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Ending of a 6 year relationship - Scared of change

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been with Rebecca for six years, lived with her for two.

I'm happy living in my home, I love my home and I love the mini-family I have here with our pets and I still enjoy her company a lot. However our personalities are clashing on many things and as much as I love her(and I really do love her more than anything in the world) I can't stay with her.

If I stay with her i'll be an unhappy person as i'm unfulfilled in many ways in the relationship. I'm the type of person who will not end a relationship unless they do. I have an "oh it will be ok" attitude and I change my mind often, so i'm hoping to keep to my decision.

The reason i'm making this thread is that i'm simply needing an outlet. I've got what can only be described as "the jitters" inside right now. I think i'm scared of change, I feel like i'm braking up a home.

I've never had a problem meeting girls and i'm often made aware that i'm an attractive man, but i'm also very self concious and through the 6 years i've grow myself a lovely podgy belly through lack of exercise and too many take aways! So i'm scared of change for many reasons.

I want this to happen, I feel it is the right thing to do, but I think everyone in a relationship becomes reliant on the other person emotionally and materialistically. I'm going to have to survive with no backup, i'm going to have to cope with lonely nights and no one to talk to.

Just feels stressful to think about what the split will create. Sometimes I just like to keep the peace and go with the flow. It has been possibly one of the easiest breakups ever. It has been on the cards for a long time so we have literally said we will not be together and she will move out within two months.

I think, i'm going to have to go through a period of rehabilitation. I know i'm going to cry like a baby at some point, not looking forward to that. Maybe i'll take up an athletic hobby like jogging or something.

So then, if you read all that, give me your opinions!


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The ending of a relationship is always hard, but it sounds like you've thought it through and have good reasons for wanting out. You're right - you will have times when you might regret it and get really upset, equally you will have times when you have massive highs at the new potential your life will have. The best thing to do is concentrate on yourself, keep busy and surround yourself with friends and family. Trying a new hobby/getting fit is an excellent idea too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've recently ended a relationship too. We shared pets as well. You could say we clashed too as he had some major problems in his life. I'm scared of change too.
    At first I was feeling okay, said we'd be friends as we had started off as friends. But, then after chatting to me for a few weeks and borrowing some money as he'd lost his credit card, he stopped contacting me. I didn't say he had to pay me back but he went on about how he would. Now I'm feeling used and numb and raw inside. I feel betrayed by someone I thought I could trust.
    Anyway I guess hobbies are a good idea. That's what I'm going to try and get into again and take up some new ones. Get out and make some new aquaintances at least.
    At the moment I'm finding it very hard to get through a days work, with this dark feeling inside me. Just about surviving, but it is a rollercoaster.
    Message me if you like. Getting over a relationship is tough no matter the reasons.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talking in a relationship always works. Talk to her about it and solve out the problem. If you do not want to solve it and want a break up make it clean and simple dont blame each other it should be humbly done.
    Weight Loss Arlington
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