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I don't think he understands... D:

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been going through a lot in my life right now. There are many things getting to me, such as: I am depressed, my best friend moving country, my other best friend committed suicide and my family is being torn apart because of my reckless mother leaving us all the time. I self injure & I have been for around 6 months. I have Therapy for it, so I guess that part is sort of getting better...

The thing is, my boyfriend doesn't help me. He knows about everything I'm going through & I recently told him about my suicide attempt. I'm not going through that again, I can't do it. I don't want the people I love being upset & hurt.
Anyway, he doesn't like talking about my problems & he has only really gave me 1 really good piece of advice through our whole relationship. He always says "I don't really want to hear this, I don't like it...". How am I supposed to get better if I can't talk about my feelings to him? That's a big part of what being in a relationship is about. I love him, I really do... But, it's just that I feel like I'm bringing him down or that he is fed up with all the Drama that's been going on. I have spoken to him about it, but I just get the usual response. He doesn't listen.
There are days where I don't have a breakdown & he even said himself that he prefers me that way. When I am upset or we are out with our friends, he always says to everyone, "I hope no one goes on a huge, depressive downer tonight." Once, he said that & glared at me. It made me feel so stupid.

I want to carry on with being in this relationship because I love him so, but what do I do?
I don't know if I should talk to him, just to get that stupid response again & then pretend that everything is okay when it's not. Or, break up with him until I'm better...

Help? :(

Thank You.<3


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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hey Chelsey,

    As you say, there really is lots going on in your life right now and you've been really brave to seek help for yourself with therapy. You're also able to recognise that this alone can't fix everything and that having positive relationships in your life is also really important in terms of your wellbeing. This means that having a boyfriend who isn't sympathetic or supportive, is understandably getting you down.

    Out of curiosity, what was the positive piece of advice you received from your boyfriend in the past?

    In terms of your feelings, I was wondering if you've said this to him:
    How am I supposed to get better if I can't talk about my feelings to him? That's a big part of what being in a relationship is about.

    And if so, how did he react?

    It sounds like you may well have and didn't get the response you were looking for, but if you haven't put it to him in these words then maybe you could give it a try?

    You've given yourself some options to consider such as maybe taking a break or pretending everything's ok even if it's not and just carrying on as you are... It can be really scary to make a break if you feel connected to someone and maybe making a list of the pros and cons of staying together (as honestly as you can) might help you to make that decision... In other words, think about whether this particular attitude outweighs anything positive that you feel you get from the relationship.

    Maybe you could share that list with us here?

    Hope this helps a little...

    H *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Helen has given a great response above! :):thumb:
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