16 and in love with my teacher...

Former Member

Hey,

Well basically I'm 16 and dating a man who works with in my school. He doesnt work for the school but runs a buisness which is based in the building. I know it sounds really dodgy but it's just how it is. Anyway I was wondering if anyone knows if it's illigal for me to be dating him? Since he's not employed by the school I assumed it was okay but now I'm unsure. Anyone know? Thanks

Former Member

I'm pretty sure the law says it's illigal if they are in a position of trust or authority (e.g. teacher, doctor etc etc.) can you tell us what his role is with in the school?

Former Member

Okay thanks, he works on a radio station which is based in the school...

Former Member

hmmm that's a tricky one, I'm honestly not sure! But if you're really worried it might be worth emailing your local police force/crime stoppers or something and asking?

I'm not here to judge your relationship, and I wont, but if he is a lot older than you then please be careful. Do you parents know about the relationship?

Former Member

Is the radio station in any way linked to the school? Whilst it may not be technically illegal, the close physical proximity of the radio station to the school could cause him bad problems. I don't mean to nitpick here, but I did get a little concerned when I first read the title, where you said you were in love with your teacher, though it does seem like this might be a different situation. Problems could arise if he is employed or in any way associated with the local school authority. Odd to have a radio station operating out of a school building though.

Former Member

Okay I will try that yeah I know it might not be safe with age difference but it's been 5 months so far and he hasn't pressured me into anything. No parents don't know I can't tell them until I know if it's illegal because they know of him and would get him arrested if they could thank you for the advise

Former Member

I'm not really sure if there is a link or not to be honest. I know it sounds really weird about being in love with him, I did live with him for around 6 months as he was a family friend. That was when we go close, since then him and my parents have had a argument so it's now a bit more difficult. I generally do think I'm in love with him but who knows? I'm still young an this whole thing is confusing

Former Member

I think, even if it is illegal, you need to inform your parents... I know it's difficult to, but if any problems do arise you need them to be able to support you.

Former Member

Okay thanks I will try get the confidence to do it soon thanks

Former Member

No worries- and just so you know, I'm 15 with a partner of 18. We've been together since I was 14 and he was 17... been together a year this month actually.
I know it can be difficult telling parents about any relationship, but it needs to be done. You have to see it like this... if you need to hide it from your family, then really it probably isn't the best relationship to be in, because you're hiding it for a reason.

Former Member

Aww congratulations on telling your parents your braver then I am. I hope it goes well between you two that sounds ver tru about why I'm hiding it... Guess I'm just scared? I will think of a way of puttin it across gently tonight

Former Member

Good luck, let us know how it goes :thumb:

Former Member

Okay will do, thanks again

Former Member

Why did you say "teacher" in the topic title if he's not a teacher? Does his job involve regular contact with students at the school? More importantly, did he need a criminal record check when he took the job? I'd think that's the key one for determining whether he's operating in a position of trust/authority.

Former Member

I was unsure of what to call him in the title, teacher probably wasn't my best move. Well some of the students do shows kn the radio so he is there boss overall but there is someone else who they are meant to go to rather then him. So no he doesnt have regular contact with the students. He probably did need a criminal record check to get in because of the people around him, does this mean he is in a percision of authority?

Former Member

how old is he?

Reena

I don't think there is an age limit on love, but if he is a lot older than you then I would be questioning his motives.
It's good you don't feel pressured but don't rush in to anything either. If it really is love he would wait for you to leave school, give you a few years before committing to anything so you have some time to work things out. -Your hormones could be what's confusing you at the moment, in a few years it may become a little clearer.

As for if it's legal or not, it doesn't look good on him morally. That may sound harsh but that's what I think. xx

Former Member

Reminds me of one of the episodes of waterloo road this, Unhelpful comment I know...but I don't know how to spell her name? but she thought she was in love with a suply teacher till it went horribly wrong....

Just saying you can't predict the future

Former Member

Okay that's all very true thank you, don't plan on doing anything to soon, we haven't even spoke about it. Your right it doesn't look good and it never will really. Doesn't sound harsh need other people oppioions so yeah thanks xx

Former Member

Hmm does sound a bit like that... Thanks for quote will keep trying and see how things go

Former Member

I'm not a lawyer, so I couldn't tell you whether you situation is illegal or not, but people usually go through a criminal background check precisely because they want to hire people who aren't at risk of screwing the students. With 16 to 17 year olds, it's a bit more complicated, because it relies on a position of authority or trust, so it might come down to how your relationship started. You said he was a family friend, which doesn't sound like a position of authority to me. I think as long as you never see each other on school property, it wouldn't be an issue. But I wouldn't start spending time with him at work, because that would definitely look a lot more dodgy.

Former Member

how old is he?

Former Member

youd have to be aware that it would probably ruin his career and reputation if anything did happen, so unless youre completely in love and total soul mates etc etc, id really suggest you steer clear

Former Member

Okay thank you don't feel as bad about things now, will and do avoid eachother at school we did meet because of the family and not because of were he works so guess it's not as bad. Thanks

Former Member

He knows that and says it's worth the risk so I guess alls good?

Former Member

How old is he? You seem to be avoiding the question...

Former Member

Sorry 28 x

Former Member

Does he normally date people your age, or are they normally his age?

Former Member

Normally his age

Former Member

hes a weirdo and hes probably been grooming you for a while. Dont fall for it.

Former Member

A position of trust is any position in an educational institution where a person has some sort of responsibility over a child under the age of 18. I'd have thought in this case, it would apply to him, especially if he does any sort of teaching work.

But like SCC says, he sounds like a weirdo. Someone that age should know better.