Home› Health & Wellbeing
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

Struggling (mental health)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
Hello.
I am really unsure what to type right now. I just need to release my emotions and I am trying not to s/h. I have been pretending that everything is okay, during christmas time. But I cant pretend anymore.

I haven't taken my meds at all this week cause I don't have enough. And I wanted to take them before I go to the doctors in January, so I can be happy for the doctor so she thinks everything is fine.
After overdosing a few nights ago, I am just finding things really hard at the minute. And I feel very self destructive alot of the time.

I know that what I am doing isnt good for me, but I cant stop. I want to get better but I honestly don't see any way of me recovering from this. I feel trapped... In this cycle.

I have things to look forward to in 2013 but I can't see the positives right now when I feel the way I do.

I just want to feel myself again :(

Sorry for this thread. I know its stupid, just like me.


Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you, for the reply.

    Sorry to hear your feeling low too.

    Maybe we can both try and cheer each other up? :)

    Yeah I cant sleep either, toothache and just cause I never sleep much nowadays. Its all fun and games :(





    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right now not being in pain will cheer me up.

    Hahaha i love eye spy :)

    Yeah headaches suck big style.. I am soo sleepy just cant sleep. Bonjela is very tasty ive decided. Nomnom.. I feel like ive been punched in the face.

    I talk about random shizz when I am sleepy...

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have no idea who they are lol.

    Hell yeahh! Bonjella is nommy. Go buy some :p

    I shouldnt of downloaded temple runner on my phone its highly addictive. Lols

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What are pro s/h sites?

    Get nomming the bonjella tomorrow :p the childrens one is strawberry but its no good for me. So I have bonjella cool hahaha!

    I am sure your not messed up in the head lovely. I bet your stronger than you think. :) The fact your taking the time to talk to me tells me your a lovely person :)


    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They dont sound like very helpful sites. Why do they even have sites like that. Its awful, people making others want to s/h and encouraging it. I don't understand that.

    Hmmm well I have to disagree the fact your talking to me, is infact helping me so your doing a good thing. Therefore you ARE a lovely person. Even if you dont want to believe me.

    Okay lovely. Hope the headache goes soon.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When i have stuff like i should look forward too i don't really feel excited or w/e but i write them down and use them as an aim point to get too - might help :)

    and any pro sites like that are sooo bad! they're like the proana ones.. can be really bad for vulnerable people tbh
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah thats a good point alfie :)

    Yeah pro s/h sites dont sound good. Why are they even allowed?

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea used it for last 2 years to get me threw college and stuff tbh - although when im really low im like i dont give two :L but genrally its good to have an aim to work for i guess

    and not sure tbh, canny say i've heard of them really.. but i assume they are like proana ones with horrid tips and pictures and stuff.. i know sometimes ppl do like petitions to take them down cos when your feeling low having that there its like encouragement that people reallyy don't need. Really especially don't like the ones that glorify it |:<
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I agree about having an aim to keep you going. I am defo gonna do that :) great tip.

    Yeah I guess people can pretty much post anything online as long as its legal. I personally hate the thought of them. Never actually seen them, and quite glad about that.

    Kinda feels a bit like they are taking advantage of vunerable people I know that when I feel low I will do anything, and I guess having a website that promotes s/h I would prob do it. Makes me angry these sites even exist.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They sound awful to be honest. 12 years old, and having somebody tell you to hurt yourself. I honestly cant understand why somebody would do that. It makes you question what the younger generation are seeing online now!

    It makes me feel so angry to even know these sites are around, and that people enjoy encouraging others to hurt themselves. Its twisted.

    Think ive ranted enough now. Lol.

    Oh dear. Are you okay?


    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its not stupid at all. It was just a mistake, we all make those. Its good you was sick though. Past overdoses ive taken, Ive never been sick. My body is screwed anyway.

    Im doing okay thank you. A bit sleepy. I took some co codamol and ibuprofen for my toothache before so they should hopefully knock me out. So if I dont reply Im sleeping :)

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you. My gum is swolen and in lots of pain and my tooth, well I wanna chuffin pull it out myself. My face feels like ive been punched.

    Okay lovely, thank you for the chat, and keeping me company.. Hope you get some sleep.

    Take care :) dont forget the bonjela :) haha!! Xx

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you still have your positive book? I know you found that helpful. Maybe you could look through it, or find a picture of Emily and stick her in your positive book, so when you feel low, and crappy, and like you want to harm yourself, you can look through it, and see your reason why you should stop. Think. And reach out before you do anything.

    Did you go to hospital after you overdosed? If not, I'd bring this up with your doctor if you can?

    Best Wishes,
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Sophie. Yeah I still got it.
    But don't exactly know where it is. Hmm I didnt go to the hospital, because my family dont know about the s/h and last time I went to hospital after overdosing it was last october and my family hated me. And I couldnt put them through the hurt again. ( stupid reason I know )



    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not stupid. I used to hate upsetting the family, but now I've moved away, they've not got anything that links me to family, as I refuse to give information of them.

    It's normal to feel scared of hurting them, but you're hurting yourself just as much. Think if you succeeded, Emily would have no one, she'd wonder where you was and when you'd be coming back... Next time you feel you want to OD, talk to someone and reach out. If you've already done it, get yourself to hospital. They won't talk/get your parents in as you're an 'adult' now, and over 16.

    Yes it's still scary, but you're hurting yourself as much as you'd be hurting your family.
  • Options
    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    ClaireStephanie, like Sophie says, what you're feeling isn't stupid at all. These feelings are real, and difficult, and it's great that you're talking about them here.

    In terms of looking at self-harm sites, I just wanted to suggest looking at TheSite's section on self-harm here: http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm

    There's loads of stuff on there, and it might be a good alternative place to focus.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I guess so. Its more like I cant lie to them as to where I would be going. I know I am just thinking stupidly.
    Yeah I feel guilty each time I do it because of Emily, yet I cant just stop. :(
    Thank you so much Soph :)

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not going to be easy to stop. It's an addiction.
    I think you read my blog posts, not sure how much they relate, but everyone who self-harms may struggle with trying to stop. It's the adrenaline rush it gives you and the endorphin's that it releases, that makes you want that again and again.

    But it IS possible to stop and I know you've been able to stop and then relapse, but you've tried. Never stop trying though, the day you stop trying, the day it will seem impossible. You can get through it because you're strong.

    Yes, you may relapse, but each day is a new day, and you'll become stronger within that.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Danny :) will take a look.

    Yeah I read your posts Sophie, they were really inspiring :) well done.

    I guess everytime I relapse I want to quit. I have started to post some quotes on my tumblr to see it that helps.

    I am back at the doctors on 9th january. Although really don't know what to say to her. Cause ive had a whole week without my meds and s/h quite a bit. I only told her about the overdoses none of the other stuff. :/

    I wish I was strong, but Im really not.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You ARE strong, you're not meant to eat negative shit, eat the positive shit ;) (Such a lovely phrase)

    My doctor knows about my self harm, and everything tbh, because Becki told him :o then again I said she could ;) I think it would help, but what can a doctor really do for self-harm? They can probably tell you to keep it clean etc etc, but it's like a taboo topic for them. They'd suggest therapy of some sort.

    I get that you want to quit when you relapse, and I guess when you relapse, it makes you feel like a failure, like you're not worth recovery and like nothing's ever going to get better. But it will and does get better, you just need a offline support network around you, which could offer you so much more, and someone to talk to face-to-face about your struggles (which OMG is absolutely amazing, you can even moan about Gargamel capturing smurfs) Don't do that :P they'll think you're mad like me ;)

    Wish you all the best
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I guess your right.

    I have been asked about counselling but Ive had it in the past and it didnt help much. But I guess its always worth a second go. Still a bit undecided. My doctor said we will discuss it again after christmas. Feel like I live at the doctors at the minute.

    Haha smurfs are the best :)

    Thank you so so muchly :)

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bless you, living at the doctors could be fun, you get ill bam doctor straight away ;) I live there as well, I think they've seen more more times in a month, then they've seen anyone in a year;) Gotta keep them smurfy!

    Counselling differs from person to person. Maybe if you go for it, and give it a shot, and it doesn't fee like it's helping you, you could bring it up with your counsellor, and they can try a different approach. Everyone's different, that's why counsellors have a lot of different techniques and approaches :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol.. I know that feeling. The doctor goes to me you need to come back every two weeks. Im like you having a girafee lol.

    Yeah I am just worried about actually talking bout things..

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Worrying is natural, least it shows you're human ;)

    I think they're really supportive at the moment, they want to keep an eye on you, and if you feel worst, I'd try talking to them about it. They're like the next best thing to a counsellor, least they're able to offer you advice, which you could either love or hate hearing.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hahaha dont think Im human tbh im a lil on the weird side :p

    Yeah its good to have the doctors support and advice. Mostly I take the advice on board :)

    Ill get better eventually I hope.... Who knows...

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You will if you're determined to :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Totes. Thank you again Sophie :)

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bonjela is zee best :)

    Im okay yourself ?

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well hope you are okay! here if you need chatters :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :'(
    Really struggling again.. I just want to stop feeling this way.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
Sign In or Register to comment.