Feeling Low (Don't know why)

Former Member

I am not to sure what to write, so I will just kinda write whats comes into my head about I feel.

The s/h is getting worse, and I just don't feel like myself anymore. I can't open up to anybody, the Samaritans help and posting on here, but I just can't be honest with anybody about how I am feeling. I am lying to everybody around me and myself. I am pretty sure that isn't normal.

I want to be myself and okay again, but to be honest I don't know when I was last okay and happy.

I have started to take my medication everyday like I am supposed to, so hopefully after a few weeks I will start to feel okay again maybe. Cos I usually am so up and down with my tablets and I don't want to be this way anymore.

Just fed up of everything at the minute.

Thanks for reading x

C

Former Member

Well done for getting back on your meds. I know you've heard it before. But the next way forward is to start talking to your GP or get a referral to somone else. And being honest with them.

Aurora

Just wanted to respond with many, *hug*'s Claire, well done for being able to post this thread and asking for support, proud of you, as always! We need a Skype convo sometime soon, it's been a few days, but I've been busy, maybe tonight, depending on the work I get from College today? And hoping Llamas don't attack and take over

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment Claire I echo what Fiend said really, I'm glad your considering going back on your meds and getting in to a routine, I do hope that helps more

I'm glad you've managed to find ways the help you when it comes to talking about yourself! - Do keep us updated on how things are going for you! I'm not to sure what to say Claire, I really just wanted to offer you lodes of Hugs! *hug* *hug* *hug*!

Former Member

Thank you
I was honest with my doctor a while ago and she just highered my medication.
But i will speak to her again..

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Former Member

Thank you Angel lovely. Yeah a skype chat sounds lovely cant do tonight though.
Always here for you and hope your okay

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Aurora

You're at TheSite towers tonight, are you not! -Drum Roll- If you are, don't actually take a spider with you *Wink* *Wink* I'm good thanks, had an amazing evening yesterday, even though I was ill, haha, but dragged my siblings along and made them deal witht the dread of being bored and got a big slice of Chocolate cake, nomnomnom!

Always look out for Llamas to Will drop you a text, for randomez later to annoy you Here for you to I do hope you enjoy your evening with TheSite people! Lovely bunch, but I think some might bite!

Former Member

Yeah im at TS towers this afternoon for two hours yes ew no spiders are scary.
Glad you had a nice time lovely. Sorry to hear about you feeling ill. Get well soon. I love you lots like jelly tots
Will text you later lovely. Xx

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Aurora

Jelly Tots must be really nice if you love me that much Spiders can be scary, you choose to fear them. Unless there like, er...Spiders that don't look like spiders, trying to think what I have a phobia off now - Haha, can't think of anything

How far is London for you? I can only imagine the journey, and the distance it would be to get there! It takes 3 hours from here!

Former Member

Yesssh they are nommy.
Clowns are scary too haha
London is about 1hour 40mins but i think there are delays today...


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Former Member

Urgh my family seriously annoy me.
Sorry rant over..

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Former Member

Gives up. I hate feeling this way. I don't even know what to do anymore. Everything is a mess..:(

Former Member

Hey Claire, was great to see you yesterday :thumb:

Do you want to tell us a bit more about what's going on? Has something happened with a family member that's upset you?

Hope you're okay and enjoying the break from work *hug*

Former Member

Yeah was really nice to see everyone too

Just dont feel strong enough to deal with everything. My mental health is just screwed. My family dont understand and I cant deal with trying anymore. Basically i keep trying to talk to them but getting no where and feel alone in all this.

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Former Member

urges. just given up..:( i'm done.

Reena

ClaireStephanie wrote: »

The s/h is getting worse, and I just don't feel like myself anymore. I can't open up to anybody, the Samaritans help and posting on here, but I just can't be honest with anybody about how I am feeling. I am lying to everybody around me and myself. I am pretty sure that isn't normal.

Hi hun. Getting back into the swing of things after being ill and saw your post.
Just wanted to say that I think it is normal, as part of depression that is. Depression itself is common but not right. No-one should feel like that. Don't feel like it's not normal or that you aren't, it's part of feeling low. Mixed up emotions, confused, up and down, all part of it.
Mega hugs, Reena. xx *hug* *hug* *hug* *hug*

Former Member

I can't cope anymore... I am done trying.

Aurora

Oh dear Claire, I wish I could give you a massive hug in real life! But Virtual ones will have to do *hug*'s!

What's been going on? I've known you for quiet some time now, and since I've known you, you've shows a lot of strength and courage, which you should be proud of yourself for and posting on here, shows that you still have hope and that you're not done trying, but you do just need someone to reach out to!

I'm sorry to hear you can't cope, you said you were tired earlier, did you manage to get any sleep in the end? *hug*

Always here for you

Former Member

Thank you for the hugs.

It's just one thing after another, I am in agony with my toe and the doctors have basically said they can't do anything cos I am immune to anti biotics even though it's infected and I can only take a set amount of painkillers in a day, and I am not getting it sorted til the 28th January. and gotta deal with the pain for that long.

I wanna s/h and the urges are hard to deal with. I honestly can't do this. I know in the past it may seem like I have coped with things but the truth is, I haven't I damage my body and I don't care anymore. I am in a vicious circle. I really don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I just don't deserve to be here anymore. I don't deserve the help and support. People hate me, so I must be a horrible person.

I just need to get away from everything. I just want to feel safe, I don't want to hurt myself but I can't stop. I have to hurt myself. I have to.

Reena

You do deserve help and support. And who hates you? I don't think anyone here hates you, so how can you be a horrible person? -Not possible, when so many on thesite care about you. You can get through this, it will be so worth it in the end. xx *hug*

Former Member

I don't

Just people hate me, in general. I am a horrible person.

I can't get through this. I am in a bad way right now. And I don't know what to do about it

Former Member

Hey ClaireStephanie

I'm really sorry to hear that your toe is causing you pain - the end of January must feel like ages away. It's not surprising that being in pain is making it harder for you to deal with SH urges.

But it does sound like you're being really hard on yourself. When we feel low it's easy to see the world, and our lives, through a much harsher perspective. Like others have said here, many people at TheSite care about you and like you, so please don't tell yourself you're horrible. I've seen you give loads of advice and support to others and your posts never sound horrible to me, just kind and supportive.

I know this has been said many times before, but do you have any distractions that work for you?

These tips from the dealing with urges article may also help:

- The 15-minute rule - if you're feeling the urge to self-harm, give yourself 15 minutes before you do. Distract yourself by going for a run or writing down your feelings. When the time's up, see if you can extend it by another 15 minutes. Try to keep going until the urge subsides.
- Meditation - try to visualise the urge as an emotional wave you can surf. Imagine it reaching a crescendo then breaking as you successfully resist its force.
- Write a list of things you've achieved that make you feel proud, or fill a box with things that make you happy, such as pictures of friends and loved ones. Keep them handy and look at them when you're feeling bad.
- Practice expressing your emotions and feelings through art or writing or talking to a friend.

Big hugs
Spanner

Reena

Of course you do.
I'm sure you think that because of the depression, I know I use to. You ARE NOT a horrible person. Trust me, I've known some horrible people, you're not one of them. From what I've read, you are a kind, caring, funny, selfless person. It seems to me you don't know your own worth. -I can understand that. *hug*
You deserve to be HAPPY. xx

Former Member

Yeah the end of January is ages away. It's just one thing after another.

I have tried distractions, and nothing really helps. I just want to disappear, I can't do this.

Bad thoughts in my head. I don't feel safe. I am a horrible person

I don't deserve any help. I don't deserve anything.

Reena

Please stop saying that, you're not horrible, you're amazing. And everyone needs a little help sometimes. xx

Former Member

Sorry just ignore me..

Former Member

If you feel unsafe, I would recommend presenting yourself at your nearest A&E, a police station, or phoning a helpline to get the support you deserve and need.

Former Member

I am just scared. On this path of self destruction, may turn my phone and laptop off.

Reena

ClaireStephanie wrote: »

Sorry just ignore me..

Never!

Former Member

Then present yourself at a local A&E where you'll be safe and offered support. It's the only way if you want to get through this. They can't tell your parents cos you're over the age of 16 and 18... if not that, then there's not much else we can recommend, or suggest, you need to help yourself if you ever want to get through this.

Former Member

yes you really should...:'(

Reena

ClaireStephanie wrote: »

yes you really should...:'(

Nop, not going to. *hug* *hug*