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Am I Being Ridiculous.. ?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Me and my girlfriend have been together almost 2 years now. Were VERY serious. I mean were together 24/7, literally.
I am wondering a lot of things both us that may not be a big deal in other couples. For example if she does her makeup a lot or has to be dressed a certain way or has to have her hair done before we go out in public I dont get it. Because I see her without all this stuff so she obviously isnt doing it for me. Shes doing it to impress other people. I get so pissed about it.
If she looks at a guy for more than a split second I accuse her of checking the guy out etc.
This weekend her Mom went out of town (she lives with her Mom in an apartment) and she got locked out. She said that she would rather stay at the apartment alone then with her family. This doesnt make sense to me I am suspecting that she is cheating late at night or something. Because it makes no sense why she would want to be in an apartment all alone, rather than with her cousins etc.
She was going through her phone and talking about how she never gets any calls and how shes a loser. I was like "who the hell do you expect to call you other than me?"
It just goes on and on and on.
I am wondering a lot of things both us that may not be a big deal in other couples. For example if she does her makeup a lot or has to be dressed a certain way or has to have her hair done before we go out in public I dont get it. Because I see her without all this stuff so she obviously isnt doing it for me. Shes doing it to impress other people. I get so pissed about it.
If she looks at a guy for more than a split second I accuse her of checking the guy out etc.
This weekend her Mom went out of town (she lives with her Mom in an apartment) and she got locked out. She said that she would rather stay at the apartment alone then with her family. This doesnt make sense to me I am suspecting that she is cheating late at night or something. Because it makes no sense why she would want to be in an apartment all alone, rather than with her cousins etc.
She was going through her phone and talking about how she never gets any calls and how shes a loser. I was like "who the hell do you expect to call you other than me?"
It just goes on and on and on.
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Comments
And she is bound to want people besides you to call her. Come on. Think about it properly.
About doing her hair and makeup before she goes out... When i have boyfriends I do that, it's not like my sole intention was to pull another guy. It's a girl thing.... Sans makeup, she probably feels less confident than she would with makeup, hair done etc. This doesnt mean she's doing it to pull men though.
However, so what if she wants to 'impress' them? It doesn't mean she wants to sleep with them.
Maybe she does this because she wants to make new friends?
Don't jump to conclusions. Relax a little, and let her live a little while you're at it.
We have both agreed that neither of us want friends. I mean we still talk to our friends on the phone sometimes. (same sex obviously)
But she says that she does her hair and make up for herself and her self-esteem etc.
I dont know maybe I am insane.
Erm, why is that obvious?
Yup.
I am sorry, but it seems like slow suffocation.
I can't see anything wrong with wanting to be alone, when constantly with others...
My tip is: Give her some space, let her be alone if she wants to, hang out with friends (also of opposite sex), and chill a little...
Stop stifling her. I hope she is cheating on you, you bloody hypochondriac. Do you beat her if she puts a foot wrong too?
If i had a chance to live alone or live in house of people it would be alone. I get to do what i like in my pace. Its like during the day if im home and so is my sister i try to get rid of her fora little peace and quiet.
The time for these sort of worries is when you are married even then it may be a little extreme. Try not to worry too much im sure she is not planning on leaving you a little space will prolong and make your relationship a little more healthy
GOODLUCK
*DEVIL*
If you love someone let them go. If they dont return then they were never yours to begin with.
And did you ever think that the reason she doesn't feel she needs to make herself up all the time when you're around is because she might trust you and feel comfortable enough with you that she doesn't think she needs to always look perfect for you to stay with her? In my opinion, her trust (if that's what it is) is misplaced.
You'll never ever have a functional relationship if you continue to view women as your personal possessions and do not let them have any time for themselves and with friends.
You are not healthy mentally or emotionally. I suggest you see a counsellor and find out where your insecurity comes from (as shown by the fact that you feel you need to isolate your girlfriend in order to keep her love).
I think you're being ridiculous, personally. You say you and your girlfriend have been together for 2 years -- you guys are around each other 24/7, there is no other guy for her! Are you telling us that you have never in the two years looked at another girl? If you say no you haven't, then I plain out don't believe you! My Aunt and Uncle have been together 28 years. He looks at other women, and tells my Aunt that he does, and it's vice versa too.
What you said to her about her not having anyone phoning her, well. Maybe she wants friends to call her up and have a good chat, and go out with them, instead of being around you all the time.
You sound really jealous over nothing. She's your girl, but it seems as if she needs a bit more freedom.
i'm sure i just read that you and your gf discussed friends and decided you didnt want them? are you both mad?
i'm really surprised you still have you gf because your being VERY possessive and out of order!
give the girl some space and let her have a life outside of her life with you!
Secondly, about the makeup thing. Its only natural for girls to want to make themselves look good when they leave the house, boyfriend or no boyfriend. Just because shes going out with you doesnt mean she has to start looking a mess, maybe she likes to look good for you as well you know.
Thirdly, you cant have much trust if your thinking about her cheating just as he wants some time and space alone. Ever thought that maybe she just wants to chill out every once in a while and be on her own, I know I'd explode if i couldnt have my quiet moments alone (has just realised how rude that sounds
you just need to give her some space and let her see her mates, everyone need friends just cos your in a relationship friends are still very important, forget about them and you'll be generating more enemies than friends and you dont want that. Step back and see if what your doing is really fare.
If they are not really 'mates' then its fine. someone who dumps you for another mate is just as bad and is called an hypocrit (according to a dictionary definition anyway)
but not the spelling
Ah, well. *doesn't care*
Why are you so insanely possessive? Is it because you're insecure? You think that if you let your girlfriend out of your sight she'll run off with someone else? Get a grip or you're going to lose her.
I had a psycho boyfriend like you once. We were together for a year and a half. He didn't like it that I wore skirts to work (I work in an office - its normal to wear a skirt), if I wore contact lenses instead of my glasses, if I painted my nails, if I had my hair highlighted, if I went out with my friends, etc, etc. He thought I was doing all these things to attract other men. I did them because I like to look my best FOR MYSELF, because it makes me feel good. We argued all the time because I was too independant - I'm not going to stay at home being guarded byu someone just because they're fucked up.
Get a grip on your mad jealously and possessiveness before you lose her. Because eventually she'll be fed up of your issues & leave you.
I treat my mates and boyfriends equally. I give them equal time. You should never put one person in front of another if you are so close to both parties.
I don't understand all this 'putting your friends first shit'. Real friends understand that a relationship needs time to build and that people can share their lives with both mates and boyfriends!
So umm yeah Monstar..... get a pet. It'd suit you better
Well I suppose she does treat us equally, I just mean that some people get boyfriends and ditch their mates completley, yeah so fair enough you want to spend time with your boyfriend/girlfriend and thats fine, but you should also think about your mates as well. Treating them equally is fine, its just from experience Ive had friends put boyfriends first, not treating us all equally and I think its abit out of order considering weve been friends longer, well before the boyfriend even came along.