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things habe happened with and this girl but she has a bf

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all new here name ste I known this girl since was in college now her since was 18 and now 22 but she been out with this guy from Cardiff for nearly a year now living a bit away but me and this girl lives closer and on recently I started to like her a lot and went outlast night and we went to pub called weatherspoons she sent me txf saying come meet me upstairs to the tolits in 1 min like so/I did I and things happened we was close to having sex and the next day I still got feelings for her nd don't no how she feels can't thm out of my head any help would be great thanks guys and girls :-)


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The question you have to ask yourself is; do you really want to get involved with a girl who can do something like she did (with you) to her other half?

    I always think it is dangerous to meddle with other peoples relationships. You might think you are the one who is not in a relationship and therefore not in the wrong, but if you are fully aware of the situation and still trying to chase after something; you could still be very much in the wrong.

    What is to say that this girl wont screw you over if you are ever away for any decent length of time?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    I understand what you saying mate I have like her for a while but this is first time anything as happened butween us and don't won't to tell her how I feel justnincase we don't stay gd friends things so fucked up sz for language just not sure wha to do
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    First of all, if she blows you, or whatever when she's drunk, she clearly has some kind of hots for you, so if you have little dignity and respect for others and wanna score, go out and drink with her.

    Second of all, she cheats with you on her boyfriend, especially when drunk, if you want her to be anything else than a bit of fooling around, and you do, you best forget about it, because she will cheat on you too. Even if you are not in a relationship, having something going on with her, ends up in you feeling chewed and spat out, when she goes back to her boyfriend.

    Oh, and in case you think about telling her bf, this may result in a variety of things, but definitely not you getting together with her ever.

    /e: I don't want to prejudge, but don't flatter yourself too much about the "good friends" part. Good friends don't use you up on a night of drinking and be done with you like next days hangover.
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    *Holly**Holly* Deactivated Posts: 140 Helping Hand
    Hi Zeus89 and welcome to TheSite:wave:

    Developing feelings for a friend is always confusing, and I'm guessing you're especially confused now you've hooked up.

    I know you don't want to lose the friendship by talking with her about your feelings, but do you maybe not think it's going to be awkward anyway given the pub-toilet-incident? It might be worth asking her what's going on - at least then you'll have a bit more information to go on than just a drunken fumble? Have you seen/spoken to her since? It might be cringe but getting your feelings out there will give you some clarity on the situation, and I'm guessing it's your lack of clarity that's causing you to obsess a bit.

    Also - as others have pointed out - she does already have a boyfriend. Someone's she's been going out with for a year so it's pretty serious. It might well be worth giving some thought to the fact she was willing to cheat so easily on this guy - she even initiated it.

    I suggest having a big think about what you want...Do you want your friendship to go back to normal? Do you want her to dump her boyfriend and get with you? If, that happens would you worry she would cheat on you too? Would you be happy just being 'her bit on the side' or do you feel you deserve more than that? Once you've got that straight, consider talking to her. It won't be easy - but TheSite boards are here whenever you feel like offloading.

    Good luck

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey holly :)

    Heya holly thanks for reading my post yea bit confused like lol we all went out the weekend and is great we where all drinking but at the time we only had like 2 pints do like Wasent even drunk or anything it just randomly happened she just come to me and then it starting but no one else new wha was happing which was funny think that's why we carried on not sure. After day or two thn we started talking on Facebook and things and it's like Nuthing has happened but I don't feel like saying out just incase people getting hert like don't no was best to do thanks again for replying :-)
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