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Why can't relationships be simple?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay this is slightly awkward...

I don't even know what to say, but.basically right..

I'm gay and I'm fully aware and fine by that I've been through the bullying because of it and my friends turning against me incase I started coming onto them which of course I wouldn't. But anyways, before I finally admitted to myself I had a boyfriend we'll call him Liam, so me and Liam were in a relationship for around 6 months I never once felt anything towards him, I loved him but only as a friend we were more like close friends then lovers. We were sat on my bed watching a film and he asked for about the 10th time that night "Why don't we have sex" so I replied back "I don't feel well" truth is I felt fine but I couldn't for two reasons, 1) the idea actually scares the hell out of me. 2) I just didn't feel attracted to him. I think this must have annoyed him because he went "You always feel ill every single day. Sex doesn't is good you know" I don't really know why, but I went "yeah but not with you" so after a screaming argument for an hour about how im a bad girlfriend and if i don't like him why am I with him eventually I got bored and wen't "For fuck sake I'm gay okay"

Prize for the most awkward ended relationship?:D

So, then I got a girlfriend and I felt everything I was happy but after 3 months she turned violent and I had to say I'd had enough. I still feel things for her now, everytime I see her in town center I still get butterflies in my tummy,she meant a lot.

So not complicated yet right? well NOW it gets complicated.

Theres someone at the hostel, we'll call him..err Ryan, Me and Ryan have a little...well we act like 5 year olds sometimes..most of the time chasing each other round then he'd mess around and go I fancy you and I'd throw something at him. I didn't feel attracted to him. Janet the hostel worker would mess around and go " ooh them two are in looooove" but..we weren't I remember actually telling him once, "I'm gay" I'm not afraid to say about my sexuality anymore, I used to be. But then, last night Me, Ryan and another resident we're sat in the living room area and Ellie had an idea to go wake up another ressident because shes mean :P (oops) so we went into Ellies room and sat on the bed listening to music LOUD. I got tired and I laid down on the bed and the position I laid down in I was laid with my hand and leg on Ryan, Ellie kept looking at us and winking and I kept going "shurrup".

Then, she goes for a drink and leaves the room. I looked at Ryan and he looks at me, He goes "Shes such a tease" next minute we're both kissing. Now I'm really confused about things...I don't even know whats happening, how could I be so stupid to kiss someone from the opposite sex. I feel really stupid. Stupid stupid stupid:banghead:


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok. Just because you're gay and attracted to women, doesnt mean you cant ever ever be attracted to a guy ever. I know it must be confusing as you're probably now wondering where your identity is but try not to fixate on that too much. Try to see people as new relationships rather than taking all your past experience with you.

    So he's a guy but that doesnt mean you cant like him. And just because you kissed him it doesnt mean anything more has to come of it if you dont want it to. I know ive probably given you more to think about now but what im trying to say is dont worry about it, just see him as another person not a gender. If you like him, go for it, if not, then dont stress about it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :) I absolutely adore your writing style

    awesome mind you have up there, your fun.

    and in regards to your conflict, consider the possibility of being BI.
    same as not all girls you find attractive, with boys it's the same.
    just do what feels good, with whoever.
    you fall for a guy? be with him. you then later on fall on a girl? be with her.
    there is no need to put that much significance to such things.

    personal input of how I live perhaps will shine some light.
    I know I am bi, but don't feel the need to tell or hide it. to my family and however wanted to know I just stated it as a fact and nothing to get worked up about.

    people around you find it easier to accept things they wont normally accept, if they feel it's not a big deal.
    and it's not.

    be yourself, do what feels good
    no need to bash head on walls :) (walls have feelings too) jk :P
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So a little update on this

    Ryan started treating me really nice lately and being all mind ect. But then over Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning he's started like become controlling like he says when I'm going to bed and he stole my Keys and started biting me really hard which has left a bruise and he refuses to let go. He's become really demanding to have sex which gives me panic attacks
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to challenge his behaviour - it sounds like something is going on with him that he may not be aware of, as he is a good friend it's better to upset him than let something happen that destroys your relationship.
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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Hi Emmalee

    As other people have said, it's quite normal to be attracted to people from either sex, so please don't let that concern you.

    It sounds like things with Ryan are really out of hand though. No one needs a friend (or more) who is going to be controlling and hurt you.

    Do you feel able to tell him that you don't want to be treated that way, and that it's making you feel bad?

    If you've tried that and it doesn't work, or it feels too difficult, maybe there is someone else you could speak to. A worker at the hostel, or a mutual friend?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ryans moving out on monday coming he's going to join the army, He went back to being really nice to me..then he started ignoring me last week I put this down to the fact he's upset to leave us, Then he started talking to me again monday and hugging me. Yesterday we got a new girl Elisha, and its like I don't exist, he's acting with her like he did with me. and a hostel worker commented on how he's already had sex with her. This was 6 hours after she moved in, but now he's turned back into an arse with me. Says remarks to Elisha like "oh that's where the idiot is, she's easy".

    So decided....I'll be happy to see the back of him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »
    So decided....I'll be happy to see the back of him.

    High 5. You'll see him again, but the space will help.
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