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Post e binge crash

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
OK, hi guys, new here, first post. Not quite sure what I'm looking for, or if I just want a place to vent and not feel soooo alone. Basically the last few days I've been having a big comedown after a fairly intense week of MDMA use. I was on holiday and using several times every day, the last night I had some was Thurs, was alright Fri, just tired, then yesterday serious fear set in. Terrified of being alone, that the word isn't real, that everything has changed irrevocably, good or bad. Random bursts of tears, random highs when I almost feel like I'm coming up again and feel like dancing around with anybody who happens to be in the vicinity. Last night I was consumed with the old sense of impending doom. My parents were visiting (don't know I was coming down), when they left this morning I was consumed with this hideous terror of being alone, found some friends to hang out with, starting feeling good again so I left, as soon as I got home I found myself in the corner almost screaming in terror and crying uncontrollably.

I feel as the world I'm living isn't real. I grew up in a different country to the one I live in and I feel as if I'm back there, at one point I was convinced it was 1992 and I was living in a novel (I was 2 years old in 1992). I was stupid, I know, taking so much in such a short space of time, I didn't prepare and didn't think about how it would affect me afterwards (I'd normally take max 2 in a night, and only every couple of months, no real comedown from it) and I'm paying the price now. I can barely walk I'm so dizzy, it's like I'm drunk. I'm just hoping it will go away soon and everything will be back to normal, or not normal, as I feel as if I've been through some sort of evangelical experience and nothing can be the way it was before, nor do I want it to be, but I do hope the feeling of unreality and the terror that grips me now and again will go soon and my housemate will get back so I actually won't be alone and I hope I'm not like this in work tomorrow, though I guess at least I will be with people so the almost childish terror of being by myself won't be the same....I hope I stop coming up as well, up and down is doing my head in and I don't like the feeling of coming up when I haven't taken anything, it's three days since I last took some, argh. Anyway I'm not really sure why I'm posting here, I guess just to feel a little less alone and get a little reassurance that soon I won't feel like I'm living in a novel anymore, it's very disorientating....though I do have this feeling like when I was 19 and starting uni and the whole world felt exciting and full of promise, a feeling I haven't had in ages which is nice, but also very weird as nothing has changed, no new job or new town, just a very strange mind twist. Anyway I'm rambling now, I'm very sorry guys, I hope I don't keep coming up and crashing, coming up and crashing, I'd ask for advice on what to do but I guess at this stage there's probably very little I can do but sit it out and watch xfactor....anyone know when I can expect this to stop maybe?? I took 2-3 a day for 6 days if that makes a difference?
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