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Stressed over Sex???

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My boyfriend and i have been together for nearly two years now however we live quite far apart so it still all feels quite new!

Ever since we first got together it is obvious that he gets stressed about having sex and his 'performance' - he also has a very stressful job at the moment that I know can sometimes effect things for him. The thing is he doesn't 'do' talking.

The one thing that is a bit of an issue is that he isn't a fan of sex in the morning whereas I LOVE it! So we have had a couple of awkward moments where he hasn't been able to perform and then he just clams up. I decided it was selfish of me to try it on at this time of the day if this was how he felt.....

However, over xmas we spent more time together and he was talking more - again the morning thing happened and after some persuasion he said that he finds that for some reason, particularly in the morning, sex feels good, then really good, then TOO good and something just happens and he loses his erection rather than going all the way....

Any other guys felt like that? any tips on what I/we can do? Or is he just being nice to not hurt my feelings do you reckon......? :P



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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Every person is different, and every person will prefer sex at a different time of day. It's not a personal thing, it's just an individual thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi stacie182,

    Welcome to the boards :wave:

    It's hard sometimes to experience long-distance relationships, and even though it can still feel new, as you say, sometimes there is pressure involved. Pressure could be about having to have a great time as it's been so long, pressure could be based on getting along and not fighting, or perhaps in your case it could be possible that he feels great pressure to perform well?

    You mentioned him being stressed about his job as well, so again this might be a factor. Have a look at our article on low male libido and possible reasons for it.

    You say he doesn't "do" talking, and that can be tough especially when you live far. However you say he has been talking more recently, which is great. It's important for him to understand that communicating will get him to make you understand his side of things and let you both feel comfortable with certain situations. Perhaps you could have a chat with him about improving your communication? ;)

    Do let us know how you get on :)
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