me.. Or cos I'm only doing to get her back... I'm so lost and
alone and I don't have anyone to talk to .. I don't kno what to do.. What's
best.. I want her bak in my life and I just don't kno what to do... How I do
show her this is real?? How can I make her belive me? How can I prove my love
for her and win back her heart... It's making me sic.. I can't eat or sleep.. I
can't work.. I'm so scared of losing her for good.. So scared someone will have
the chance before I do.. So scared I won't be able to hold her again... And that
she is forcing herself away from me...
She said everything in her body wants to come over and for it to be alright but
it can't be that quick. .. Implying she does want to make it work.. But then
implies the complete opposite... I don't kno what to do... I just can't lose her
my life is nothing without her.. She is my soul mate and I want to be with her
forever...

Former Member

i kno i sound rather desperate but would appreciate any advice

Former Member

I can't offer any advice myself, but people will be along to help. You did post this message in the early hours of the morning (UK time) so many people will have been in bed. So don't panic or feel that you have been abandoned in any way.

Former Member

she wants you to prove that you believe shes serious about you, even though she then keepsignoring you or leaving you or telling her that you cant be together??

Thats actually fucked up and mentally abusive

She isnt your soul mate

Former Member

I kno it is .. But she has been suffering from mental issues and recently it seams quite bad, she lost her job and hasn't found a new one.. I love her so much and I am willing to look past all this.. I just want to kno what the right thing to do is... Do I just leave her alone for a bit and give her space to think about what she wants?? Or do I try to "prove" myself to her.. I fell I'm just shooting myself in the foot either way.. She means the world to me and I can't just let her dissapear from my life .. She means far to much to me for that.. It's easy to just say she's acting crazy but there's alot more to it I think. She's obvs just extremely conflicted about what she wants.. I really will do anything to prove to her that we can make this work.. I kno we can. And I kno I can't force her feeling and I don't want that.. I just want the chance to show her and to make things alright again.. And I really just don't kno what I should do...

Former Member

if you love her so much, then dont look past this, because youre not doing her any favours by enabling the abuse.

If you really believe that shes a good person underneath, then back off and ask her to get help, while you get help too, and also accept that even if you love her and vice versa, then this might not be a good time for you both, and to take a break while you both sort your heads out, with a view to getting better and being together later

Former Member

What do u mean by not let it go? do i confront her about it?? tell her shes mentally abusing me? would that even help anything??If I leave her alone I fear she will just distance from me more.. But if I put any pressure on the situation ill only make it worse too...I kno she's made it clear that were both "single" right now but I just can't bear the thought of it..

Former Member

have some self respect because she isnt respecting you. Dont act desperate, or she will see you as not valuable

Former Member

So do u think leaving it for a bit, letting her come to me if she feels like she wants to, is the best option at this time..? I don't want to act desperate.. Or for her to think that.. I'm just scared I won't show her what she wants me too it how I really feel about her..

Former Member

So I've left it a bit so far.. Had not much contact .. But it just seams to be making it worse.. Things are getting cold.. I'm not sure if I should hold out or if she's waiting for me to make a move.. Or if she just doesn't want me too at all.. Rather confused about what I should be doin and what's right for the situation.. I don't wanna play silly games.. I wanna follow my heart but I just really don't want to mess this up... I don't wanna be shooting myself in the foot everytime I attempt to contact her...