Whats wrong with me?

Former Member

Im kind of at my wits end now and no matter what i try i can't feel better. For the last 2 and nearly 3 years i've been pretty depressed and suicidal at times and been phasing between over eating and starving. Since September its been getting worse again and i keep hearing voices >< who put me down constantly and tell me to do things. and the self harms gotten worse and i don't like it >< its like i have to do it as many times as the voice decides and can't stop before that which is usually quite high. I also have weird phases where i go really child like, i dunno what it is and although can see it can't stop it and i don't know why. Im also pretty paranoid and don't trust people and don't socialise much because i don't want to see people and find it hard to socalise with people cos of how i feel.
I just want to know what's wrong with me now, cos its hard coping with all this and want it to stop.

Former Member

It really worries me that you can't get proper treatment due to the expense. But this is the sort of thing that a support worker of some kind should be able to help you with. Do I remember rightly that you have one?

Former Member

I went to the doc like a month ago and the youth service paid for me to go but he didn't really listen to what i was trying to say - but then i guess i could of said more, but them people are again you y'know and don't care :l
Not any more, but got me counsellor and i finally told her bout the voice or 'Annie' as i call her and what she says and the images.. and she mentioned camhs but i have to wait to hear out and got a feeling its just gonna be waiting for agers and dunno if i have loads of time to wait. Its hard to cope on me own with one hr a week help ><

Former Member

I know it's a bit of a tired cliche here now, but the Samaritans really are worth their weight in gold when it comes to keeping people going during the week.

Would you consider calling them (or anyone) when Annie gets going, to try and ground yourself?

Former Member

mmm i have tried before but i always end up hanging up, i do use the childline online chat and sometimes talk to people in other places, but nothing makes it stop

Former Member

Hi Alfie
How are you feeling today? It must be upsetting and scary to hear voices, especially if they're putting you down and encouraging you to self-harm.

I just wondered if you'd heard of The Voice Collective? It's a really useful site that has loads of info about hearing voices and might help you understand it a bit better. I took this snippet from there:

"Hearing voices or seeing visions is much more common than most people think. Around 8% of children and young people hear voices that others don't."

They advise you to follow these five steps when you hear voices:

Tell someone
Take a deep breath
Breaking the cycle
One step at a time
Finding your strength again

It goes into a lot more details on their site.

It is so frustrating that you can't get access to free help. I know Smaritans has been suggested, but you could also try calling a mental health helpline, such as:

Mind
0300 123 3393

Sane
0845 767 8000

*hug*

Former Member

Don't feel great and i dunno i don't find the voices too scary more the images and seeing stuff ><
and yea i been on it a few times.
I do try to ignore it and stuff but sometimes they're so loud and i can't stop myself and just attack things >< i dunno what's wrong with me just want it to stop.

Former Member

Alfie wrote: »

got me counsellor and i finally told her bout the voice or 'Annie' as i call her and what she says and the images.. and she mentioned camhs but i have to wait to hear out and got a feeling its just gonna be waiting for agers and dunno if i have loads of time to wait. Its hard to cope on me own with one hr a week help ><

Just wanted to say well done for telling your counsellor. That's a really important step. An hour a week isn't much but it's great that you're getting this support From what we know about CAMHS it's also worth following up if you don't hear anything within a week or so - there may be a waiting list but chasing it up may help to speed things up.

One idea for your next counselling appointment would be to tell her that you'd like to work on some ways to cope inbetween sessions? Working on some ideas together might give you some positive things to focus on during the week.

In the mean time do keep posting, sometimes it can help just to be heard and we're always listening here

Former Member

Basicly told i aint gonna get any help, dunno why i bother. Annie was right i don't deserve help, im so stupid and pointless. Just feel like giving up right now cos got nothing to keep going for ><.