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Career vs personal life
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Work & Study
I'm currently pondering what I want to do next with my career and life.
Some advanced warnings - this is likely to be long and somewhat rambling, it's also likely to be more about me getting things straight in my head as actually asking for advice, and it's probably pushing the limits of a 16-25 target age board. That said, you guys are pretty good in general and at the moment, and insight I can get is probably a good thing.
The background goes something like this.
I'm getting into the last 6 months of a graduate training programme with my employer. It's a 3 year programme, and while you're on it the system has pretty much total control of what job you do and where. I work for a big multinational company as an engineer. I've got good A levels, a 2.2 degree and a masters in my subject and am currently getting feedback at work that says I'm doing really well. (:eek2: sounds arrogant). I am facing up to reality that I am proper geeky engineer through and through, and definitely not completely normal, whatever that might be. I'm also a she, for those who don't know. Not that that should really matter but for some things it kind of does. Since joining the company I've changed jobs and locations to very different places and roles every year. Add uni onto that and I've moved house every year for the last 8 years.
The current issue is:
Come September time I will no longer be a graduate trainee, and have the potential to change jobs (within the company) or stay in the same job on the site I'm currently based at.
At the moment, I probably only spend half of my time doing the job I'm supposed to be doing. I spend the other half covering roles that should be done by other people, but are currently vacant roles or dealing with 'emergent issues'. The bit of my time I spend doing my proper job I don't really like. I live somewhere distinctly odd and very remote. The idea of staying in the middle of nowhere to do a job I don't really like doens't appeal, and as time moves on I'll be doing less of the other stuff and more of my proper job.
So, the overall options are to:
1. Stay in the same place and stay in the same job
2. Stay in the same place and change jobs
3. To throw my fate into the system and tell it that I want to move back to civilisation and get them to find me something
4. To try and find myself something else in civilisation
5. Quit and get a new job at a different company
The easy options are to do 1 or 3. Stay put doing the same job (:yuck:) or throw myself to the system and see what that comes up with (:nervous:). The system has a distinctly mixed track record.
I've had some initial conversations about 2 with a couple of the team leaders at the current place, who have said there's the potential for me to move into their teams. Both would be potentially very good career moves, as they'd be a 'stretch' role. One that I'm technically not experienced enough for but they'd be willing to take me on if they think I'd be able to manage. The downside is that the life outside work where I currently live is very restricted - and it would be commiting to staying here for a while longer. I'm single, live in a shared house, and the chances of meeting someone here are pretty low. It would be putting off a return to the 'real world' til I'm 28/29 in favour of building the career.
If I throw myself to the system, I'd get a standard 'just off the grad programme' role somewhere. I'd still be really junior, it would be starting over doing something new and I'd have to build up my expertise and reputation somewhere again, which from experience takes about 6 months to achieve.
If I try and find myself something else in a more normal location - I'm not sure where to start or what I want.
I also need to try and work out how to balance my dislike of moving every year, which basically means spending at least a 1/3 of your life with moving house on your mind; and the downsides of living in the current place. Do I stay living in remote land just to avoid having to move and start over again, or do I take the hit of moving and starting over as a step towards building a more normal life that's not just all about the work.
Anyone got any thoughts, or questions that I might want to ask myself? Or any ideas of reading between the lines what you think I'd prefer? At the moment, it seems the more I talk about it to other people the things start to get slightly clearer in my mind.
Some advanced warnings - this is likely to be long and somewhat rambling, it's also likely to be more about me getting things straight in my head as actually asking for advice, and it's probably pushing the limits of a 16-25 target age board. That said, you guys are pretty good in general and at the moment, and insight I can get is probably a good thing.
The background goes something like this.
I'm getting into the last 6 months of a graduate training programme with my employer. It's a 3 year programme, and while you're on it the system has pretty much total control of what job you do and where. I work for a big multinational company as an engineer. I've got good A levels, a 2.2 degree and a masters in my subject and am currently getting feedback at work that says I'm doing really well. (:eek2: sounds arrogant). I am facing up to reality that I am proper geeky engineer through and through, and definitely not completely normal, whatever that might be. I'm also a she, for those who don't know. Not that that should really matter but for some things it kind of does. Since joining the company I've changed jobs and locations to very different places and roles every year. Add uni onto that and I've moved house every year for the last 8 years.
The current issue is:
Come September time I will no longer be a graduate trainee, and have the potential to change jobs (within the company) or stay in the same job on the site I'm currently based at.
At the moment, I probably only spend half of my time doing the job I'm supposed to be doing. I spend the other half covering roles that should be done by other people, but are currently vacant roles or dealing with 'emergent issues'. The bit of my time I spend doing my proper job I don't really like. I live somewhere distinctly odd and very remote. The idea of staying in the middle of nowhere to do a job I don't really like doens't appeal, and as time moves on I'll be doing less of the other stuff and more of my proper job.
So, the overall options are to:
1. Stay in the same place and stay in the same job
2. Stay in the same place and change jobs
3. To throw my fate into the system and tell it that I want to move back to civilisation and get them to find me something
4. To try and find myself something else in civilisation
5. Quit and get a new job at a different company
The easy options are to do 1 or 3. Stay put doing the same job (:yuck:) or throw myself to the system and see what that comes up with (:nervous:). The system has a distinctly mixed track record.
I've had some initial conversations about 2 with a couple of the team leaders at the current place, who have said there's the potential for me to move into their teams. Both would be potentially very good career moves, as they'd be a 'stretch' role. One that I'm technically not experienced enough for but they'd be willing to take me on if they think I'd be able to manage. The downside is that the life outside work where I currently live is very restricted - and it would be commiting to staying here for a while longer. I'm single, live in a shared house, and the chances of meeting someone here are pretty low. It would be putting off a return to the 'real world' til I'm 28/29 in favour of building the career.
If I throw myself to the system, I'd get a standard 'just off the grad programme' role somewhere. I'd still be really junior, it would be starting over doing something new and I'd have to build up my expertise and reputation somewhere again, which from experience takes about 6 months to achieve.
If I try and find myself something else in a more normal location - I'm not sure where to start or what I want.
I also need to try and work out how to balance my dislike of moving every year, which basically means spending at least a 1/3 of your life with moving house on your mind; and the downsides of living in the current place. Do I stay living in remote land just to avoid having to move and start over again, or do I take the hit of moving and starting over as a step towards building a more normal life that's not just all about the work.
Anyone got any thoughts, or questions that I might want to ask myself? Or any ideas of reading between the lines what you think I'd prefer? At the moment, it seems the more I talk about it to other people the things start to get slightly clearer in my mind.
0
Comments
I think that given the work you do that you'll always struggle to be in a "normal" location, unless you're essentially happy to fly a desk and never go anywhere or do anything. Regardless of where you are there will be an element of distance in your relationships, and I don't think having the commitment to remain in one place would do any harm about that.
You're young, focus on the work for now and push yourself intellectually. I think you need that at this stage in your life.
I guess in a way it comes down to:
Will having something really fulfilling at work make me happy overall and the personal side of life will settle down in parrallel
or
Is life not all about work, and it's just there to pay the bills.
Different answers for different folks I guess. I'm currently wondering that I might be enough of a freak that to stay happy overall I am possibly better off being somewhere where I can be an ubergeek when I'm working, and then slot stuff into the gaps.
That being said, work has to stimulate, if it doesn't you need a new thing to do.
The catch is that they are in the arse end of no where.
How do you go about working out whether it's worth it?
Things that I like to do that require a "somewhere" are usually once a month and are a day trip (like the zoo) or a weekend away (like visiting Roo and Cousin Slagface in leeds). So being nowhere is not necessarily a massive barrier.
Furthermore, if you're into climbing, caving, mountain biking or walking the arse end of nowhere could be ideal. The arse end of nowhere is only a big issue if you expect bright lights big city every day.
I think the issue you need to think about is that your job, by its nature, tends to be in more remote areas. This is true regardless of who you work for and what your specialisation is; so far as I can tell, the closest your job gets to civilisation is Middlesbrough.
I don't think that being in a remote area should affect your ability to have relationships or friendships, or if it does it's no more than any sort of distance. I probably get to see my girlfriend once a fortnight now and we're separated by less than three hours on an express train service. My good friend had her partner in Dubai for three years. It shouldn't affect things. But, even beyond that, I think you'd be mad to sacrifice a promising career in exciting and challenging environments on the off-chance of having a boyfriend. Especially as not all the scenery in your neck of the woods is bad
From your original post it sounded like you're not really enjoying what your 'proper' job would be if you stayed at the company. Then later you say that there could be "potentially some *really* good career move options available to me later this year, which would be a good challenge and very stimulating."
Could it be that you're not warming to the environment at the moment because you're finding the work a bit boring? Perhaps, with a promotion and a proper role to get your teeth into, you'd start to feel more positive about the location? Like others have said, being remote doesn't have to mean it's boring but you probably do need to put more effort in to meeting people/doing things.
On the other hand, you've just done an impressive graduate trainee scheme... I don't know much about the engineering industry, but in many industries, having this on your CV will put you above the other graduate applicants. So, if you do want to look around then you're in a strong position to find work elsewhere.
Have you looked around at the jobs market in your field to see if there's much else that interests you that you could apply for at your level? If there are loads of jobs that make you think 'wow, I wish I was doing that' then maybe you should move on - if not, that could be your answer?
Though as a child with a father in a similar job i would suggest that as you get older and have more family ties you stay in one place - or take your children with you.
Currently I don't think I'd achieve much moving to another company. That might be a different question in 18 -24 months time, but at the moment the only reason to jump would be if my current employer really pissed me off. I've got less than 3 years experience since graduating and haven't got my professional qualification yet. In that context, if I moved it would likely be for a pay cut and probably to less responsibility than I'd have if I stayed. I've managed somehow to get myself a pretty good reputation with my current employer and as such there's good potential to push the limits of what you'd let someone who looks like me on paper do.
I've had some conversations over the past few weeks about future options; and there are some things that really take my fancy for 2 years down the line. The challenge is what to do between now and then. If I throw my hat into the lottery category then I'll likely not get the career progression that I would if I try and set something up in the area I'm currently known. Leaning towards setting something up through the tangible options this time, get some more experience and responsibility under my belt and then go for exotic with that further support behind me.
It's now looking like I could move back to a city if I wanted, and the management of the site I currently work out will help me get a decent and interesting job there; or I can stay in the middle of no where and be part of the revolution that's currently going on.
Really early indications are looking hopeful for what arctic said of getting an overall package of renumeration and holiday to take the edge off staying put in the middle of nowhere.
Others are right as well, lots of us live in "bustling areas". Makes sod all difference if all you're doing is working, going home, eating your dinner and going to bed. I've just moved further out into the countryside, best move I ever made. If anything my social life has improved because I see my brother more.
Theres a skill shortage in what I do. Much as I hate it there's also a diversity issue, which goes in my favour. The job will be hard work and a massive challenge, but should lead to either one broken rocking in a corner Scary Monster, or a 'Fuck me, we want her, she's got a fab range of experience'.
As a woman engineer, this is the worst advice ever.
We're still pretty much in a place where we have to prove we're better than the boys to have any hope of being considered equally. Some industries more than others, but fiend and I have both got that some. If I go for staying in the arse end of no where I will be doing a proper 'boy' job - which means for future stuff I'll have proved I can hold my own so offering the potential manager a girl ( who will look good on his stats) who has easily proven that she's up to it and has the experience.
I guess in a way it's a case of if I stick with a management team that know me well, I can prove myself to the outside world and then go on to other things
Am possibly going to be offered a job in the 'real world' that's the kind of thing I was probably aiming to be doing in about 2 years time. As such it would be a hell of a stretch, it's pretty much guaranteed to be stressful and require me to do a lot of learning very quickly. In theory it should come with a fair amount of support because the person offering it knows that I'd be skating on out of my depth. In many ways it's a fantastic opportunity, because there's loads going on that would make it a good challenge. It also involves working with a project team (although not part of it) that's not going well, which will bring it's own challenges.
It's one of those throw you in at the (very) deep end, and see if you cope type things. Or I could stay in the comfortable jobs I where I know where I'm at.
It's probably the exact job I was aiming for in about 2 years time, so like the area of engineering.
Geographically it's where I lived before I moved to the rock, in the office the floor above the one I used to work in. So know what I'm getting from that point of view. The commute has hellish traffic, although it's not a bad journey really and time wise is the same as my current one.
As for whether I can learn that fast, that's the bit I really don't know. My gut feeling is that it would be way, way, out of my depth. The opinion from higher up, where the idea is coming from, is that with the right support I should be able to learn it and that so far I've apparently shown that I can deal with things that come flying at you.
I guess it comes down to whether I go with what I think I can manage, or what someone else thinks I can manage (which is a lot more than I think I can do).
I was leaning towards trying to get a kind of junior version of this job, on the site I'm currently on. This would be being the main person, on a different plant.
Fundamentally.
I seem to have a kind of golden girl image, my reservation is that I don't fully understand what I've done in particular to earn this image. On that basis my worry is that it's all a mistake. Hoping to have a chat with my boss from my old job this afternoon, who might be able to shed some light on where the image came from.
All that said, it's being offered with a lot of support, so if it does all start to fall apart should be people to help with the catching.
It comes down to how much you trust your seniors to support you. Being chucked in at the deep end is one thing, something I think you'd be driven by and enjoy, but you do need others around you to make sure you float.
For pretty much all of the reasons you guys gave me. Have to apply through the official route, which means that the plan for tonight is now CV writing.
Think the last CV I wrote was 6 years ago, and tried to play down any academic qualifications - so could be a challenge.
Professional Profile (Talking about what I want from my career and how I work, 1 paragraph)
Skills (A skill and a sentence or SHORT paragraph supporting it, e.g Computer Skills, Teamwork, Time-critical working
Qualifications
Employment History (each job includes a list of my responsibilities)
Personal Interests (Rounds me out as an individual, 1 paragraph)
Two pages total.