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Annoying girl situation

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Been meaning to post here for a few days but wasn't sure exactly what to say. Here goes!

There are two girls in my life right now.

The first is a work coleague of mine. We became friendly a few months ago, e-mailing and texting regularly and just having a laugh. I helped her out with one or two things and she was the one i'd moan at if I needed to. She's gorgeous, but i really thought nothing of it as she has a boyfriend and is just the friendly type. She told me her relationship with her bf is "not what it seems" and tbh she seems to go from blissfully happy with him to angry every 5 seconds.

However one night a few weeks ago the conversation got overly flirty and ended with her offering me "whatever i wanted as long as i understood it was a bit of fun". It didn't go any further than that at the time. To be honest it came completely out of the blue.

Six months ago i wouldn't have considered doing anything with someone elses girlfriend but i've changed recently....not necessarily for the better i have become more selfish, so I thought about it and decided that i wanted the fun. Bad I know but I just wanted to do something for me ad wasn't worried about the consequences. I judge myself for that!!

I've mentioned it to her 3 or 4 times now but she just brushes past it which makes me think she regrets saying it in the first place. Our friendship was always very honest so I'm wondering why she cant just say that? Is she just playing me for giggles? The whole friendship has gone a bit lukewarm since, almost as if I've ruined it by admitting that i think she's attractive.

To complicate matters I have lately felt maybe a little bit more than just fancying her. Altho that might be something to with the fact she has been all loved up this week and is off on holiday with her bf in a few days. Could be pure and simple jealousy! Guess where I just want to know where i stand with her. If I have any chance at all....or if we are just friends.

I also know that if I was reading this thread I'd be telling me to steer well clear!

Anyway, the 2nd girl. I met her online years ago, we have been suppsed to meet up 2 or 3 times but it never happenned for whatever reason.

We've been texting again recently and chatting on FB etc, and she is seemingly utterly desperate to meet me and keeps saying "I really like you" etc.

It's sweet, but i am feeling a bit pressured, like she has built me up in her mind to be something I'm not, like I couldn't possibly be as good as she expects me to be. Shes too keen on me for someone whos never met me for real! To be honest, the thought of meeting up with her just doesn't excite me ya know?

I am young free and single and have been for some time so part of me thinks I should just do it and see what happens. I might be pleasently surprised...but i also cant shake the feeling that i am just not that into it.

Has anyone out there met someone offline for the first time having not been sure and found it to be really great?

Maybe I am just terrified?!

Not expecting any advice really, just wanted to write it down and see if it made any more sense. I am probably over thinking all of this and need a good slap. Feel free!

Just annoying that the one I want blows hot and cold and the one who is really into me doesn't do anything for me..... :eek2:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i personally would avoid someone already in a relationship if they were offering to cheat with you rather than just be confused about who they want iyswim, because it would signal to me that they didnt place much value on monogamy, which is important to me, and you can be pretty sure theyll end up cheating on you too.
    Ok if you understand, as she says, that its just a bit of fun, but since you say you more than just fancy her, then steer clear or youre going to end up hurt.

    The other girl id give her a go, and see what shes like when you meet her before deciding whether you click or not
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dangling it in front of you and then slapping your hand away when you reach for it is a sure fire way of peaking your interest. I'd put this one down to experience, dude. There was probably a window of opportunity, but it's passed. Meet up with the girl you've met online and be straight with her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you didn't blow it already with girl#1 you are still miles and miles away of having anything happening here. All you can do is wait, but don't wait exclusively of something happening. Just, as you said, steer clear and give her her own room and see if she comes back. The ball is in her court now, if you keep going on you are just pushing her farther away.

    Tell girl#2 you are becoming a bit self-conscious, because she is giving you so much attention and hyping you, without even meeting you. Tell her you'd like to meet on neutral grounds (i.e. make no promises to where this meeting leads to, whatever that might be) and see how it goes. What do you have to lose?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    here was probably a window of opportunity

    I think this is what is frustrating me most. I keep wondering if there was a window and if so how long it was open for, or if there wasn't and she was just after an ego boost by making me chase her....every time it comes up she avoids it. She either hasn't got the guts to tell me to get lost or she likes the attention too much to let it go.

    My feelings for her now are confused. I do like her and I certainly fancy her but I don't see a relationship between us working at all. We are very different.

    Besides, appearances would suggest she is happy in her relationship right now. I have been trying to steer clear for the last few weeks.

    And Strubbles is right, with girl 2 I have absolutely nothing to lose. She's actually very sweet and has been very understanding of some problems i have/had these last few months.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My advice: commit a little self-crime, bust a nut and immediately afterwards ask yourself "what's an O.G. like myself to do in this particular quandary?". A man's mind is at it's clearest with a sticky tip.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My advice: commit a little self-crime, bust a nut and immediately afterwards ask yourself "what's an O.G. like myself to do in this particular quandary?". A man's mind is at it's clearest with a sticky tip.

    The answer to most girl problems. I advised the same in another thread ^^
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    exactly. In all seriousness, if you decide to apologize, wait and whack off before, if you still feel like apologizing afterwards, do it, if not, then you know why.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    The answer to most girl problems. I advised the same in another thread ^^

    Great minds. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are both very wise men..... :d

    Girl A spoke to me a lot today....I kind of wish she hadn't
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Neddy wrote: »
    You are both very wise men..... :d

    Girl A spoke to me a lot today....I kind of wish she hadn't

    yea, just forget her. Just don't bother, so it's no deal if she speaks to you or does not. She is just not an option and you will feel a lot better about it. Invest in the other girl to see what comes out of it.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    The answer to most girl problems. I advised the same in another thread ^^

    You're in good company, Damien Rice says the same thing. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Didn't speak to girl A today, she's off on holiday tomorrow so at least i won't have to look at her for a week, and arranging to meet up with girl B and drink......
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Question, would you tell a guy you've never met that you love him>

    This girl is beginning to creep me out just a little bit :yeees:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    girl b, or what?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    doesn't it suck when you crave an apple and you have to settle for a banana and then you realize it is moldy? Frustrating, but happens more often than you think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Indeed.

    Question is do i still eat the banana?!

    Probably not :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Neddy wrote: »
    Question, would you tell a guy you've never met that you love him?

    I'm on the verge of telling StubbleS I love him. But I don't want things to get awkward. So I shan't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm on the verge of telling StubbleS I love him. But I don't want things to get awkward. So I shan't.

    Yea, at some point you don't even need words anymore. You just know, and there is just no need to vulgarly blurt it out.

    Don't eat moldy things Neddy. It gives you the runs (at best!). Just lay back for a while until a friend introduces you to a mango, or possibly a pineapple. They often come unexpected.

    On the other hand, you could just have sex with the banana (I don't know any analogy for that, so sorry), but be wary, dipping your meat into the crazies is seldom sage course of action.
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