Problems :/

Former Member

I dunno what to do really..
I might be bipolar.. I haven't got a diagnosis yet
me and my boyfriend got problems because of me.. I have a problem with lying now and again.. he is getting really fed up and I am so worried were going break up.
I really don't want too I really love him and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, gods honest truth that.
He is talking to me now about going on a break.. I really don't want that!
The bipolar thing plays on my mind every bloody day and I always wanna see my boyfriend smiling and making him happy. We live away from each other but see each other often enough I think.
I just need some advice about how to sort it out, so please help?
I'm feeling shit and need it asap..
Thanks.

**helen**

Hey TopBanana,

Firstly, welcome to TheSite. :wave:

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling shit.

You've told us you think you might be bipolar but you don't have a diagnosis yet - is this something that you've spoken to a doctor about? As this is playing on your mind every day, it's definitely worth pursuing with your GP if you haven't already. Let us know if there's anything that's worrying you about taking this step and maybe we can help.

Regardless of whether or not you do actually have this condition, I'm guessing you're experiencing mood swings, which is something that can occur for many different people in all walks of life. If this is the case, you might find TheSite.org's article on understanding mood swings helpful.

You say you have a problem with lying now and again and this is causing your boyfriend to get fed up, what kind of lies are they? Do you think you might be able to curb this habit? Trying to understand why you do this in the first place might help you to be able to put a stop to it, as it could help you to recognize some alternatives when the urge to lie occurs - so feel free to share some more thoughts on this here.

It's not clear if there's anything else going on that you feel is having an affect on your relationship with him at the moment or whether this is the main thing, but overall it sounds like you're putting quite a lot of pressure on yourself at a time when you're struggling health wise and so it's great that you're looking for support.

It's understandable that your gut reaction is that taking a break from your boyfriend is not what you want, as this can be a scary step to take. It might be worth having a bit more of a think about this option though, as for you, it could be a good opportunity to figure out what's going on in terms of the bipolar and also to address the lying issue. TheSite.org's article on taking a break has lots of tips on helping to make sure that both people in a relationship have a clear understanding of why you're doing it and what you think you have to gain from doing it.

Anyhow, I hope you're OK and here's a big *hug*

Hope to see you on the boards again soon.

Former Member

My reply.

Hiya,
Thanks very much for the reply and big hug : )

With the bipolar thing - its like a family condition and I am seeing a doctor about it so yeah I am getting the help.

Me and my boyfriend have talked stuff through, were slowly getting better. I think I can sort out the lying I am sure on this site and looking at other websites and maybe buy some books on it because I believe it will help and make my relationship stronger with him. Do you think that is a good idea?
I am going to speak to the doctor more about my lying and see if there's anything they could do to give me advice.

Write back when you can x:d

Former Member

Hey,

I always say this, but in many ways I don't think diagnosis is as important as self-awareness and managing the stuff you find most destructive. Sometimes a diagnosis is terrifying but if you break it down, it's just a series of symptoms and behaviours.

You obviously have brilliant insight; maybe you could try keeping a diary of when the things that scare you / bother you most happen and what triggers them? That way you and your boyfriend can talk about how to cope with them whilst you're waiting for treatment.

**helen**

TopBanana wrote: »

I think I can sort out the lying I am sure on this site and looking at other websites and maybe buy some books on it because I believe it will help and make my relationship stronger with him. Do you think that is a good idea?

Hello again, not quite sure what kind of books you mean, have you seen anything in particular that has caught your interest?

**helen**

piccolo wrote: »

I always say this, but in many ways I don't think diagnosis is as important as self-awareness and managing the stuff you find most destructive. Sometimes a diagnosis is terrifying but if you break it down, it's just a series of symptoms and behaviours.

:yes: great point.