Wearing girls clothes

Former Member

I hope this is the right place to post this, i dont really know where to start with my problem and i know some people will not understand and will judge but i just need to talk about this or i feel like iwil go mad or actually explode :eek:
So anyway about two years ago and i dont know why or how i started but i started trying on my sisters clothes i found that i really liked wearing them and began doing it a lot whenever i got the chance i would even just for a few minutes.
I know its wrong and i shouldnt do it but i am really hooked and its becoming hard to cope with it. A whlile ago i was alone all day and i for the first time i was able to dress completly for most of the day i loved the way i looked and how i felt and really want to do more of it.
I have a few things hidden around my room but its always a worry that they will be found its always on my mind and i am always checking and moving things its not much fun like this.
I sort of want my mum to know but it wold be really embarrasing i guess and im not sure i want to dress in front of other people just yet i just want it to be something i can do more often without the worry of being caught at the moment i am always on edge looking out the window listening for mums car etc.
I know i will be in trouble for taking my sisters things not sure how to get round that either
It would be so nice to be able shop for my own things but whats the point when it all has to hidden away.
I'm not gay i really like girls and i don't want to be a girl i just like the clothes etc, help please
Do you guys think it would be best to keep it to myself, somehow tell my mum, or try really hard to stop doing it?

Former Member

Hey Beans :wave:

Thanks for posting. Firstly, welcome to TheSite. I'm sure you'll get some great responses from other forum members. :wave:

This is exactly the right place to post. Sometimes being able to write things down in one place can itself be a great stress reliever.

There can often be considerable prejudice displayed towards people who cross-dress. It's all too easy to look for psychological disorders as a way of making sense of the issue, when the fact is there is a whole spectrum of gender and sexuality out there, and not just the fixed narrow roles to which most conform.

However difficult it may be to talk to others about this for fear of their response, ignoring it or denying your desire to do it won't help in the long run.

It's understandable that your sister might get a little annoyed about you wearing her clothes, so stopping that might be something you'd like to consider to avoid any potential conflict there.

Regarding the not being gay thing, it is generally thought that most male cross dressers are heterosexual, so you shouldn’t have to discuss it along those lines.

I know your asking for advice on speaking to someone, but your probably the best person to decide if any of your close friends or family will be open to discuss these issues with you. You might be surprised at how accepting friends etc can be with issues like this.

The privilege of living in a post-modern world is it that young people should are or at least should be encouraged to be who they want to be, regardless of others prejudices.

I hope this has helped a bit.

Let us know how things go for you.

Phil :thumb:

Former Member

Thanks Phil01,

I really do wish there was someone i could tell about this, well i suppose there probably are but i to scared of how they might take it, idont really know why its such a bad thing to do but a lot of peolple seem to think its to weird.

There is a girl i have known nearly my whole life we are not best friends although i wish we were but we are sort of close she might understand but its a big risk isnt it.

I know i sound weak but when i think of how to tell my mum i get it all in my head how im going to do it or what i will say but i never am able to actually do it and i just get more frustrated and sad.

Former Member

Have you considered talking to an organisation that deals with gender identity?

I don't know if you are confused about your gender identity - it could be that wearing your sister's clothes is about nothing more than them looking good on you, right?

But if it helps, I would suggest Gires or Gendered Intelligence as a really good place to look around for info.

Former Member

Thanks for the links piccolo I had never heard of those sites but thanks lots of info there.
I am 95% sure that I don't want to be a girl its just that I really like the clothes,I love how they look on me and I love the colours and styles I just love feeling girlie if that makes sense.
I really like the look I suppose hair make up etc, if was ok for me to dress in the way I want I would be very happy
Just need to brave enough but I don't think I am.

Former Member

In my opinion - and it's not by any means a universal one - gender is a spectrum in the same way as sexuality. Increasingly in the trans* and gender queer movement there is an emphasis on ignoring the binary (male is the opposite of female and that's all there is) in favour of seeing much more variance.

You've got your whole life to learn about yourself - enjoy it! But sometimes it's ok to get support when the going gets rough.

Former Member

Thanks again its nice to be able to talk about it on here. I'm not sure what has made all my feelings so intense all of a sudden but lately its all I think about its taking over my life which I wouldn't mind if I could be able to dress how I want.
I have been thinking about it a lot and think that if I want to be happy again I am going to have to be honest and tell someone who can help me.
I have maybe three people in mind but deep down o know it should be my mum but I'm scared she will react badly.
I had a,great day shopping with two girls today it was really fun and I loved it but it was like being tortured sometimes , looking at the clothes they were trying on and buying and just wishing. A couple of times they were teasing me in a friendly way about me being bored and did I want to try something hahaha if only they knew.
Now I'm home I just feel sad and tearful and actually a little angry.
Life is not fair to people like me.

Former Member

Hi Ben, first of all i am glad you have found the courage to take the first step and begin talking about your crossdressing.
You say you started dressing a couple of years and know you find it is getting harder to cope with and you need to dress more often, well you are not alone there are many many people just like you out there but sadly not everyone will or is abale to admit to it which is why it is still taboo for a lot of people.
If you are finding that you want to dress for longer then of course the risk of getting caught or your clothes being found will increase and the worry and stress of that is not healthy so yes it would be good if you could confide in someone.
You should think really hard about who you tell, i always think in the early days its best to just tell those who really need to know, this is a big thing to admit and confiding in someone does give them a certain power over you so be doubley sure you trust them.
It would be easy to tell a sympathetic female friend and you would no doubt have fun if she was willing to help you but with the best will in world people fall out and grow apart but she will always know your secret and you would still be limited with your chances to dress.
Of course as others have said we dont know your family you are best placed to decide how your mum or sister will react, but to really be able to dress at will you are going to have to confide in one or both at some point so maybe you could think about how best to approach them if thats what you decide you want to do.
Whatever you do settle on can i suggest that you just think about it for a week or so before doing anything else really think about wteher this is the right time to "come out" or wether you would actually be happier keeping it to yourself for a while longer.
Good luck with this and let us know how things are going you can always post on here any worries or questions. good luck