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Questions regarding friendships

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

Since leaving university in 2007 I've moved back home. Since being back I have met new people through different things I've done and made some new friends in the local area.

I also went to France and met some people there whilst doing some internship schemes after university.

With both people I met at university and on the internship schemes the friends I made are far away and it is with these people I have been concerned about.

With people further away I've not been sure as to which friendships still exist and which are over. Generally there is a lack of contact from people further away which is possibly just the way it is whilst with local friends I hear from them as a more general rule.

I suppose the question is how do you know a friendship is over and what is the best way to let go and move on ?

With people where I think it's over it's been down to lack of response on their part - I've sent them messages and no response on a number of occasions or they have deleted me off facebook. I have found it painful.

Is it normal to find the ending of a friendship difficult, especially if you want it to continue ?

I suppose that's the main question is how do you know when to cut your losses with someone/know a friendship is over ?

And what is the best way to let go/move on ? It's the ending/loss that I find difficult, but I know that as you go through life you meet new people.


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    *Holly**Holly* Deactivated Posts: 140 Helping Hand
    Hi Mark1984

    People underestimate the level of grief involved when a friendship fizzles out. It's still a relationship you invested time and effort in, and so it's natural to feel crappy if the person on the other side is letting you down.

    Letting go of a friendship is a personal decision that only you can make really. But it's worth remembering that friendships are supposed to contribute to your life in a positive way (mostly) and make you feel good about yourself. If the opposite is occuring, it's usually a good indicator to let things go. But allow yourself time to be sad about it.

    What seems like a positive thing in this thread is that you are obviously good at making friends which is a great skill and one you should be proud of. It may help to concentrate on some of your more local friendships for a bit to keep you distracted?

    I hope that helps. Feel free to keep posting :)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Thanks for the reply. Well, personally that's just what I find is that you don't really hear anything from the people who are further away, whilst you hear from local people.

    I do put the effort in with people who live further away, but I think that these relationships are much more difficult.

    I'm just not sure quite who are the ones who may have 'moved on' and those where there is still a friendship that exists.

    What are the possible signs that the friendship has fizzled out ?

    Is it normal that you don't hear from people who are further away, but some of them could still be friends despite the lack of contact ?

    Personally I think the distance factor is the main factor along with changes in circumstance if some friendships are over, but it's difficult to know who are the ones for sure where the friendship has fizzled out.

    I just find it difficult from an emotional point of view - loss that is, but also to know which are the relationships that still exist and which are the ones that don't.
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