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Is it Sexual assult ...??????????????????????????

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Long story cut short,
WARNING TRIG This lad wanted to meet up with me in december i was unstable and depressed and thought fuk it why not, we got on great made me laugh took me home and he wanted a hug so gave me one as thought hes lovely.. he then kissed me using his tounge YUK i pulled away and he laughed.. didnt think much of it altough thought as if kiss me on first time like that,

anyway he wanted 2 meet again i said yeah but this time dont kiss me pls if we deside to see eachother i wanna take kissing slow as not experience tbh he said he sure but he kept dragging me by my scarf and forcing me to kiss him it was discusting and i pulled away if i didnt kiss him he will dig his nails into my legs,

I felt so sick and dirty at first I was so shocked I just blocked it out,
As soon as I got into my boyfriends car he locked the door and started laughing,
saying ive been naughty.. "Ive took drugs.. I'm high.." I felt mad because he lyed said he doesnt take drugs even though he said he was going to get me on them. He said he'll make me.
As soon as he locked the door and drove off I got scared. He kept saying "we're guna get you drunk"
he brought me drink in his car making me drink it i kept saying no so again digging his fingers in my legs i was nearlly in tears but was soo strong..

he drove me to somewhere were no1 was ... he kept saying were going to have sex ... i said no he fucking r he goes trust me we r...
he kept kissing me when i said no dragging me by scarf ..
hes hurt me before saying ill beat u up if i find out uve cut urself again,
he kept hurting me so at 11:30 in the night i said stop it or ill walk home he locked the door so cudnt .. he started fingering me when i said stop it he didnt listen so i blocked it out (i havent told no1 this only that he hurt me down there) he hurt me so bad down there i started to bleed and hurt so much i cud barely walk very soar and swallen

he made me touch him down there to please him omg i cuda cried i blocked it out by saying to myself make it stop after he well u no , he said kiss my neck" i didnt want to coz I was so scared. So he pushed ma face near his neck and I said no I'm scared!! I dont want to! So he hurt my bits down below really bad. I started bleeding so I bite his neck soooooo fukin hard coz he'd hurt me so bad down there!!! I was close to tears and eyes was watering like crazy!!!

He then said "I will teach you for not doing as your told dani"
I just wanted to go home.. he asked me if I wanted a fight and I said no and laughed,
He then bit my neck with his teeth soo hard and pulling and wouldn't let go all because I wouldnt kiss him.
If you love someone you don't force them right? You dont hurt them? So why hurt me :(
He also bit my boob soooo hard and pulled it... it hurt so much!!!
I wanted to die..
Right now I pretend I'm fine but I'm not okay and certainly not coping..
I'm hurting myself physically and mentally. I'm staving and over exersising. All the things I didn't want to happen. I feel like a huge failure. It's my fault I should of known he'll assult me just like his best mate did, now im back to sqaure one and wanting nothing more but to die, ill neva trust no1 eva again

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ?

    b honest is it assult care worker said it werent that bad as werent rape :O x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No means no. So yes, it was sexual assault. Sorry but I don't think he cares much about you. You're not a failure, don't think that. There's no way you could of known he would do that. Your care worker shouldn't have said that, any assault is bad.
    I don't really know what advice to give you, sorry. I'm sorry that happened to you. *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks hunie... Sok I refuse 2 c care worker now xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you have any kind of support? Like a counsellor, or do you contact samaritans, anything like that?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No only a care worker who is dread dnt.listen nor take.me seriously,
    And what she said about the assult hurt so refuse 2 see her I contacted.pals
    And there asking for.me to have new one ill find out wed xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay, well if you feel you can, maybe you could think about getting in touch with samaritans. They're good, they really help me. You can email them on jo@samaritans.org, call them on 08457909090 or they have a free number, I'm pretty sure it's 116 123. You can also text them on 07725909090. Whatever you say is confidential.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks huni hugs xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hugs* to you, I hope you're okay.
  • Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Posts: 876 Part of The Mix Family
    yeah you shouldnt be with a guy who abuses you like that. its absolutely disgusting. sorry for being so blunt but it turns my stomach. do what you can to get away from the dick.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yep ur right he is a complete utter fuking dickhead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    ive been sexually abused b4 aswell.. ive not told police i was scared 2
    im not with him or see him but it hurts me still a hell of a lot and no1 understands and im so mad at my care worker !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    grrrrrr i wanna complain but scared x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you scared of him, is that why you don't want to tell?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Telling the police could stop him from doing it to others, and potentially to you again as well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What you experience was rape, it was a pentitrative act, thus it could count as rape. There are safe places you can get to get help where people will listen to you and help you get councelling or whatever it is you need. They will help you if you want to talk to the police, but they won't force you.

    http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/centres.php or http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/Referralcentres2.php

    You have done nothing wrong, and it does matter if the event happened 24 hours ago, or 24 years ago, they will still see you.

    Carry on with PALS, I had to make a complaint because of not being taken seriously by a support worker before, if you can see if there is a local MIND or rethink nearby who offer mental health advocacy.

    I hope this helps.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey ppl thanks 4 help,
    it most def wasnt rape as didnt have sex but he did make me play with him he kept his hand on mine moving his u no what up and down till he cum :(:(
    eeeeeeew i feel fukin SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I JUST WANT TO BLOCK IT OUT
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I JUST WANT TO BLOCK IT OUT

    :( *hug*
    What do you enjoy doing?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry guys just noticed i put cut a long story short and kinda forgot there,
    also sorry forgot the trig sign :(
    oops sowi
    ermmmm i dont enjoy nothing right now as suffer depression
    its hard very hard xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi depressedgal,

    So sorry to hear you have been through this awful assault. Yes it is assault;
    UK sex laws make it an offence for any male or female to sexually penetrate or touch another person without their consent (permission). In basic terms, this means you have every right to say no to any kind of unwanted sexual advance.

    It does not mean because actual rape was not done that you haven't been through sexual abuse and assault. Have you spoken to someone apart from this care worker? Is there a way for you to speak to family and report him? Please have a look at this advice on reporting someone.

    Please also have a look at our articles on surviving sexual assault and visiting a sexual assault center which could help somehow get around what happened and what to do next.

    The RASASC (rape and sexual abuse support center) is also worth contacting as they give free counseling for people going through what you did.

    Stay strong *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is just as bad as rape in my opinion. Just because its called something different doesnt mean its not as bad and he should get off lightly.

    I would say dont go and see your care worker again as what she said was ridiculous, but follow the others advice for places to go for help.

    Remember this wasnt your fault and you definately shouldnt feel guilty that it happened.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey guys thanks for help i dont think id dare complain but ill look into it,
    i am thought hoping to get a new care worker i will find out tomorrow,
    pals rang them on thursday so dont get why taking so long ... ill let u no xx
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