Sexuality

Former Member

On Monday I had this conversation with one of my best Male friends and we talked for and somehow got onto the conversation of sexuality, me and him are both males and both straight. But after during this conversation we talked about males having sex, and then I said what would you do if a male offered to suck you off, and he said he would say yess because there are no consequences. I agreed with him and we talked more and more, now on Tuesday next week we are getting together to experiment, I will suck him and he will suck me...we are both pretty open minded but will this be wired after we do this, and will we even go through with it, and does this make us gay or curious...I am not looking forward to it, but I kinda want this to happen...I have never been attracted to a guy before and he assured me he hasn't either (But I kinda find him attractive)...we have also been joking at school about it even though no one knows what we are talking about, like Ill say come here and he will look at me and say "on Tuesday" in a dirty voice...also he likes to be near me and some times he will sit on me or like try to feel me up, do you think he is gay?

Former Member

Do you think you might be gay?

Whatever is the case for either of you, seems quite quick for you two have been just chatting about this on Monday, and all of a sudden be planning to suck each other off?

Former Member

I have thought that I might gay in the past, and I have been fantasizing about what will happen....I just don't know if I am, I guess this will decide it...we have only known each other for 6 months....so I think he has thought he was gay in the past to or else he wouldn't do it, if you were straight would you do this at 14

Former Member

Some people might think that 14 is a bit young. Have you been sexually active before this, or is this a first time gay or straight?

Former Member

I have only gotten a hand job by a girl before, but i kept going soft so fast every time she stopped, but I was not really attracted to her

Former Member

Randoman wrote: »

I have only gotten a hand job by a girl before, but i kept going soft so fast every time she stopped, but I was not really attracted to her

Were you going soft when she wasnt stopping?

Former Member

no I was really hard when she was going

Former Member

So what do you guys think about all of this

Former Member

I think there's loads of time to work it out but in all things sex-related you have to be sure it's what you want and you're ready. Your partner's gender is less important than being sure you're comfortable and don't feel under pressure.

No form of sex is risk-free, look after your sexual health by using condoms (even for oral, you can get flavoured ones for the purpose).

It's not up to us to tell you if you're straight/gay/bi/whatever. That's for you to decide in your own time. Your sexual urges might change over time, that's also completely normal. You don't have to rush into labels it's ok to accept that actually sex and sexuality are bloody confusing!

Former Member

Don't rush into labelling yourself, sexuality is fluid especially when you're still a teenager. It's fine to be straight, it's fine to be gay, it's fine to be bi, it's fine to be everything. If you fancy boys more than girls it could be that you're gay, or you could be bi. If you're just curious about what it feels like to shag a boy then you could be anything; it's not unusual to be curious.

I'd be more worried that you're being pushed into something that you don't want to do. If you're happy to blow him, and be blown by him, and you've thought through the consequences then go right ahead. If you're still at school you need to make sure you trust the boy not to tell everyone.

Former Member

There is nothing wrong with questioning your sexuality and you don't have to define yourself these days. However 14 seems a little young for this kind of activity. As the previous poster suggested you do need to make sure you are on the same page when it comes to talking about this. In my experience people who have sex while still at school often get into arguments later when people start talking about things that the other person wanted to keep private.

Former Member

If it matters to you to call it one or the other: Yes you are both gay. Or at least bisexual, if you are attracted to girls too.

Former Member

I have to say that I was about 11/12 when I became sexually curious. If it was there to try, I tried it and it helped me figure out who I was. That is not to say that I am encouraging to to do the same thing, do what you feel is right for you. As others have said, don't put pressure on others, and don't let anyone pressurise you into doing something your not ready for. Even right up to the point of starting to go down on him, if your uncomfortable, say so and stop. You'll the better person for saying so and not just going ahead because you feel unable to say no.

On the label thing. Why do you have to be gay, straight or bi? Why not just be yourself?
I don't class myself as either gay or bi, I fall in love with the person not the genitals. Their personality and their ability to treat me with respect and to love me back is far more important. Life is too complicated to restrict yourself by a title or label.

Former Member

I was thinking about the last thing you said there, when I talked to my Tuesday Friend we decided that we are both Pansexual

---Pansexuality (also referred to as pans), or omnisexuality is a sexual orientation, characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire towards people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex---

and if anyone doesn't understand the difference between BI an Pansexual ---Pansexual more loving personalities, while bi is to have a fetish with the penis and love a women or the other way around

Former Member

That's ridiculously offensive to bisexual people. Not to mention incorrect.

Pansexuality doesn't regard gender as a binary concept. That is to say, pansexuality recognises that there are more genders than simply male and female. Bisexuality holds to the gender binary.


There's not a great distinction in real terms but people who spend a lot of time with trans people or have had trans partners will usually define as pan rather than bi.