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advise please

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
Hey I have just got a new partner and was just wondering if anyone has any advise on how to explain the scars.
I know this is a bit of a weird as im 20 but i am still a vergin and have avoided showing boys my body in the past because of the scars but this time its different and I would like some advise on how to either cover them up or explain it in a way that aint going to make him want to run a mile

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey mowglieanne,

    Am I right to assume they're self harm scars as you didn't exactly specify? It doesn't matter though, a scar is a scar no matter where it came from. I'm really glad that you're in a relationship where you feel comfortable that you finally want to show your body to someone and make that step into sex, well done you for being confident enough - it takes a lot of effort for some people.

    When you're having sex he might be too involved to even see the scars, being caught up in the moment - but if you're really worried about it then there are cover ups you can use, make-up works well on scars along with creams like Bio oil. The best thing to do would probably be just to tell him the truth, if he asks where they come from then tell him. It might seem abit scary now but anybody who would run away doesn't deserve to be in your life anyway. *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the tips Megan and Yeh they r scars from self harming.
    Im just nervous because the last boy who saw them freaked out and left then for ages if he saw me he treated me as if I had a contagious disease that he might catch and he told his friends and they acted the same way that was 5 years ago I havnt let anyone see my body since
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One bad experience doesn't make for another - this person is different to the one who ran before. It's hard to trust people I know but not everyone is bad :yes:

    Lots of love for you, it will be fine and if it's not then get rid of him, he doesn't deserve you *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you i supose I just need to learn to trust people more and have more confidence in my self.
    I started my cognitive behavioral theropy today so Hopefully I will get better although I know its going to take time patience and a lot of hard work.

    Thanks for all the advise how r u
    If I can ever repay the favor im here to chat or listen if u want to talk
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm glad you started CBT, it'll be really good for you - let me know how it goes!
    Thanks for the offer, i'll keep it in mind :)
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    ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    mowglieanne wrote: »
    Thank you i supose I just need to learn to trust people more and have more confidence in my self.
    I started my cognitive behavioral theropy today so Hopefully I will get better although I know its going to take time patience and a lot of hard work.

    Thanks for all the advise how r u
    If I can ever repay the favor im here to chat or listen if u want to talk

    You'll be surprised by how much it can help. Cognitive behavioral therapy/ EMDR really helped me. At first I was thinking yeah, yeah but now I would say it's great. Hope you find it as helpful as I did. xx
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