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I'm scared and I'm low
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I want to run away and disappear from everything. Struggling to cope.
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So sorry to read your post... Is there anything that's triggered these feelings or have they been brewing for a while? Is there anyone you can call or be with right now?
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*hug*
If things get worse it might be worth going to hospital. you shouldn't have to be alone feeling like this
It sounds like everything that would normally matter and mean something to you in day to day life suddenly becomes irrelevant when the reality hits that the two people who mattered to you most aren't here. It might be that your focus during this time is: "How is my future important without them?"
We can't take those feelings away - or over-estimate how painful this is for you. I'm not sure there's anything comparable.
All we can remind you is that you are part of your mum and will always carry part of Isla with you - And that your ability to self preserve matters to all of us. We care about you as the others have said, as well as really gaining lots from knowing you - you bring so much
Do you think you can find some energy to put into self preservation? This will mean pulling yourself away from finding somewhere like the riverside to dwell. I'm aware that you are probably going through a process to an extent, it's just good to think of ways to break cycles...
Keep posting and let us know what you think
You will always be a mum, Isla will always be with you, and nothing is going to take that away.
I am so happy to know such a lovely girl like you, your sweet and kind and are always there for everybody. We want to be here for you too.
I am so sorry that things are bad with you, Here for you if you need a chat. *hug*
And, there's no replacement for Isla but, remember she was part of you once and wherever she's now, it hurts her too, to see you like this.
Please try to be strong, for you.
Lots of love and hugs to you.
xx sam*hug*
Do you think my dad is all done in because we're grown up and left home? I know its not the same, but you can be something other than a mum, until you have more babies. And you can tell your next kid about her big sister one day.
Just, being a parent isn't all you are, having children to care for isn't what makes you a parent now. There is more to come.
According to my flatmate, it is all my fault.
So sorry to post those questions and then not be here when you responded. And also so sorry to hear that you're still feeling low *hug*
I'm not sure how your flatmate could have said those things to you as they're incredibly insensitive and hurtful, I can only hope that she said them out of ignorance. Is there any way you can get a little space from her for the time being as it sounds like she is quite a negative presence in your life? Not at all what you need at a time like this.
Anniversaries are always a difficult time of year and it must be so difficult to have two such important ones close together. One thing I've found helpful at this time is to get photos out, be with someone who understands, drink a toast to them and reminisce about the good times. It might be too soon to do this, of course, but some kind of little remembrance in whichever way you feel is right might help?
Take care of yourself and please keep posting here as so many people want to offer you their support
I find looking at photos can make me feel worse, it reminds me of when my family cared and wanted to know me. Found some photos of Isla though, which I'm going to get framed.
yeah, I can see how the photo thing can make things harder - I think everyone's different and also, as time goes on different things can suddenly help when they didn't before. I hope that framing the pictures of Isla will be positive for you